# Jokes: 10 words or shorter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165 "2012-07-23T20:25:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/21 "2012-07-24T03:31:34Z")
What has a bottom at its top? A leg ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/22 "2012-07-24T03:42:40Z")
UK comedian Jimmy Carr tells a four word joke, but it really only works when spoken, as it relies on a homophone. “Venison is really [dear/deer].” ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/23 "2012-07-24T04:15:01Z")
> [@Lord\_Mondegreen](#): > > UK comedian Jimmy Carr tells a four word joke, but it really only works when spoken, as it relies on a homophone. “Venison is really [dear/deer].” Not only that, it only works when spoken\* in the UK \*! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/24 "2012-07-24T04:16:46Z")
“Yesterday, I…oh, wait, that wasn’t me.” ``` -- Stephen Wright ``` ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/25 "2012-07-24T04:23:31Z")
“Women! Can’t live with 'em, can’t shoot 'em.” ``` -- Steven (sp?) Wright ``` (Too soon? Not for Nzinga Seated!) ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/26 "2012-07-24T04:30:28Z")
“They can kill the Kennedys. Why can’t they…” – John Swartzwelder ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/27 "2012-07-24T04:32:37Z")
How many… umm… > [@twickster](#): > > Let’s stay away from antisemitic “humor,” please. > > No warning issued. > > **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/28 "2012-07-24T04:38:46Z")
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks. ---
**Author:** ![Suil\_Dubh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/29 "2012-07-24T11:52:28Z")
Somewhere, every minute, a woman gives birth. SOMEONE STOP HER!!! ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/30 "2012-07-24T12:22:06Z")
Methatesis! (‘Metathesis’ means switching syllables. Ten words including this explanation.) ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/31 "2012-07-24T12:34:27Z")
“Our act involves incestuous sex.” “What do you call…” “Aristocrats!” ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/32 "2012-07-24T12:59:02Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > “Our act involves incestuous sex.” > “What do you call…” > “Aristocrats!” BRILLIANT! Talk about distilling something long down to its essence. Was the iambic tetrameter (almost rhyming, certainly loaded with consonance) intentional, or accidental? Either way, it makes it even better. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/33 "2012-07-24T12:59:11Z")
Mjölnir: Thor’s Hammer, Sif’s Dildo. If work really sucked I’d smile a lot more there. Cthulhu in 2012. Don’t settle for the lesser evil. Learn from your parents’ mistakes, use birth control. “Motion-tracking turrets!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!” You’re just jealous that the voices are talking to me! Drive defensively. Buy a tank! It’s much better to be a smartass than the alternative. Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people. POTTED MEAT FOOD PRODUCT: Made By, For, And With Assholes. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/34 "2012-07-24T13:07:05Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > BRILLIANT! Talk about distilling something long down to its essence. > > Was the iambic tetrameter (almost rhyming, certainly loaded with consonance) intentional, or accidental? Either way, it makes it even better. I would love to be able to claim I am that clever… but it just came out that way. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/35 "2012-07-24T13:22:00Z")
Are Calvinist ministers pre-ordained? ---
**Author:** ![maisoui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@maisoui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maisoui)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/36 "2012-07-24T13:37:35Z")
> [@Enginerd](#): > > What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? > > Dr. Dre! Aw, man! My husband and I died laughing, but when I asked my son the question he said the answer and rolled his eyes as if to say “duh…”. \ ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/37 "2012-07-24T13:47:07Z")
Why does Snoop carry an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/38 "2012-07-24T13:59:13Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/39 "2012-07-24T14:12:36Z")
This one I read, and I am totally not making this up, in _Reader’s Digest_. Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo’ drizzle! (How many _Reader’s Digest_ readers got that, do you think? ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/40 "2012-07-24T14:21:51Z")
You think mucus is funny, but it’s snot. What meat does a priest eat during Lent? Nun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=3)