# Jokes: 10 words or shorter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165 "2012-07-23T20:25:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/61 "2012-07-24T17:24:09Z")
One of the shortest standup jokes I know, from Emo Phillips: “I’m a great lover, I bet.” Slightly longer, from Steven Wright: “You can’t have everything; where would you put it?” ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/62 "2012-07-24T17:24:59Z")
Shit, I forgot about that. Funny thing is I thought several times, “Hey, that’s longer than 10 words!” and then cheated myself. :smack: Edit: Gang rape joke is hilarious! Edit x2: Divide a pumpkin’s circumference by its diameter: pumpkin pi! There, I did it without cheating. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/63 "2012-07-24T17:32:27Z")
> [@Labtrash](#): > > “Escalators can’t be broken - they can only become stairs” > > –Butchered from a Mitch Hedberg routine. “Sorry for the convienence.” Man, Jimmy Carr is brutal and very very funny. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/64 "2012-07-24T17:56:29Z")
2x10 “Did a helicopter and rhinoceros mate?” “Hell if I know.” (insert so many joke questions here) “Fuck if I know.” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/65 "2012-07-24T18:00:44Z")
Name of man laying at your door? Matt. Name of man hanging on wall? Art. Name of woman with one leg? Eileen. Name of Japanese woman with one leg? Irene. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/66 "2012-07-24T18:02:25Z")
Shovel through his head? D(o)ug ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/67 "2012-07-24T18:03:28Z")
I was superstitious until I learned it was bad luck. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/68 "2012-07-24T18:13:19Z")
Lots of good “bumper sticker” humor here… I’ll add a few… Give me immortality or give me death! Imagine if there were no hypothetical situations. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/69 "2012-07-24T18:17:39Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > “Did a helicopter and rhinoceros mate?” > “Hell if I know.” I heard a variation: What do you call a half-elephant, half-rhinoceros? Elephino. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/70 "2012-07-24T18:44:30Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > “Women! Can’t live with 'em, can’t shoot 'em.” “Women, can’t live with them, pour me a beer” Norm on _Cheers_. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/71 "2012-07-24T18:45:03Z")
Q. What’s the ultimate Jewish dilemma? A. Pork on sale. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/72 "2012-07-24T18:50:53Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > What do you 10 Jews eating steak? > > Filet minyan. I’m going to have to tell this one to everyone at my shul. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/73 "2012-07-24T19:03:55Z")
I have one that’s in POOR taste. I will post with the OP’s permission… ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/74 "2012-07-24T19:14:08Z")
You should have halibut tonight. Why? Just for the halibut. ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/75 "2012-07-24T19:54:06Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > I have one that’s in POOR taste. I will post with the OP’s permission… I said nothing regarding taste, so that is entirely your call! (My original one wasn’t in the best of taste either.) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/76 "2012-07-24T19:59:35Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Also, jalapeno business is pronounced like “all up in your business” In what language?:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/77 "2012-07-24T20:11:53Z")
I said it was pronounced _like_ it, not _exactly_ like it. Many puns are not exact homophones. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/78 "2012-07-24T20:13:03Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > In what language?:dubious: Oh, come on, it’s not \*that \*far off, when you think about it… Okay, here’s another one: “The Detroit Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.” ``` -- Emo Phillips ``` ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/79 "2012-07-24T20:22:48Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > “Women, can’t live with them, pour me a beer” > > Norm on _Cheers_. Heh. Always loved that. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/80 "2012-07-24T20:32:36Z")
Roses are red. So is bacon. Poetry is hard. Bacon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=5)