# Jokes: 10 words or shorter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165 "2012-07-23T20:25:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/121 "2012-07-26T20:04:11Z")
What blows and sucks at the same time? ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/122 "2012-07-26T20:06:34Z")
World’s shortest poem: FLEAS Adam Had 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/123 "2012-07-26T23:09:45Z")
“A water hole”, he said. I thought, “he means well”. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/124 "2012-07-26T23:12:00Z")
“Dreamed I was a wigwam and teepee.” “You’re too tense.” mmm ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/125 "2012-07-26T23:41:32Z")
Citrus-bearing plant, Homes? A lemon tree, my dear Watson. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/126 "2012-07-26T23:43:52Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > What blows and sucks at the same time? Unless the answer is 2 words or less, it’s disqualified. What’s the answer? ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/127 "2012-07-27T00:03:33Z")
Snoop’s doing drug intervention…he’s now Snoop Deputy Dog. ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/128 "2012-07-27T00:05:10Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > What blows and sucks at the same time? My ex-wife ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/129 "2012-07-27T03:38:13Z")
“Conscience”: Astrology. Conjugation suck. I only like puddings that are white. I’m ricist. “Hoist”: a device for lifting things that are quite damp. ‘Jugular’: a major blood vessel found in street performers. “Awning”: yawning for no reason. “Optimist”: just the right amount of fog. “Carbon”: to abandon one’s slimming programme. “PUN”: Almost fun. I don’t eat dates. I’m cutting down on diary products. Human evolution, very briefly. Start: Biped. End: Buy iPad. “Harmony”: What comedians earn. “Shame”: Similar to Sean Connery. “Jargon”: Improvement made during re-edit of ‘The Phantom Menace’. “Succulent”: slang expression of contempt towards Lent. “Larva”: Immature volcano. “Guest”: a visitor whose name you were unsure of. Sometimes I can find erogenous zones. Sometimes not. It’s eratic. “Defer”: To put off gradual hearing loss. “Denizen”: Small room used for Buddhist meditation. Apparently, writing ‘tReAsOn’ like that is a capital offense. What’s unspecified, fragrant and Italian? Aroma n. I like well-written jokes with a surprise en ding! People with toothache, they’ve got a nerve. (All my own work, I thank you.) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/130 "2012-07-27T07:14:49Z")
Conjunctivitis dot com - there’s a site for sore eyes. ---
**Author:** ![ClintO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@ClintO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ClintO)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/131 "2012-07-27T08:41:33Z")
Did you hear the corduroy pillow made headlines? ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/132 "2012-07-27T09:53:14Z")
A man walks into a bar. “Ow!” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/133 "2012-07-27T12:52:53Z")
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/134 "2012-07-27T13:13:50Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Two peanuts walked into a bar and one was assaulted. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. > [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. Everyone beware of Doug. He not only repeats posts, he repeats his repeats. Which reminds me, Pete and Repeat were on a bed, Pete fell off… mmm ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/135 "2012-07-27T13:16:07Z")
Hear the one about the two peanuts walking down the… ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/136 "2012-07-27T15:02:21Z")
Time files like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. The masochist says, “Beat me.” The sadist says, “No.” I always liked this parody of Walt Whitman: “I repeat myself? Very well, I repeat myself.” And this one was a family favorite when my daughter was small: “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Interrupting cow.” “Interrupting cow wh–” “MOO!” ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/137 "2012-07-27T16:29:11Z")
Not a joke necessarily but a 10 word conversation between two people… “MR Ducks MR Not MR So, Cedar Wings MR Ducks.” Bu-dum tsss ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/138 "2012-07-28T02:14:34Z")
“Come again?” said the deaf hooker. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/139 "2012-07-28T03:28:42Z")
Do dyslexics read caps lock as cock slap? ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/140 "2012-07-28T03:42:38Z")
I give you: A Limerick (by the world’s laziest limerick writer) _There once was a man from Nantucket …ahhhh, fuck it_ Ha! I’ve got you all beat! 😛 Not only a _joke_ in 10 words or less, but a _limerick_ in 10 words or less. You won’t find too many of those! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=8)