# Jokes: 10 words or shorter **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 23, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165 "2012-07-23T20:25:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![denquixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@denquixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/denquixote)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/141 "2012-07-28T05:22:58Z")
Play review (Dorothy Parker on I Am A Camera): No Leica ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/142 "2012-07-28T06:35:32Z")
Title of a black guy flying a plane? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pilot . … racist. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/143 "2012-07-28T15:04:39Z")
> [@annie-xmas](#): > > what blows and sucks at the same time? > [@picunurse](#): > > unless the answer is 2 words or less, it’s disqualified. What’s the answer? blow job!! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/144 "2012-07-28T15:06:31Z")
An ICP fan was just stabbed in the juggalo vein. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/145 "2012-07-28T17:43:10Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > I give you: A Limerick (by the world’s laziest limerick writer) > _There once was a man from Nantucket > …ahhhh, fuck it_ > > Ha! I’ve got you all beat! 😛 Not only a _joke_ in 10 words or less, but a _limerick_ in 10 words or less. You won’t find too many of those! _There was a young man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two_ Ah, you’re right, it’s harder than it looks. Try again: _There was an old maid from Saigon_ 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/146 "2012-07-28T17:59:58Z")
My dick is so big, we’re standing on it. My dick is so big, I can’t carry it on. My dick is so big, it has its own dick. My dick is so big, it has two time zones. My dick is so big, my urologist is a Sherpa. My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome. My dick is so big, I’m not zoned for it. My dick is so big, it creates its own gravity. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/147 "2012-07-28T18:14:22Z")
What’s red and invisible? No tomatoes. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/148 "2012-07-28T18:52:46Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > _There was a young man from Peru > Whose limericks stopped at line two_ > > Ah, you’re right, it’s harder than it looks. Try again: > > _There was an old maid from Saigon_ > > 😉 😃 Then there’s the one about Emperor Nero… ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/149 "2012-07-30T06:52:55Z")
Booster cables walk into bar; warned not to start anything. “It’s only hardened skin,” Tom said callously. “These short notes are difficult!” Tom quavered. “I finally shut that pig up!” Tom said, disgruntled. “Leylandii, cut to shape, make a good fence,” Tom hedged. “Erato, Calliope, Melpomene - who are the other six?” Tom mused. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/150 "2012-07-30T06:54:56Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > And this one was a family favorite when my daughter was small: > > “Knock, knock.” > “Who’s there?” > “Interrupting cow.” > “Interrupting cow wh–” > “MOO!” Ah yes, a beloved favorite. The interrupting starfish edges it out a bit for laughs, but alas it is impossible to demonstrate in text. ---
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/151 "2012-07-30T07:37:50Z")
Shirley Temple walks into a bar. “We don’t serve Blacks.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/152 "2012-07-30T07:58:44Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > _There was a young man from Peru > Whose limericks stopped at line two_ > > Ah, you’re right, it’s harder than it looks. Try again: > > _There was an old maid from Saigon_ > > 😉 😃 I know those two as: _There was a young man from The Soo Whose limericks stopped at line two._ _There was an old maid from Verdun._ 🙂 (must remember to mention Emperor Nero afterwards) ---
**Author:** ![listedmia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@listedmia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/listedmia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/153 "2012-07-30T09:18:59Z")
“Whatcha call a reptile that stays up all night? Nocturtle.” Got that one published on the comics page when I was a young’n. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/154 "2012-07-30T11:54:37Z")
f(x) enters bar, is told “We don’t cater for functions”. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/155 "2012-07-30T19:19:57Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > “Conscience”: Astrology. > > Conjugation suck. > > I only like puddings that are white. I’m ricist. > > “Hoist”: a device for lifting things that are quite damp. > > ‘Jugular’: a major blood vessel found in street performers. > > “Awning”: yawning for no reason. > > “Optimist”: just the right amount of fog. > > “Carbon”: to abandon one’s slimming programme. > > “PUN”: Almost fun. > > I don’t eat dates. I’m cutting down on diary products. > > Human evolution, very briefly. Start: Biped. End: Buy iPad. > > “Harmony”: What comedians earn. > > “Shame”: Similar to Sean Connery. > > “Jargon”: Improvement made during re-edit of ‘The Phantom Menace’. > > “Succulent”: slang expression of contempt towards Lent. > > “Larva”: Immature volcano. > > “Guest”: a visitor whose name you were unsure of. > > Sometimes I can find erogenous zones. Sometimes not. It’s eratic. > > “Defer”: To put off gradual hearing loss. > > “Denizen”: Small room used for Buddhist meditation. > > Apparently, writing ‘tReAsOn’ like that is a capital offense. > > What’s unspecified, fragrant and Italian? Aroma n. > > I like well-written jokes with a surprise en ding! > > People with toothache, they’ve got a nerve. > > (All my own work, I thank you.) And good work, indeed - some of these are hilarious. And I find > [@](#): > > Human evolution, very briefly. Start: Biped. End: Buy iPad a bit more profound than I am comfortable with 😉 And why do I hear this in the voice of Homer Simpson? [QUOTE=Ethilrist] Roses are red. So is bacon. Poetry is hard. Bacon. [/QUOTE] I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/156 "2012-07-30T19:53:38Z")
“Farts smell so deaf people can appreciate them too”! “He who has the most birthdays lives the longest”. ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2012, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/157 "2012-08-02T08:18:18Z")
Inspecting mirrors is a job I could see myself doing. ---
**Author:** ![Khristy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@Khristy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khristy)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2012, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/158 "2012-08-02T13:33:40Z")
What food do lesbians cook? They dont, they eat out! ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/159 "2012-08-02T14:54:31Z")
I knew a man named Glasscock. Always saw him coming. How many potatoes to kill an Irishman? Zero. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165/160 "2012-08-03T19:57:39Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > “My wife’s gone to the Caribbean.” “Jamaica?” “No, she volunteered.” That joke was the [inspiration for the title](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%27yer_Mak%27er#Pronunciation_of_song_title) for the Led Zeppelin song _D’yer Mak’er._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-10-words-or-shorter/629165.md?page=9)