# Jokes that didn't stand the test of time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866 "2010-01-21T17:59:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/1 "2010-01-21T17:59:53Z")
New Florida state motto: Come to Florida, where your vote counts. Again, and again, and again… LAPD’s motto: “To protect and to serve.” They’re changing it to “We’ll treat you like a King.” What are the scariest five words in Washington these days? “Dan, I don’t feel well.” ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/2 "2010-01-21T18:07:35Z")
NASA: Need Another Seven Astronauts. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/3 "2010-01-21T18:10:27Z")
On The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson once did a sketch where they were “retiring the Dolly Parton Jokes”, which they did in a skit where they threw out every Boob Joke they could. At the start of the skit they went to the Grave of Retired Jokes, where Carson read a few that had seen their day, like Euell Gibbons jokes and Tiny Tim jokes. Sadly, I can’t recall any of those jokes. All I can remember are the Dolly Parton gags. And I really do think they stopped making those Dolly Parton gags after that. Maybe Parton said she wouldn’t appear on the show anymore if they kept doing it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/4 "2010-01-21T18:15:55Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > NASA: Need Another Seven Astronauts. How do they know that Christa McAuliffe had dandruff? They found her Head and Shoulders on the beach. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/5 "2010-01-21T18:26:36Z")
What do we need for a Beatles reunion? Three more bullets. What did the doctor find during Brooke Shields’ Pap test? Michael Jackson’s other glove. What’s wrong with the Clinton campaign? Too much sex, too much Gore. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/6 "2010-01-21T18:50:26Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > How do they know that Christa McAuliffe had dandruff? > > They found her Head and Shoulders on the beach. She used to be a social studies teacher, but now she’s history. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/7 "2010-01-21T18:55:35Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > How do they know that Christa McAuliffe had dandruff? > > They found her Head and Shoulders on the beach. That was Vic Morrow, with a helicopter, in the bushes. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/8 "2010-01-21T19:00:55Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > That was Vic Morrow, with a helicopter, in the bushes. Here lies Vic Morrow… Here lies Vic Morrow… Here lies Vic Morrow… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/9 "2010-01-21T19:02:00Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Here lies Vic Morrow… > > Here lies Vic Morrow… > > Here lies Vic Morrow… May he rest in pieces. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/10 "2010-01-21T19:15:02Z")
Billy Mays died right after Michael Jackson? I guess if the OxyCotin doesn’t kill you, the OxyClean will. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/11 "2010-01-21T19:42:14Z")
This just in. Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/12 "2010-01-21T19:49:25Z")
Guess who just stopped smoking? David Koresh. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/13 "2010-01-21T19:49:43Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What are the scariest five words in Washington these days? “Dan, I don’t feel well.” I’m sure I’m about to feel like an idiot, but I don’t get this one. Can someone please explain? ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/14 "2010-01-21T19:51:57Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > I’m sure I’m about to feel like an idiot, but I don’t get this one. Can someone please explain? Clinton to Quayle? ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/15 "2010-01-21T19:55:01Z")
No, Bush (41) to Quayle. As in, “Uh-oh, Bush may die and Quayle may become President.” The one I’m not sure I get is **tdn** ’s in #8. Is the idea that one keeps finding new places where Vic Morrow lies, since he’s all in pieces? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/16 "2010-01-21T19:55:21Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > Clinton to Quayle? Bush to Quayle. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/17 "2010-01-21T19:57:44Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > I’m sure I’m about to feel like an idiot, but I don’t get this one. Can someone please explain? In case you weren’t around or paying attention in those days, VP Dan Quayle was considered something of a joke. Compared to him, Sarah Palin was taken very seriously. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/18 "2010-01-21T19:58:59Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > The one I’m not sure I get is **tdn** ’s in #8. Is the idea that one keeps finding new places where Vic Morrow lies, since he’s all in pieces? Yep. ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/19 "2010-01-21T20:12:00Z")
In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=547192), someone uses the old “didn’t know Paul was in a band before Wings” joke. But it’s a joke that really doesn’t make sense anymore, even as a joke, since I’m sure you’d be hard-pressed to find even the most pop-culture history challenged kid who doesn’t know who The Beatles were, while I’m sure you wouldn’t have to try very hard to find many, many young people who have no idea who Wings were. Granted, even when the joke made sense, back in the 70s, I know it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously (it being a joke and all), but at least then, pretty much everyone would have known who Wings were. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/20 "2010-01-21T20:16:14Z")
Paul McCartney was in Wings? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866.md?page=2)