# Jokes that didn't stand the test of time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866 "2010-01-21T17:59:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/21 "2010-01-21T20:17:21Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > Paul McCartney was in Wings? Well, not the REAL Paul McCartney… ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/22 "2010-01-21T20:36:38Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > No, Bush (41) to Quayle. As in, “Uh-oh, Bush may die and Quayle may become President.” > [@runner pat](#): > > Bush to Quayle. > [@tdn](#): > > In case you weren’t around or paying attention in those days, VP Dan Quayle was considered something of a joke. Compared to him, Sarah Palin was taken very seriously. Of course!! Yes, I was indeed around and paying attention; but in 2010, for the life of me I couldn’t think of any prominent Dans in Washington, past or present. Just goes to prove the premise of the OP, I suppose… ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/23 "2010-01-21T20:54:18Z")
How many Star Trek fans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to change it, and two to argue about whether the new one is as good as the old. How many Doctor Who fans does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they just sit around wishing it would come back on What is the World’s thinnest strip of beach? Bobby Sands ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/24 "2010-01-21T21:00:29Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > In case you weren’t around or paying attention in those days, VP Dan Quayle was considered something of a joke. Compared to him, Sarah Palin was taken very seriously. This one is updatable, though, since it seems like no-one ever likes the VP. EX: “Dick, I’m not feelin’ well.” “Joe, I’m not feeling well.” ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/25 "2010-01-21T21:05:27Z")
What’s black and white and Jewish and has two eyes? Sammy Davis Jr. and Moyshe Dayan ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/26 "2010-01-21T21:06:48Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > This one is updatable, though, since it seems like no-one ever likes the VP. > > EX: “Dick, I’m not feelin’ well.” > “Joe, I’m not feeling well.” You know, he’s just Biden’ his time. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/27 "2010-01-21T21:08:30Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > This one is updatable, though, since it seems like no-one ever likes the VP. > > EX: “Dick, I’m not feelin’ well.” > “Joe, I’m not feeling well.” Good point. Al would have worked. Sarah definitely would have worked. And Joe could have worked twice! ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/28 "2010-01-21T21:22:05Z")
Listen to _Burns and Allen_ or _Jack Benny_ radio shows, lots of topical humour that doesn’t make sense. Geroge) But Gracie I like dark meat Gracie) Sorry George all the turkeys sold now-a-days have only white meat George) How is that possible Gracie) If they moved up Thanksgiving a week, you’d turn white too. ------\> Ray Noble) When Gracie get’s elected president, she can give you a job. Ask her to be Secretary of State George) What would I know about that? Ray) Well you look like Hull to me. (Cordell Hull was Secretary of State in the 30s) ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/29 "2010-01-21T21:31:16Z")
Well, if sick jokes about celebrity deaths fit the category: What kind of wood doesn’t float? Natalie Wood I feel dirty now. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/30 "2010-01-21T21:57:34Z")
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and Fred Flintstone have in common? A: They both look out their window and see Rubble. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/31 "2010-01-21T21:59:03Z")
Why is there no nitrogen in Ireland? Because nitrogen is never found in a [free state](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_Free_State). (That quip was only relevant from 1922 to '37, and I was born in 1959, but my elementary school library had some ancient volumes, including the joke book where I first encountered that pun.) ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/32 "2010-01-21T22:06:51Z")
> [@torie](#): > > Guess who just stopped smoking? > > David Koresh. Did you hear that Jeffrey Dahmer escaped? He was last seen headed to Waco with a 40-gallon drum of barbeque sauce. Did you hear what Jeffrey Dahmer said to Lorena Bobbit? “You gonna eat that?” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/33 "2010-01-21T22:08:20Z")
Let’s say we skip the jokes and just do punch lines? 1. “Chicken Kiev.” 2. “Boys’ Pants Half Off” 3. “Astronauts in your tuna.” 4. “See you later honey, I’m going out for a slice.” 5. “Riding the Staten Island ferry costs an arm and a leg now.” 6. “John Elway is playing the slow, white Bronco.” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/34 "2010-01-21T22:28:14Z")
What does McDonalds and the USA have in common? They’re both run by a clown named Ronald. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/35 "2010-01-21T22:32:38Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Let’s say we skip the jokes and just do punch lines? > > 1. “Chicken Kiev.” > 2. “Boys’ Pants Half Off” > 3. “Astronauts in your tuna.” > 4. “See you later honey, I’m going out for a slice.” > 5. “Riding the Staten Island ferry costs an arm and a leg now.” > 6. “John Elway is playing the slow, white Bronco.” OK, I’ll bite on a couple: 2. Why does Michael Jackson hang out at K-Mart 6. What famous athlete is in the OJ Simpson movie 3. has something to do with Challenger explosion ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/36 "2010-01-21T22:42:27Z")
This one doesn’t work as well in print, but [del]is[/del] used to be fun aloud: Q: What does Michael Jackson love best about twenty eight year olds? A: There are twenty of them! ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/37 "2010-01-21T22:55:10Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > Geroge) But Gracie I like dark meat > > Gracie) Sorry George all the turkeys sold now-a-days have only white meat > > George) How is that possible > > Gracie) If they moved up Thanksgiving a week, you’d turn white too. I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/38 "2010-01-21T23:05:42Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > I don’t get it. The date of Thanksgiving has been somewhat … variable. [Additional reading](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving_%28United_States%29#1939_to_1941) ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/39 "2010-01-21T23:08:43Z")
But why would that cause someone to turn white? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/40 "2010-01-21T23:16:47Z")
From 2003: What’s the difference between George Bush, Saddam Hussein, and Ariel Sharon? Bush wants to finish off\* Bavli\*, Saddam wants to finish off _Yerushalmi_, and Sharon wants to finish off Shas. (Okay, I know I gotta explain this one. The _Bavli_ is the Babylonian Talmud, the _Yerushalmi_ is the Jerusalem Talmud, and Shas is the combined term for Talmud and Mishna, and also an Israeli party). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866.md?page=3)