# Jokes that didn't stand the test of time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866 "2010-01-21T17:59:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/41 "2010-01-21T23:20:05Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > But why would that cause someone to turn white? There is the expression that one turns white as a sheet when scared (as turkeys might be when informed that their execution has been moved up a week). ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/42 "2010-01-21T23:24:49Z")
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach? “You’re in my son” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/43 "2010-01-21T23:25:59Z")
“This film has been modified from its original version: It has been formatted to fit your screen.” ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/44 "2010-01-21T23:35:50Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > There is the expression that one turns white as a sheet when scared (as turkeys might be when informed that their execution has been moved up a week). But why would _Geroge Burns_ turn white? I guess she means, “If they moved Thanksgiving up _and you were a turkey_, you’d turn white too”. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/45 "2010-01-21T23:55:52Z")
What did Christa McAuliffe tell her husband before she left? “You feed the kids, I’ll feed the fishes.” ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/46 "2010-01-22T00:13:38Z")
What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken Yes, in very poor taste, I know. ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/47 "2010-01-22T00:30:04Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? > > Christopher Walken > > Yes, in very poor taste, I know. _snicker_ ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/48 "2010-01-22T00:36:40Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > But why would _Geroge Burns_ turn white? > > I guess she means, “If they moved Thanksgiving up _and you were a turkey_, you’d turn white too”. Or something. Yes, that’s exactly what she means. “Put yourself in the turkey’s shoes, and you’ll see why they’re white.” ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/49 "2010-01-22T00:39:10Z")
Old one, from a long since obscure event (25 years ago): What was Leon Klinghoffer’s last bar order? 2 shots and a splash. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/50 "2010-01-22T00:52:40Z")
Did you see the new Karen Carpenter album? Her picture’s on the side. Do you know why Michael Jackson’s pants are so small? They’re not his. How did (TV news reporter) Jessica Savitch die? Interviewing Natalie Wood. What do you get if you cross a turkey and a chicken? A Quayle. Nancy Reagan is proof that you _can_ be too rich and too thin. - by Wendy Wasserstein ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/51 "2010-01-22T00:58:03Z")
> [@Anamorphic](#): > > In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=547192), someone uses the old “didn’t know Paul was in a band before Wings” joke. But it’s a joke that really doesn’t make sense anymore, even as a joke, since I’m sure you’d be hard-pressed to find even the most pop-culture history challenged kid who doesn’t know who The Beatles were, while I’m sure you wouldn’t have to try very hard to find many, many young people who have no idea who Wings were. > > Granted, even when the joke made sense, back in the 70s, I know it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously (it being a joke and all), but at least then, pretty much everyone would have known who Wings were. What do you call a dog wings? Linda McCartney ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/52 "2010-01-22T00:59:08Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve? > > Christopher Walken > > Yes, in very poor taste, I know. Why didn’t Superman save John Denver? Cause he’s in a wheelchair ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/53 "2010-01-22T01:00:59Z")
Ah, what the hell, a few more: What was Budd Dwyer’s favorite toothpaste? Aim. What was the last thing Budd Dwyer’s wife said to him? “Don’t go shooting your mouth off.” What was Budd Dwyer’s favorite food? Open-face sandwiches. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/54 "2010-01-22T01:10:06Z")
> [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](#): > > What do you call a dog wings? > > Linda McCartney Was that supposed to be “a dog _with_ wings”? Because I can’t make it make sense any other way. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/55 "2010-01-22T01:15:45Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > Yes, that’s exactly what she means. “Put yourself in the turkey’s shoes, and you’ll see why they’re white.” I _still_ don’t get it. > [@](#): > > George) But Gracie I like dark meat > > Gracie) Sorry George all the turkeys sold now-a-days have only white meat > > George) How is that possible > > Gracie) If they moved up Thanksgiving a week, you’d turn white too. Was this related to something in the news where the date of Thanksgiving had changed? Because I would imagine that a turkey would be “white as a sheet” around Thanksgiving _even if_ the date of Thanksgiving did not change. P.S. Maybe the joke was made on the show in 1939; a quick Google search tells me that president Roosevelt changed the date of Thanksgiving that year to bolster the economy. > **[Thanksgiving](http://docs.fdrlibrary.marist.edu/thanksg.html)** > > Franklin D. Roosevelt Library & Museum ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/56 "2010-01-22T01:18:24Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > Well, if sick jokes about celebrity deaths fit the category: > > What kind of wood doesn’t float? > Natalie Wood > I feel dirty now. What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used? A stroke Incidentally, Robert Wagner did a commercial for Viagra when it first came out. I used to say, when I saw it, “Hi I’m Robert Wagner, and I haven’t had any wood since Natalie.” ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/57 "2010-01-22T01:27:57Z")
When I was a kid I had a joke book that had the following joke: What do you call a white man surrounded by 10 black men? Quarterback. What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 black men? Warden. What do you call a white man surrounded by 6,000,000 black men? The Prime Minister of Rhodesia. I definitely did not understand that joke at all, and it would not be until many years later that I did. I had never even heard of that country’s existence, prior to seeing that joke. ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/58 "2010-01-22T01:38:24Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Was that supposed to be “a dog _with_ wings”? Because I can’t make it make sense any other way. Yeah. A dog WITH wings. I even previewed it.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/59 "2010-01-22T02:00:57Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > When I was a kid I had a joke book that had the following joke: > > What do you call a white man surrounded by 10 black men? > > Quarterback. > > What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 black men? > > Warden. > > What do you call a white man surrounded by 6,000,000 black men? > > The Prime Minister of Rhodesia. > > I definitely did not understand that joke at all, and it would not be until many years later that I did. I had never even heard of that country’s existence, prior to seeing that joke. I’m guessing this was not the typical corny joke book written for children? ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/60 "2010-01-22T02:25:12Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > Ah, what the hell, a few more: > > What was Budd Dwyer’s favorite toothpaste? Aim. > > What was the last thing Budd Dwyer’s wife said to him? “Don’t go shooting your mouth off.” > > What was Budd Dwyer’s favorite food? Open-face sandwiches. I need to hear another Bud Dwyer joke like I need a hole in the head… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866.md?page=4)