# Jokes that didn't stand the test of time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866 "2010-01-21T17:59:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![LunarPlexus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@LunarPlexus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LunarPlexus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/61 "2010-01-22T02:37:10Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > Yes, that’s exactly what she means. “Put yourself in the turkey’s shoes, and you’ll see why they’re white.” The turkey’s shoes are white because Thanksgiving is after Labor Day? ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/62 "2010-01-22T02:41:53Z")
No, no, you aren’t supposed to wear white after Labor Day! The turkey’s shoes are white because Thanksgiving is _before_ next year’s Labor Day. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/63 "2010-01-22T02:55:29Z")
What’s twelve inches long and has 100 holes in it? [Karen Carpenter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Carpenter#Death)’s belt. ---
**Author:** ![Manwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Manwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manwich)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/64 "2010-01-22T02:58:43Z")
What goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on three legs in the evening? Paul Mccartney and his wives. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/65 "2010-01-22T03:40:46Z")
For a completely different reason other than politics: Q: When is a boy not a boy? A: When he’s abed. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/66 "2010-01-22T04:18:06Z")
> [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](#): > > Old one, from a long since obscure event (25 years ago): > > What was Leon Klinghoffer’s last bar order? > > 2 shots and a splash. What does P.L.O. stand for? “Push Leon Overboard.” ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/67 "2010-01-22T04:19:08Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Did you see the new Karen Carpenter album? Her picture’s on the side. “If Mama Cass had given her ham sandwich to Karen Carpenter, they might both still be alive today.” ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/68 "2010-01-22T04:38:09Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Did you see the new Karen Carpenter album? Her picture’s on the side. I know she died of complications from anorexia, but I still don’t get this. Is it a reference to a specific album? ETA: Oh, nevermind. You mean the picture’s on the infinitesimal side of the vinyl album itself, not on the album art. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee7513/32.png) [@Mona\_Lott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lott)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/69 "2010-01-22T04:43:31Z")
What has eight legs, one tit and goes to dinner parties? The Fords and the Rockefellers. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/70 "2010-01-22T05:20:24Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > You mean the picture’s on the infinitesimal side of the vinyl album itself, not on the album art. :smack: Rather on the side of the record sleeve, which is still pretty darn thin. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/71 "2010-01-22T05:42:08Z")
> [@torie](#): > > Guess who just stopped smoking? > > David Koresh. I thought that was Ted Bundy. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/72 "2010-01-22T06:13:10Z")
A 1991 joke that got recycled in 2003: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? Nothing…yet. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/73 "2010-01-22T10:56:46Z")
Will somebody tell Jay Leno that his Clinton jokes stopped being funny sometime around 1991? Sorry it’s not a joke, but he never updates those at all. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/74 "2010-01-22T12:00:50Z")
Bonus points if anyone actually gets this, as it was topical for about ten minutes: Did you hear that [Ann Winterton\*](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ann_Winterton) was going to star in _The Passion of the Christ_? It didn’t work out - they kept withholding the whip. \*See the section on her Morecambe joke, to which this was a response. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/75 "2010-01-22T13:30:12Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > What does P.L.O. stand for? > > “Push Leon Overboard.” What do the sharks call Leon? Meals on wheels\* \*Mr. Klinghoffer was confined to a wheelchair ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/76 "2010-01-22T14:14:20Z")
What do you get when you cross a crowded politican with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton I heart Michael Jackson died of food poisoning from eating 10 iyear old weiners. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/77 "2010-01-22T14:50:46Z")
What’s the difference between the United States and the Soviet Union? The United States has a Communist party. (Now _that_ was a short-lived joke. A few weeks after it became true, the Soviet Union ceased to exist…) ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/78 "2010-01-22T14:57:42Z")
What’s the difference between The USA and the UK? The USA has Ronald Regan, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Stevie Wonder. The UK has Margaret Thatcher, no cash, no hope, and no wonder. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/79 "2010-01-22T15:21:14Z")
A crowded politician? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866/80 "2010-01-22T15:36:10Z")
Can you imagine if you were 18 and this was your first election? It would be like the first time you have sex, and your choice is between Shelley Winters and Bela Abzug. -Johnny Carson, 1980 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-didnt-stand-the-test-of-time/525866.md?page=5)