# Jokes that just need to DIE ALREADY **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664 "2015-02-26T15:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/1 "2015-02-26T15:14:14Z")
I remember the first time I saw the old “dihydrogen monoxide” joke. It was brilliant! It was nerdy, it capitalized out the ignorance of others, it was clever, and it made a good point about the fear of science. Oh, how I laughed. However, that was in the early damned 90s - over TWENTY YEARS AGO! And yet I STILL regularly see it trotted out at least monthly here. The moldering corpse is dragged out of its coffin and paraded around yet again for all to see, with an invariably smug air of “Oh, look how clever I am for using THIS witty nugget of gem yet again!” No, I’m not going to post a link. It’s been done so often for so long it would be unfair to single out any one particular person. But, and this is the point: LET. IT. DIE. Trust me, by this point, any human being on the planet - or at the very least, on these boards - who is smart enough to understand the joke has already SEEN the joke! No one is still impressed by it. It’s like fingernails on the chalkboard to me. Feel free to contribute your own pet peeves, from this board or elsewhere. I just had to get that off my chest. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/2 "2015-02-26T15:19:59Z")
The Opal “joke”. Let it go already. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/3 "2015-02-26T15:22:16Z")
I think we should take all these bad jokes and throw them down in a quarry somewhere… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/4 "2015-02-26T15:27:27Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > The Opal “joke”. Let it go already. This is the one I hate the most. Opal has passed away, and there are better ways of remembering her than a tired old joke. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/5 "2015-02-26T15:29:06Z")
I’ve never seen the joke the OP refers to, nor do I have any idea what it means. After you have finished pointing and laughing at me, could you explain it so that I may know what it is that I must never repeat? ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/6 "2015-02-26T15:30:46Z")
The sequel that you hate to the film you love DOES exist. That oh so witty “Highlander…2?” see what I did there bullshit is not clever and just annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/7 "2015-02-26T15:33:20Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’ve never seen the joke the OP refers to, nor do I have any idea what it means. After you have finished pointing and laughing at me, could you explain it so that I may know what it is that I must never repeat? Dihydrogen monoxide= H[sub]2[/sub]O. Some people still think it’s clever to talk about this eeeevil chemical and list some side effects that also apply to water. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/8 "2015-02-26T15:34:16Z")
“Dihydrogen monoxide” Is water. It’s used to mock people who complain about “chemicals” in food while not knowing anything about them. It sounds dangerous while being totally benign. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/9 "2015-02-26T15:34:37Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’ve never seen the joke the OP refers to, nor do I have any idea what it means. After you have finished pointing and laughing at me, could you explain it so that I may know what it is that I must never repeat? I’ve never heard of it as well. I had to Google it. [Here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_monoxide_hoax) ETA: Double Nija’d!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/10 "2015-02-26T15:35:02Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’ve never seen the joke the OP refers to, nor do I have any idea what it means. After you have finished pointing and laughing at me, could you explain it so that I may know what it is that I must never repeat? > **[Facts About Dihydrogen Monoxide](https://www.dhmo.org/facts.html)** > > Dihydrogen Monoxide > Research Division provides an international > clearinghouse for information on Dihydrogen Monoxide > including current research results, governmental > regulations, and exposure and contamination alerts. > Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)... And in case you still don’t get it [Dihydrogen monoxide parody - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_monoxide_hoax) For the record I still thinks its cute, but then again I’m trying to pretend it’s still the 90’s and I’m still in my early 20’s. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/11 "2015-02-26T15:36:42Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’ve never seen the joke the OP refers to, nor do I have any idea what it means. After you have finished pointing and laughing at me, could you explain it so that I may know what it is that I must never repeat? Basically, someone goes around trotting out the dangers of “dihydrogen monoxide” - people have drowned in it, too much of it can cause brain swelling, seizures and death; it causes X number of deaths annually, and before long, the naive and frightened public wants this dangerous-sounding compound to have warning labels or be restricted. The joke, of course, is that “dihydrogen monoxide” is water; H2O. The joke is pointing out the naivete and ignorance of the general public. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/12 "2015-02-26T15:37:44Z")
Haha, wow, \*\*WOOKINPANUB \*\*got 5 replies in 4 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/13 "2015-02-26T15:37:50Z")
Boy I’m glad I thought not to answer! IRL, the joke of Chinese food = stray cats needs to be retired. What a stupid, senseless, racist joke. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/14 "2015-02-26T15:38:29Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Trust me, by this point, any human being on the planet - or at the very least, on these boards - who is smart enough to understand the joke has already SEEN the joke! No one is still impressed by it. Gee, I would have thought _everyone_ would have seen the [relevant xkcd](http://xkcd.com/1053/) by now. > [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’ve never seen the joke the OP refers to, nor do I have any idea what it means. After you have finished pointing and laughing at me, could you explain it so that I may know what it is that I must never repeat? Congrats, **WOOKINPANUB**! Lucky you! > [@Anaamika](#): > > IRL, the joke of Chinese food = stray cats needs to be retired. What a stupid, senseless, racist joke. Now _that’s_ a joke no one else needs to learn. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/15 "2015-02-26T15:46:44Z")
“Mexican food gives you diarrhea”. No, it doesn’t - and I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a joke about how Mexicans are dirty, or a joke about how Americans have weak digestion, but it’s just not funny either way. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/16 "2015-02-26T15:49:56Z")
Uranus. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/17 "2015-02-26T15:50:41Z")
Thanks all for ‘splainin’. I can confidently swear that I will never use that joke (she said as she dropped a handful of dirt into the open grave). ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/18 "2015-02-26T15:53:57Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > “Mexican food gives you diarrhea”. No, it doesn’t - and I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a joke about how Mexicans are dirty, or a joke about how Americans have weak digestion, but it’s just not funny either way. I thought it was the water. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/19 "2015-02-26T15:56:29Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Gee, I would have thought _everyone_ would have seen the [relevant xkcd](http://xkcd.com/1053/) by now. Way to be self-referential there :). Many Dopers are today part of the lucky 10,000 learning about this strip. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/20 "2015-02-26T15:59:32Z")
Fucking fish puns. I don’t know why people here are so hooked on them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664.md?page=2)