# Jokes that just need to DIE ALREADY **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664 "2015-02-26T15:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/181 "2015-02-27T21:55:39Z")
“I am unfunny dweeb. You are unfunny dweeb. Let us be unfunny dweebs together.” ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/182 "2015-02-27T22:19:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “I am unfunny dweeb. You are unfunny dweeb. Let us be unfunny dweebs together.” Pretty much, yeah. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/183 "2015-02-27T22:27:58Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > Graham? Or saltine? Graham has been dead for years. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/184 "2015-02-27T23:32:42Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > Graham? Or saltine? And there should also be ines, for those watching their sodium intake. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/185 "2015-02-27T23:41:43Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Complaining about how in-jokes are unfunny is pointless. People don’t tell them because they are _funny_ - almost by definition, they are not, as the ‘humour’ value derives from the fact that the audience has already heard them many times. People tell them in order to assert a sort of comradeship, to signal that they are part of the in-group, to pass the time, etc. > > Almost every human group does this, it seems to be a universal behaviour, and complaining about it is not unlike Canute compaining about the tides. 😉 Except that Canute had a point to make. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2015, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/186 "2015-02-28T02:32:49Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > And there should also be ines, for those watching their sodium intake. matzo? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2015, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/187 "2015-02-28T03:01:50Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > matzo? Well, then you gotta worry about your human-infant-blood intake. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/188 "2015-03-01T18:56:41Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Opal herself actually hated it, and wished people would stop using it. > > Most of the in-jokes here have been done to death, “once for 20 minutes”, “1920s death rays”, etc. And the whole “zombies” things. Dopers are pretty damned good at never letting a joke die off, long after its time. **Guin** , thank you mentioning the zombie thing. It drives me fucking nuts when someone has to clue us in that a thread is old, by cleverly mentioning zombies. Just Stop!! ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/189 "2015-03-01T19:33:18Z")
They should be called “Jesus threads”, since a zombie doesn’t actually come back to life, and Jesus is the only one who did. Haha please, it was a joke ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2015, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/190 "2015-03-01T23:44:18Z")
The cleverness, that is what must stop. It just gets everso tiresome. I mean, the Brits have it right, whenever they call a person “clever”, it always seems to end up sounding like an insult. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/191 "2015-03-02T00:28:26Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > The cleverness, that is what must stop. It just gets everso tiresome. I mean, the Brits have it right, whenever they call a person “clever”, it always seems to end up sounding like an insult. Oscar Wilde said it best… > [@](#): > > **JACK.** I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can’t go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left. > > **ALGERNON.** We have. > > **JACK.** I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk about? > > **ALGERNON.** The fools? Oh! about the clever people, of course. > > **JACK.** What fools! ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/192 "2015-03-02T01:04:20Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Flying Spaghetti Monster and the like (pastafarians, putting Jedi as your religion on official forms, etc) > > No using it doesn’t make you funny or witty, it only shows that you’re a hateful anti religion jerk. Now, now. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is certainly no joke, like Jesus or Catholicism or Muhammed were. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/193 "2015-03-02T01:25:10Z")
> [@FXMastermind](#): > > They should be called “Jesus threads”, since a zombie doesn’t actually come back to life, and Jesus is the only one who did. Then they’d all have to be moved to Great Debates, because witnessing. > [@](#): > > Haha please, it was a joke No backsies! ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/194 "2015-03-02T02:11:26Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Then they’d all have to be moved to Great Debates, because witnessing. Oh goddamn, I fogot all about that allowance on these boards. The horror, the horror ---
**Author:** ![FXMastermind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fxmastermind/32/7289_2.png) [@FXMastermind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FXMastermind)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/195 "2015-03-02T02:12:36Z")
Fogot that’s “forgot” with an accent not a typo Just imagine it in a Forrest Gump voice ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/196 "2015-03-02T02:21:21Z")
> [@Lubricious\_Integument](#): > > Unfortunately > > 1. a relevant point > 2. got nothing > 3. Buckeye! > > never caught on. I actually shudder when I think of that thread. Her abject horror at a piece of confection would have been laughable, if not so psychotic. (Opal started a thread denouncing “buck eyes”, because they reminded her of actual eye balls that were gouged out of the eye sockets of deer. I never heard anyone reacting this way to, say, munching on gingerbread men or bear claws. Yeah, too bad it never caught on; it was a much more accurate glimpse into her psyche than the “Hi, Opal!”) And then there are the constant jokes about gay men and anal sex. Is there any joke that’s not been done to death, any “clever” association still to be made? And jesus, I still hear occasional AIDS jokes! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/197 "2015-03-02T03:39:23Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I actually shudder when I think of that thread. Her abject horror at a piece of confection would have been laughable, if not so psychotic. > > (Opal started a thread denouncing “buck eyes”, because they reminded her of actual eye balls that were gouged out of the eye sockets of deer. I never heard anyone reacting this way to, say, munching on gingerbread men or bear claws. Yeah, too bad it never caught on; it was a much more accurate glimpse into her psyche than the “Hi, Opal!”) > > And then there are the constant jokes about gay men and anal sex. Is there any joke that’s not been done to death, any “clever” association still to be made? And jesus, I still hear occasional AIDS jokes! Wait, she was talking about the candy? All this time, I thought it was about [these](http://www.plantplaces.com/photos/aesculusflavabuckeyes100807%28Small%29.JPG). ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/198 "2015-03-02T04:03:53Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Wait, she was talking about the candy? All this time, I thought it was about [these](http://www.plantplaces.com/photos/aesculusflavabuckeyes100807%28Small%29.JPG). That’s where the candy got it’s name. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/199 "2015-03-02T05:09:40Z")
So you’re saying we repeat jokes ad nausem and get nowhere? As though being on a treadmill? For about 20 minutes? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2015, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/200 "2015-03-02T05:23:24Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Not really a joke but stupid saying-- Assume. “If you assume, you make an ass of “u” and “me”.” > [@August\_West](#): > > This one has always bothered me for a different reason. Why does it make an ass out of **me**? I didn’t assume anything, you did, keep me out of it! I was told it as “if we assume”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664.md?page=11)