# Jokes that just need to DIE ALREADY **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664 "2015-02-26T15:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/21 "2015-02-26T16:06:03Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > I thought it was the water. I KNOW it was the water. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/22 "2015-02-26T16:06:24Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > IRL, the joke of Chinese food = stray cats needs to be retired. What a stupid, senseless, racist joke. And besides, stray cats are the best tasting ones! ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/23 "2015-02-26T16:06:34Z")
If we can just let this thread go idle, then revive it some ways down the road, and someone can chime in with a zombie ‘joke’, we can achieve some sort of meta/Möbius self-referential ideal. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/24 "2015-02-26T16:10:38Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > Fucking fish puns. I don’t know why people here are so hooked on them. We do it for the halibut. It’s our sole reason for posting. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/25 "2015-02-26T16:11:50Z")
That stupid banana bird joke. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/26 "2015-02-26T16:14:22Z")
Well, there are 10 kinds of people. . . ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/27 "2015-02-26T16:14:28Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Haha, wow, \*\*WOOKINPANUB \*\*got 5 replies in 4 minutes. > [@Anaamika](#): > > Boy I’m glad I thought not to answer! … Yeah, ENOUGH ALREADY! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/28 "2015-02-26T16:16:26Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > And besides, stray cats are the best tasting ones! To appeal to the tree-huggers, we try to call them “free range.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/29 "2015-02-26T16:21:19Z")
All the variations\_every last one of them\_ of “-splaining” make me want to punch the user full hard in the taint. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/30 "2015-02-26T16:21:47Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Thanks all for ‘splainin’. I can confidently swear that I will never use that joke (she said as she dropped a handful of dirt into the open grave). That’s what SHE said. ---
**Author:** ![Kiber](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiber/32/317_2.png) [@Kiber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiber)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/31 "2015-02-26T16:33:29Z")
I’d love to wave a magic wand and make the following go away: 1. Any joke regarding Al Gore claiming to invent the internet, and 2. Any reference to cold weather followed by some version of “must be global warming”. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/32 "2015-02-26T16:36:34Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > I KNOW it was the water. See, Dihydrogen Monoxide is dangerous! ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/33 "2015-02-26T16:42:52Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > All the variations\_every last one of them\_ of “-splaining” make me want to punch the user full hard in the taint. :eek::eek::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/34 "2015-02-26T16:47:19Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > “Mexican food gives you diarrhea”. No, it doesn’t - and I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a joke about how Mexicans are dirty, or a joke about how Americans have weak digestion, but it’s just not funny either way. Get it right. It’s Taco Bell. But that should not be confused with Mexican food. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/35 "2015-02-26T16:56:35Z")
Humanities degree = job at McDonald’s ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/36 "2015-02-26T16:58:15Z")
I just smoked marijuana. Now I’m really hungry! ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/37 "2015-02-26T16:59:12Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > [Facts About Dihydrogen Monoxide](http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html) > > And in case you still don’t get it > > [Dihydrogen monoxide parody - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dihydrogen_monoxide_hoax) > > For the record I still thinks its cute, but then again I’m trying to pretend it’s still the 90’s and I’m still in my early 20’s. What is this “pretend” of which you speak? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/38 "2015-02-26T17:00:15Z")
> [@Haunted\_Pasta](#): > > I just smoked marijuana. Now I’m really hungry! I laughed. Then I got high. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/39 "2015-02-26T17:04:47Z")
> [@Kiber](#): > > Any reference to cold weather followed by some version of “must be global warming”. Yeah, even the world’s biggest moron could mastermind that joke. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/40 "2015-02-26T17:08:24Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I laughed. Then I got high. You got that backwards. You high or something? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664.md?page=3)