# Jokes that just need to DIE ALREADY **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 26, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664 "2015-02-26T15:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/141 "2015-02-27T14:45:16Z")
And what’s the deal with airline peanuts? I mean, who are we trying to keep out of these things? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/142 "2015-02-27T14:45:18Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > But Chinese doesn’t have xs and ys; it has a bunch of idiograms (sp?) that are really difficult to remember and pronounce. With those as your variables, of course the algebra is going to be hard. True, but technically, the issue is the language, not the arithmetic - if someone writes “五加五等於十,” then someone who doesn’t read Chinese wouldn’t get it, but “五加五等於十” simply means “five plus five equals ten.” (I know, I’m being pedantic.) ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/143 "2015-02-27T14:52:29Z")
In other words, someone who didn’t know English would say “Five plus five equals ten” (in English) is so hard to read. American/English arithmetic is so hard!" ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/144 "2015-02-27T15:02:31Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > Curiously, I know nothing of The Princess Bride. Yes, you do; you just don’t know the source of the quotes. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/145 "2015-02-27T15:12:55Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Yes, you do; you just don’t know the source of the quotes. Correct answer fail. 😉 > [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > Curiously, I know nothing of The Princess Bride. Inconceivable! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/146 "2015-02-27T15:13:10Z")
> [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](#): > > Curiously, I know nothing of The Princess Bride. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/147 "2015-02-27T15:15:04Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I’ve got to say, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen “Hi, Opal” in the wild, so to speak. I’ve seen WAY more references to how annoying it is. I saw one in the wild just last week. I’m not going to go look for it though. And you’ll have to pry “that’s what she said” from my cold, dead hands. That never gets old. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/148 "2015-02-27T15:41:38Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I saw one in the wild just last week. pics or it didn’t happen ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/149 "2015-02-27T15:43:48Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > pics or it didn’t happen That’s what SHE said. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/150 "2015-02-27T15:46:42Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I saw one in the wild just last week. > > I’m not going to go look for it though. > > And you’ll have to pry “that’s what she said” from my **cold, dead hands**. That never gets old. 🙂 That’s what she said. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/151 "2015-02-27T16:44:30Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > That’s what she said. That’s what SHE said, suggestively, making us think of sexual intercourse! ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/152 "2015-02-27T16:47:52Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Flying Spaghetti Monster and the like (pastafarians, putting Jedi as your religion on official forms, etc) > > No using it doesn’t make you funny or witty, it only shows that you’re a hateful anti religion jerk. So I should go back to writing, “None of your goddamn business!” on forms? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/153 "2015-02-27T16:50:27Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Think of the loveliest piece of music ever written. Now imagine it being played constantly by a global orchestra of tone-deaf kazoo players. Imagine the horror each time you hear the first notes, knowing that a cacophony of torture will inevitably follow. Oh. Like “Hip Hop”. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/154 "2015-02-27T16:53:03Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Why then the phrase, " I’m harder than Chinese algebra"? [Tom Waits.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH51fbzXg_E) (1:38 in video) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/155 "2015-02-27T16:59:16Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > So I should go back to writing, “None of your goddamn business!” on forms? The Church of Noybah? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/156 "2015-02-27T17:11:46Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > [Tom Waits.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH51fbzXg_E) (1:38 in video) Yep, Ole Tom is who I think of when I use the phrase. 😉 That, and “I’m so horny the crack o’ dawn better watch out”. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/157 "2015-02-27T17:26:48Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > 😕 Never in my life heard the latter except in a [song](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Istanbul_(Not_Constantinople)), not a joke. Not a joke, as in a joke with a punch line. But, _every single fucking time_ someone mentions Byzantium or Constantinople or Istanbul in a thread, for any reason, we suffer through ten posts of snippets from the song lyrics, and **it isn’t funny any more**. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/158 "2015-02-27T18:01:13Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > So I should go back to writing, “None of your goddamn business!” on forms? That’s nobody’s business but the Turks. ( **Freddy the Pig** am I doing it right? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![phantom\_lamb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@phantom\_lamb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phantom_lamb)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/159 "2015-02-27T18:25:46Z")
The punch lines of a lot of internet jokes that are by now done to DEATH. Leonardo DiCaprio not getting an Oscar. T Rex having small arms. Indestructible old Nokia phones. etc. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664/160 "2015-02-27T18:36:15Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I like the “Hi, Opal” joke… Opal herself actually hated it, and wished people would stop using it. Most of the in-jokes here have been done to death, “once for 20 minutes”, “1920s death rays”, etc. And the whole “zombies” things. Dopers are pretty damned good at never letting a joke die off, long after its time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-just-need-to-die-already/713664.md?page=9)