# Jokes that take time to sink in **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 1, 2005, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519 "2005-12-01T04:56:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/201 "2016-03-04T01:33:03Z")
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop. The guy who overdosed on horse pills? He’s in stable condition. How’s the guy who was in the car crash and lost his whole left side? He’s alright now. ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/202 "2016-03-04T12:26:01Z")
There was an accident at the water slide park this weekend. Apparently someone went down the slide with a knife in their pocket. The knife came out and cut off the big toe of the person behind them. The ambulance refused to come, saying it was out of their jurisdiction. But everything is okay now, they called a tow truck. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/203 "2016-03-04T12:39:31Z")
I see that we’re including “jokes that your brain pretends it didn’t hear.” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2016, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/204 "2016-03-04T13:40:40Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > (plastic surgeon could create a dong that would render him “well hung”. I once described a guy as “hung like a witch as Salem.” One person got it about two minutes later, and then couldn’t stop laughing. Another person had to have it explained to her that no, no one was burned at the stake in Salem. I thought I’d hit on a really good one. I was so disappointed. Here’s one I didn’t make up, that sometimes takes time to sink in, and is hilarious when it does. Q: Why did the Siamese Twins move to London? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A: So the other one could drive. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2016, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/205 "2016-03-05T23:16:07Z")
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other one is a little lighter. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2016, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/206 "2016-03-06T13:28:28Z")
I heard that a couple weeks ago and it fell flat to me because a Zippo is fairly large as lighters go. At the very smallest it’s a medium lighter, and that’s if you include campfire/bbq lighters, otherwise I’d call it a large lighter. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/207 "2016-03-07T01:19:27Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > Some jokes take a moment or two to sink in, like: > > Joke Teller: \*Did you hear about that case of the diabetic patient with the gangrenous leg who’s inebriated surgeon amputated the wrong leg? > \* > Joke recipient : _No, what happened?_ > > Joke Teller: _Well, the poor fellow’s other leg eventually fell off. He sued the surgeon for malpractice, but the case was thrown out of court._ > > Joke recipient: _…Why?_ > > Joke Teller: _The judge told him he didn’t have a leg to stand on._ > > Other jokes are even more obvious, but there’s always a couple people of dubious intellect who don’t get it right away, like: > > _Two guys are walking down the street when a one-eyed girl with a parrot on her shoulder passes by. The one guy say’s to the other, “that gal’s a real humdinger.”_ > > It always amazes when those mental midgets actually admit it took them a while to get the joke, or even more embarrassingly, that they didn’t get it at all! :rolleyes: Absolutely true story: In Holetown, Barbados, there is a row of stores, gifts, clothes,… called Chattel Village. One of the stores has a chalkboard outside on which they post ads, jokes, whatever. Almost exactly one year ago, they posted: “Oscar Pistorius doesn’t have a leg to stand on”. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/208 "2016-03-07T01:35:10Z")
When the ark landed, Noah told the critters to go forth and multiply. Two snakes seemed confused and said “we can’t, we’re adders.” I have found there are two types befuddled by this. Some think “Why can’t adders reproduce?” because they know adders are snakes. Others think “OK, why can these snakes only add?” since they don’t know there are snakes called adders. For a good time, say you have a good knock knock joke, but someone else has to start it. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/209 "2016-03-07T01:42:17Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? > > One is very heavy, the other one is a little lighter. > mmm > [@Ludovic](#): > > I heard that a couple weeks ago and it fell flat to me because a Zippo is fairly large as lighters go. At the very smallest it’s a medium lighter, and that’s if you include campfire/bbq lighters, otherwise I’d call it a large lighter. Of course there was the riddle from “Batman.” (Yeah, I know. Riddle =/= joke.) Three men are in a boat. They want to have a smoke. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. How can they smoke their cigarettes? They throw one of their cigarettes overboard and make the boat a cigarette lighter. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/210 "2016-03-07T01:44:33Z")
There was a car dealership in town with a gigantic static cling pink ribbon in the window, and below it, the banner, “Support breast cancer.” I immediately was appalled, but a few people I pointed it out to had to have it explained to them what was wrong with it. Most people did not, though, just a few. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/211 "2016-03-07T02:38:53Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > This one REALLY needs to be told out loud. > > The three brothers had at last been given the ranch by their father, who was growing too old to run it. So they built a new barn, ran wire around additional pasture land, and installed a state-of-the-art holding pen for the cattle to fatten them for slaughter. > > With all these changes, they decided the ranch needed a new name. So they asked their father for advice. > > He thought about it all day, and finally told them, “You should call it Focus.” > > “Focus?!” they said. “What kind of name is Focus?” > > “Simple,” he answered. “It’s where the sun’s rays meet.” While this thread is reanimated, I figured I’d respond to this. This joke, like a lot of pun jokes, works better in print if you spell out the pun. “Simple,” he answered. “It’s where the sons raise meat.” ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/212 "2016-03-07T03:14:52Z")
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2016, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/213 "2016-03-07T03:42:01Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > While this thread is reanimated, I figured I’d respond to this. This joke, like a lot of pun jokes, works better in print if you spell out the pun. > > “Simple,” he answered. “It’s where the sons raise meat.” By “works better,” do you mean, “sinks in faster”? Because check the thread title :). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/214 "2016-03-08T02:12:07Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > While this thread is reanimated, I figured I’d respond to this. This joke, like a lot of pun jokes, works better in print if you spell out the pun. > > “Simple,” he answered. “It’s where the sons raise meat.” I answered this in a spoiler in the first rising of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/215 "2016-03-08T02:16:24Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > I answered this in a spoiler in the first rising of this thread. Yep. Post 123 ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/216 "2016-03-08T11:49:44Z")
A patient with a bandage wrapped around his ankle knocks on a neurologist’s door. “The nurse couldn’t tell whether I should see you or the psychiatrist,” the patient says. “What seems to be the problem?” The doctor gestures him to sit down. “I have an extremely bad headache.” The patient rubs his forehead. “Then why is the bandage wrapped around your ankle?” The doctor asks. “It slipped down,” the patient replies. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/217 "2016-03-08T16:52:20Z")
It took me a long time before I got this classic line from HHGTTG: Ford: “It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.” Arthur: “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” Ford: “You ask a glass of water.” ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2016, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/218 "2016-03-08T18:56:40Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#): > > When the ark landed, Noah told the critters to go forth and multiply. Two snakes seemed confused and said “we can’t, we’re adders.” > > I have found there are two types befuddled by this. Some think “Why can’t adders reproduce?” because they know adders are snakes. Others think “OK, why can these snakes only add?” since they don’t know there are snakes called adders. I have a liking for the follow-on to this joke: some while after, Noah takes a tour of inspection, checking up on how his ex-passengers are doing. He finds the adders denned-up among a number of felled-and-trimmed tree trunks, with a satisfying number of baby adders slithering around the place. He says, “I see you’ve figured out the multiplying thing – good work.” “That’s right, Mr. Noah,” say the adders. “In the end, we used logs.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2016, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/219 "2016-03-09T03:49:49Z")
> [@PlaceboTarget](#): > > A patient with a bandage wrapped around his ankle knocks on a neurologist’s door. > > “The nurse couldn’t tell whether I should see you or the psychiatrist,” the patient says. > > “What seems to be the problem?” The doctor gestures him to sit down. > > “I have an extremely bad headache.” The patient rubs his forehead. > > “Then why is the bandage wrapped around your ankle?” The doctor asks. > > “It slipped down,” the patient replies. Don’t get this one. > [@sciurophobic](#): > > It took me a long time before I got this classic line from HHGTTG: > > Ford: “It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.” > Arthur: “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” > Ford: “You ask a glass of water.” Don’t get this one either. Even more annoying, I don’t get what HHGTTG stand for. mmm ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2016, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519/220 "2016-03-09T04:03:50Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Don’t get this one. > > Don’t get this one either. > > Even more annoying, I don’t get what HHGTTG stand for. > mmm For the second one, HHGTTG stands for Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. And if a glass of water could talk, it would say it’s very unpleasant to have been drunk. As in past tense of drink [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-that-take-time-to-sink-in/333519.md?page=12)