All of these jokes are juvenile, tasteless and generally disgusting, but they are all as stupidly funny as they ever used to be. Is there one, That’s just not funny anymore now, pal, besides Washington right now? I’m trying to think of one, but, as Ted Kennedy once said, I’ll, uh, drive off that bridge when I come to it.
Ba-dump!
A song I recall from Grade 4 or so… (tune is “Jesus Loves Me”)
Khrushchev loves me this I know
For the Kremlin tells me so
Little ones who love him not
All lined up against the wall and shot.
Reagan to John Hinkley: “You are pardoned. BTW, Mondale is fucking Jodie Foster.”
What do you call a goat with no legs in the water?
What do you call a dog with no legs on the floor?
Girl with one leg?
Japanese girl with one leg?
Guy with no arms/legs on the front doorstep?
Guy nailed to the wall?
Father of that guy?
Guy with no arms/legs in pile of leaves?
Guy with no legs?
Two girls with no arms/legs on beach?
Guy with no arms/legs in hot water?
What do you call a goat with no legs in the water? BILLY BOB
What do you call a dog with no legs on the floor? DON’T CALL HIM ANYTHING, HE CAN’T COME TO BE PETTED ANYWAY
Girl with one leg? EILEEN (I LEAN)
Japanese girl with one leg? IRENE
Guy with no arms/legs on the front doorstep? MATT
Guy nailed to the wall? ART
Father of that guy? POP ART
Guy with no arms/legs in pile of leaves? RUSSELL
Guy with no legs? NEIL
Two girls with no arms/legs on beach? SANDY, SHELLY
Guy with no arms/legs in hot water? STU
Another “Khrushchevised” kids’ rhyme; I recall this one from some sixty years ago.
I love little Nikki,
His smile is so warm;
And if I don’t hurt him
He’ll do me no harm.
So I’ll not pull his hair,
Nor send U2s his way;
And Nikki and I
Very quietly will play.
We’ll sit side by side,
And we neither shall move;
And Nikki will love me –
But what will that prove?
A girl with no arms or legs you play cribbage with.
Peg.
Why no dead baby jokes yet?
Because they’re exactly as (un)funny today as they were in the past. Read the thread title.
Yeah, a number of posters are missing the point of the thread. It’s not about stupid or offensive jokes, it’s about topical jokes that were funny in the immediate aftermath of an event, but aren’t anymore because the event is no longer current.* (Rather than “It’s too soon,” it’s "It’s too late.) It’s also about jokes that are no longer considered funny because of changing societal attitudes. So the “no arms and no legs” jokes don’t fit.
*Except this one. It’s still funny: “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?”
Some haven’t completely lost their notoriety since WW2:
(tune is “Colonel Bogey”)
Hitler has only got one ball
Göring has two but very small
Himmler is rather sim’lar
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all
(tune is “Land of Hope and Glory”)
Land of soap and water,
Hitler’s having a bath.
Churchill’s looking through the keyhole,
Having a jolly good laugh.
I don’t get this. I suppose it’s that the jury was apparently dumb enough to acquit an an obvious murderer — so, they must have been dumb enough to not know who OJ was? To me, this is wrong and confused many levels, even within the confines of the joke itself: it confuses “lack of knowledge” with “inability to make a logical judgment” — and that’s not even getting into how, if someone was hoping for an “impartial” (and factually correct) verdict, picking someone who didn’t recognize OJ as a potential symbol for all of black America would have been a good thing.
But, as I said, more fundamentally it equates “ignorance of popular culture” with “poor evaluation of evidence.” These are such different things for me, the joke doesn’t work at all — even setting aside what we all know about the context for what appeared to be poor evaluation.
Or am I missing something?
No, I think you’re way overthinking this: the joke clearly dates from before the trial, and the point is that finding twelve people who haven’t already heard about the case is going to be nearly impossible.
Ah, thank you! Makes sense.
Here’s a very local one that only worked if you were from New York City. (Apologies if it’s somewhat non-PC. It’s of historical interest, as well as being a triple pun.)
Donald Manes was Borough President of Queens. In 1986 he was accused of corruption and ended up committing suicide.
The joke:
Q. What did Henry VIII, Rock Hudson, and Donald Manes have in common?
A. They all screwed Queens.
At least two things.
In the first place, OJ was acquitted because the police and the prosecution did a very sloppy job. Every major piece of evidence had a hole in it. The jury was SMART enough to recognise that there was reasonable doubt. Yes, he was *probably *guilty, but it wasn’t proved to a legal standard.
As for the joke, the jury was forbidden to hear any information about the evidence from external sources. Any slight suggestion that they had done so and they were dismissed. During the course of the trial, several jurors were dismissed, and were replaced from a pool of alternate jurors, who heard the same evidence. So basically, if you haven’t heard the news about the trial, you are eligible to be on the jury.
Oh, and as for jokes that used to be funny:
What’s the difference between USA and UK?
USA has Ronald Reagan, Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Stevie Wonder.
UK has Margaret Thatcher, no jobs, no cash, no hope, and no wonder.
In the late 70s, a friend from the UK told me a joke about a British politician named Jeremy Thorpe, who had been involved in a sex scandal with a guy called Norman Scott.
The joke [imagine this with a British accent]: What do Jeremy Thorpe and Captain Kirk have in common? They both “beam up” Scotty.
I didn’t tell my friend that Kirk never beamed up Scotty—it was the other way around. Anyway, it’s safe to say that this joke is decades past its sell-by date.
It was a bit more than a sex scandal. He was accused of conspiracy to commit murder. (and acquitted)
And thisis a joke most people today won’t understand.
Might have been a joke after WWII
What is brown and lies in the attic?
The diarrhea of Anne Frank.
This joke is so tasteless it is only the 2nd time I have repeated it.
Why don’t Cubans win golden medals in swimming at the Olympic Games?
All the really good Cuban swimmers are in Florida.
I still laughed.