# Jokes the average person wouldn't get... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631 "2003-03-27T22:42:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Palve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Palve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palve)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/1 "2003-03-27T22:42:26Z")
Have any jokes that so esoteric that most people would simply not get them (not counting inside jokes between a few friends)? I’ll submit a few: How do Indians measure Pakistani resistance in Kashmir? _In "om"s!_ How do you keep a computer programmer in the shower for a few hours? _Tell him to rinse and repeat!_ And [this page](http://mercury.ccil.org/~cowan/essential.html) had me crying with laughter… ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/2 "2003-03-27T22:47:12Z")
Why do programmers keep getting Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25 ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/3 "2003-03-27T22:51:15Z")
**Linty** , my SO dropped that one on me the other day. He had to explain it. I didn’t laugh. So that’s definitely a good one! ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/4 "2003-03-27T22:57:05Z")
Math joke: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a plum? Elephant plum sine theta. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a mountain climber? You can’t; a mountain climber is a scaler. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/5 "2003-03-27T23:04:26Z")
Hey **Palve** , good to see you back. **Linty Fresh** : terrific username, very funny joke. Welcome to the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Becky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@Becky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/6 "2003-03-27T23:08:39Z")
'Nother math joke: Wal-mart is a mark-off chain. ---
**Author:** ![djwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@djwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djwalker)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/7 "2003-03-27T23:10:43Z")
Maslow and Piaget are walking down the street, and pass by a bar. Maslow says “Man I need a drink”. Piaget says “No it’s too early”. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/8 "2003-03-27T23:11:03Z")
chess jokes: 1. two Antarctic scientists are playing postal chess via dog sled. One doesn’t hear anything for a while and gets worried. Then a dog sled rushes up. The message: ‘j’adoube’ 2.‘fianchettoed queen’s bishop in algebraic’ or not ‘fianchettoed queen’s bishop in algebraic’, that is the question :eek: ---
**Author:** ![djwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@djwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djwalker)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/9 "2003-03-27T23:13:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glee \* > \*\*chess jokes: > > 1. two Antarctic scientists are playing postal chess via dog sled. One doesn’t hear anything for a while and gets worried. > Then a dog sled rushes up. > The message: > ‘j’adoube’ > > 2.‘fianchettoed queen’s bishop in algebraic’ or not ‘fianchettoed queen’s bishop in algebraic’, that is the question :eek: \*\* Hey I got that! Does that mean I’m above average, or merely a nerd? 😃 Very funny! ---
**Author:** ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/10 "2003-03-27T23:19:16Z")
So Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, Renee! Care for a beer?” Descartes replies, “I think not.” And he vanishes! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/11 "2003-03-27T23:20:51Z")
Have you heard my Goethe impression: “Take my soul, please.” ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/12 "2003-03-27T23:21:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by djwalker \* > \*\*Hey I got that! Does that mean I’m above average, or merely a nerd? 😃 > > Very funny! \*\* if you got both, you’re a chess player! Of course chess players are above average (and pretty nerdy too!) ---
**Author:** ![djwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8edcca/32.png) [@djwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djwalker)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/13 "2003-03-27T23:27:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glee \* > \*\*if you got both, you’re a chess player! > > Of course chess players are above average (and pretty nerdy too!) \*\* However, I’m clearly a below-average chess player 🙂 I’m a good chess teacher though. I’m so good I get beat by 4th and 5th graders on a fairly regular basis. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/14 "2003-03-27T23:29:08Z")
A friend and I were sitting in an outdoor cafe, and he was making a reference to a nearby hedge. The conversation then turned to how one distinguishes between a hedge and a bush, to which I replied “hedges have edges, and bushes are round…”. We both thought it was clever (and, strangely, hilarious) at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/15 "2003-03-27T23:45:09Z")
“How many surrealist does it take to change a light bulb?” “The fish” ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/16 "2003-03-27T23:53:38Z")
_Semper ubi sub ubi._ ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/17 "2003-03-28T00:08:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bup \* > \*\*Math joke: > > You can’t; a mountain climber is a scaler. \*\* What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? You can’t cross a scalar and a vector. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/18 "2003-03-28T00:16:24Z")
A soapmaker’s one-liner: I’m not overweight, I’m just superfatted to 30%. Oh man, that just cracks me up… ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/19 "2003-03-28T00:29:07Z")
Another one for the computer geeks: Q: What’s the difference between impressionism and realism? A: Bigger pixels And one for the classics majors, my favorite Literary Elephant Joke ™: Q: What was big and grey and was the father of Alexandar the Great? A: Phillip of Mastodon you see, Alexander the Great’s father was Phillip of Macedon… ---
**Author:** ![Severian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Severian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Severian)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/20 "2003-03-28T00:45:23Z")
The Great Flood is over and Noah’s ark has settled into dry earth. Noah tells the animals to “Go forth and multiply!”. A few months later while Noah is taking a walk he notices that all the animals have babies save one pair of small snakes. The snakes say to Noah, “Please, cut down some trees for us.” Noah cuts down a couple trees and goes back home wondering why the snakes made such a strange request. A couple weeks later his curiosity gets the better of him and he goes out to find the snakes with lots of little baby snakes. “What happened?” asks Noah. “We’re adders,” the snakes say. “So we need logs to multiply.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631.md?page=2)