# Jokes the average person wouldn't get... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 27, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631 "2003-03-27T22:42:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Adridne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ccd318/32.png) [@Adridne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adridne)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/81 "2003-03-28T20:18:46Z")
Why is ETC equipment so popular? Because everything they release is open Source4. I will be extremely surprised if anyone gets that. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/82 "2003-03-28T20:29:27Z")
This is sad, but my only contribution is from _The Simpsons_: > [@](#): > > Teacher: So y = r^3/3. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. … Don’t you get it, Bart? Derivative dy = 3 r^2 / 3, or r^2 dr, or rdrr. Har-de-har-har, get it? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/83 "2003-03-28T20:42:36Z")
> [@](#): > > An American businessman goes into negotiations with a German company. The company sends over a representative, who speaks no English. The American businessman speaks no German. So he hires an interpreter. The conference goes smoothly, until the interpreter stops as the German is still speaking. > > The American gets impatient, and asks the interpreter, “Why aren’t you translating?” > > The interpreter answers, “I’m waiting for the verb.”\* > > [ba-da-BING] > > - – For the German-impaired, the syntax of German is such that the verb often comes last in a sentence. And Germans love long sentences. One of my favorite Mark Twain quotes (from **A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court** , surprisingly): “Once the literary German dives into a sentences, that’s the last you see of him until he emerges from the other side of the Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/84 "2003-03-28T21:04:51Z")
One for the Latinists, courtesy of Flann O’Brien. Quid dixit Vergilius? “Exegi monumentum aere per Aeneas.” Cracks me up every time, that one. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/85 "2003-03-28T21:26:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Adridne \* > \*\*Why is ETC equipment so popular? > Because everything they release is open Source4. > > I will be extremely surprised if anyone gets that. \*\* Ahhh, theatre humor. The only problem is I’m working in a theatre that has all ETC equipment and a few Source4’s and I still have no idea what you’re talking about. :smack: I’m so embarrassed I can’t even remember the joke I was going to post. ---
**Author:** ![Lost\_In\_Reality](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Lost\_In\_Reality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lost_In_Reality)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/86 "2003-03-28T22:55:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Q: What did the zen master say to the hotdog vendor? > A: Make me one with everything. And the classic followup: The Zen Master gives a twenty to the vendor. Zen Master: Where is my change? Vendor: Change comes from within. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/87 "2003-03-28T23:32:15Z")
I can’t believe no one has yet offered up this oldie but goodie: Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? To get to the same side. ---
**Author:** ![Gumbercules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gumbercules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gumbercules)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/88 "2003-03-29T01:42:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by norinew \* > \*\*I can’t believe no one has yet offered up this oldie but goodie: Why did the chicken cross the moebius strip? > > To get to the same side. \*\* Bwahahaha! That’s the ONLY one of these jokes that made me laugh out loud. Well done! ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/89 "2003-03-29T02:49:09Z")
I’m feeling incredibly average… _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/90 "2003-03-29T03:03:39Z")
We have a call in home work help show every week night here on GT campus and one night someone called in while a girl named Holly was on the show. She gets all kinds of cat calls from the guys in the dorm. Not because she’s hot, but because they can. In any case, one day a guy calls in and asks her to solve “Beta u pi times the antiderivative of e to the x.” ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/91 "2003-03-29T03:05:00Z")
Oh yes and “Semper Ubi Sub Ubi” a latin oldie. ---
**Author:** ![MentalGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/439d5e/32.png) [@MentalGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MentalGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/92 "2003-03-29T03:28:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ianzin \* > \*\*This is a very funny joke, but only if you’re a magician. If you know any magicians, just tell them this and I guarantee they’ll laugh. > > Q. Have you seen the four new Alex Elmsley videos? > > A. Well I didn’t see the third one, but I saw the first one twice. > > Just trust me. And no, I can’t reveal why it’s funny.\*\* Good going ianzin. You made me laugh with that one. ---
**Author:** ![Palve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Palve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palve)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/93 "2003-03-29T04:06:30Z")
How does a Frenchman express his hunger in two letters? Ga. Good luck trying to get it. Of course, you have to know a little French… ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_s\_Company](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@Misery\_s\_Company](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_s_Company)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/94 "2003-03-29T05:20:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soup\_du\_jour \* > \*\*So Descartes walks into a bar. > > The bartender says, “Hey, Renee! Care for a beer?” > > Descartes replies, “I think not.” > > And he vanishes! :eek: \*\* I told this joke to my not so smart step sister. She replied, “Is Descartes a dancer or something?” I just looked at her and thought to myself…OUCH… As for somewhat off jokes… How can you tell you are kissing a French Horn player? They stick their hand up your butt. ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/95 "2003-03-29T05:33:21Z")
I used to play french horn and the version I heard was “Why do women love french horn players?” “They know just how to hold the woman.” ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/96 "2003-03-29T07:28:10Z")
The other day, I logged out of cyberspace, walked outside, and got hit by a truck. Luckily, I was in a doubly-nested login loop. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/97 "2003-03-30T23:25:33Z")
Almost every time I tell these I have to explain them, be forewarned they are \*\* really \*\*bad. Three guys walk into a bar and the fourth one ducked. Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods? and A termite walks into a bar and says “hey, is the bar tender here?” Feel free to groan loudly and hurl heavy objects in my general direction ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/98 "2003-03-31T04:50:50Z")
The following is the ONLY joke my wife tells Q-Why did DeGaulle get the Nobel Peace Prize? A-Because France is the only Arab country not at war. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/99 "2003-03-31T05:26:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Meros \* > \*\*Almost every time I tell these I have to explain them, be forewarned they are \*\* really \*\*bad. > > Three guys walk into a bar and the fourth one ducked. > > Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods? > > and > > A termite walks into a bar and says “hey, is the bar tender here?” > > Feel free to groan loudly and hurl heavy objects in my general direction \*\* I got all three amd promptly forgot my own! :smack: Damn, this desk is HEAVY… thunk! Oh, yeah!.. Three guys were in a car and, of course, it broke down in the middle of nowhere. One guy was an Electrical Enginer, so he checked out all the wires and sparkplugs, to no avail. The second guy, the one with the degree in Chemics, had a look at the gas, oil and transmission fluid. He struck out too. The third guy? Well, he worked at Microsoft. He just closed all the windows and opened them again! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Mook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Mr.Mook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Mook)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631/100 "2003-03-31T06:00:36Z")
1. Baby seal walks into a club… 2. Q: What’s the difference between a dead accordionist in the road and a dead snake in the road? A: The snake was probably on his way to a gig. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-the-average-person-wouldnt-get/164631.md?page=6)