# Jonathan Sharkey For President? **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [August 5, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551 "2011-08-05T04:40:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/1 "2011-08-05T04:40:20Z")
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon\_Sharkey](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon_Sharkey) > [@](#): > > Political positions > > Sharkey has described politics as “a cut-throat business”.[4] He has described his policy on crime as follows: “Certain criminals, instead of being put in jail, they should be brutally tortured and impaled…Upon them being found guilty of their crimes I’ll beat them, torture them, dismember them and decapitate them.” [8] In an appearance on Tucker Carlson’s television show, he agreed with the host’s description of him as “not simply a vampire, [but] a right-wing vampire” and said his policy for dealing with drug dealers is to “go to Sicilian families and have them attack the drug dealers for me”.[9] > > Sharkey strongly criticized President George W. Bush, whom he described as a “wuss” and a communist who was responsible for the deaths of innocent Americans in Saudi Arabia and Iraq. He has expressed a desire to try, and convict, and impale Bush, [9] and has since stated that “Obama is even worse than Bush, and I never thought anyone could be worse than Bush. He has no idea how to run a country, nor should he be running a country.”[11] > > Sharkey once served on the Hillsborough County, Florida Republican Party’s Executive Committee. A. J. Matthews, who also serves on the committee, has described Sharkey as someone who believes in “Republican values” but said that Sharkey needs to focus on campaign issues rather than “extreme behaviors”.[12] > > Sharkey says that he will ban abortion and the teaching of evolution in public schools. On other social issues, he leans libertarian; he supports equal rights for gays. He opposes President Obama’s health care reform and would replace it with a plan of his own in which the poor would receive free medical and dental care; the expenses would be paid with government taxes on marijuana and prostitution, which Sharkey supports legalizing and regulating. On foreign policy, he wishes to bring American troops home from foreign war zones. [11] Interesting… people should keep an open mind, ---
**Author:** ![Foggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foggy/32/1082_2.png) [@Foggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foggy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/2 "2011-08-05T04:48:30Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon\_Sharkey](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon_Sharkey) > Interesting… people should keep an open mind, …but not so open that your fucking brain falls out! ETA: OK I clicked the link, this is some sort of joke right? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/3 "2011-08-05T05:49:14Z")
He looks like a cross between Gene Simmons and Ron Jeremy! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/4 "2011-08-05T05:49:49Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Interesting… people should keep an open mind, :rolleyes: No, at the point that someone talks about torturing and impaling people I think they disqualify themselves from deserving to be in charge of anything, much less the country. And banning abortion is monstrously evil, while banning the teaching of evolution is ignorant and stupid. It’s also rather stupid to think that taxes on marijuana and prostitution would be able to pay for medical care. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/5 "2011-08-05T05:55:35Z")
The guy is an embarrassment to pro wrestling. And that’s not easy to achieve. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/6 "2011-08-05T06:59:35Z")
The man is a self-proclaimed vampire. And we’re discussing whether his views on public education make him unfit for office? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/7 "2011-08-05T08:07:21Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The man is a self-proclaimed vampire. And we’re discussing whether his views on public education make him unfit for office? Well, if Dick Cheney can be Vice President then being Evil aligned undead clearly isn’t enough to disqualify you from holding office in America. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/8 "2011-08-05T14:13:54Z")
**Qin Shi Huangdi** , please tell us what _you_ think of Sharkey’s positions. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/9 "2011-08-05T15:34:39Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Well, if Dick Cheney can be Vice President then being Evil aligned undead clearly isn’t enough to disqualify you from holding office in America. 😃 Boy, those Republicans are really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Next Great White Hope: Cthulhu! (He/She/It\* is\* some sort of ghastly pale color, isn’t he/she/it?) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/10 "2011-08-05T16:04:43Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Well, if Dick Cheney can be Vice President then being Evil aligned undead clearly isn’t enough to disqualify you from holding office in America. 😃 I said vampires aren’t fit for office. Liches are different. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/11 "2011-08-05T16:08:25Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon\_Sharkey](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathon_Sharkey) > Interesting… people should keep an open mind, People who tell you that you should keep an open mind invariably want to pour garbage into it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/12 "2011-08-05T17:00:58Z")
I was going to make a joke about “not after what he did to the Shire”. Except that it looks like this dude’s (whoever he is) only prior political experience _is_ at the shire level. Is there any reason at all we should pay any attention whatsoever to this guy? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/13 "2011-08-05T17:44:24Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Is there any reason at all we should pay any attention whatsoever to this guy? Because \*\*Qin Shi Huangdi \*\*is compelling us to? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/14 "2011-08-05T18:28:15Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > > [@Chronos](#): > > > > Is there any reason at all we should pay any attention whatsoever to this guy? > > Because \*\*Qin Shi Huangdi \*\*is compelling us to? [Fathers Merrin, Karras, and Marley23] The Power of Qin Shi Huangdi compels you! The Power of Qin Shi Huangdi compels you! The Power of Qin Shi Huangdi compels you! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/15 "2011-08-05T18:46:43Z")
He’s better than Michelle Bachmann. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/16 "2011-08-05T18:53:51Z")
For crissakes, **Qin** , the guy drinks blood. I don’t think I’d want this guy making any decisions that involve the FDA. (Maybe he believes in some kind of vampire creation story?) ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/17 "2011-08-05T19:19:08Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Gene Simmons and Ron Jeremy! Now there’s a ticket that more sense than the OP’s candidate! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/18 "2011-08-05T21:56:48Z")
I hear Sharkey has an excellent political machine behind him. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/19 "2011-08-05T22:47:27Z")
He could have [Basil Marceaux](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basil_Marceaux) as his running mate. Now THAT would be entertaining! And since Marceaux only has three teeth, Sharkey could hook him up with someone who could replace them with fangs? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551/20 "2011-08-05T23:54:14Z")
I think this might be the latest example of the Malcolm X factor. Back when Martin Luther King was leading the civil rights movement, he used to say how Malcolm X indirectly helped him. Because Malcolm X was so scary he made King look like the safe alternative. People who would have rejected King by himself, supported him as an alternative to Malcolm X. In terms of Presidential races look at Pat Buchanan. In 1992 when Bush was running against Dukakis, the Republicans needed somebody radical to make Bush look safer. So Buchanan mounted a primary challenge against Bush. That made Buchanan the dangerous right-winger and Bush the moderate conservative. Buchanan, in turn, wanted somebody to make him look like the safe candidate. So David Duke stepped in. Duke became the dangerous right-wing guy and Buchanan became the safe right-wing alternative. Happens on the left too. If you’re running for President and you’re worried you’re looking too liberal, you see if you can get Jerry Brown or Ralph Nader or Dennis Kucinich in the race. They become the left-wing fringe candidate and you become the safe alternative. But this Presidential campaign we’ve had people like Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, Rick Santorum, and Michele Bachmann dangled before us as supposedly serious candidates. The Republicans have to stretch to find somebody who will look like the crazy guy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jonathan-sharkey-for-president/591551.md?page=2)