# Joseph Reyes: stalwart hero or just fucking with his ex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [February 17, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309 "2010-02-17T07:21:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/1 "2010-02-17T07:21:26Z")
[Story here](http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/divorce-battle-joseph-reyes-faces-jail-baptizing-daughter-church/story?id=9845919). I’ll paraphrase: Mr. Reyes and his estranged wife are engaged in bitter divorce proceedings. The soon-to-be-former-Mrs. Reyes is Jewish. Mr. Reyes converted to Judaism during the course of the couple’s relationship, a conversion he now claims was not “voluntary”. > [@](#): > > When the marriage fell apart, Rebecca Reyes, 34, got custody of their daughter. The girl, now 3, has been raised Jewish and attended a Jewish preschool. > > Her father decided to baptize his daughter without consulting his wife. > > Joseph Reyes sent his wife pictures and an e-mail documenting the occasion. Rebecca Reyes responded by filing for the temporary restraining order, which the judge granted. And then Mr. Reyes, in either an O’Reilly-esque move to paint himself (and his religion) as the victim OR in a move destined to leave him typing /facepalm on his mental keyboard forevermore, defied the court order by taking the girl to church again, this time alerting the media that he was doing so. > [@](#): > > “Going to church, I don’t think I violated the order,” he told “Good Morning America.” “In terms of Judaism, based on the information I was given, Catholicism falls right under the umbrella of Judaism.” > [@](#): > > In a YouTube video of the subsequent visit to church, Joseph Reyes says, “I am taking her to hear the teachings of perhaps the most prominent Jewish rabbi in the history of this great planet of ours.” Lawyer for the soon-to-be-ex says > [@](#): > > Lake, Rebecca Reyes’ attorney, said Joseph Reyes had never been a particularly devout Christian. > > “This was just something that he knew was going to have a negative effect on [Rebecca Reyes], and I think that’s why he did it,” Lake said, speaking of Reyes’ church visits with the little girl. > > “I think he was just trying to exert some power,” Lake said. And lastly, Mr. Reyes testifying in his own defense: > [@](#): > > Explaining his conversion, he said, “I did it because, one, my mother- and father-in-law would not accept me any other way and two, because they would not accept me, it was putting a lot of burden on the marriage.” > > While he acknowledged that his actions – flouting the court order and involving the media – didn’t help to end the conflict, he said he has to take a stand. > > “I’ve made every concession that I possibly can make for Rebecca, and I have to draw the line in the sand somewhere and this is where I choose to draw it,” he said. [youtube news story](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ufzg2NPAx_U) My $.02: Joseph Reyes is a spineless asshole. He couldn’t stand up to his wife or to her parents, and now he’s using right-wing talking points and his own daughter in an attempt to both inflate his own ego and finally feel like he’s winning something. I might have given the guy the benefit of the doubt, but alerting the media before he took her to church, after having her baptised without her mother’s consent (or knowledge), seals it for me. This guy isn’t a brave man defending a principle; he’s a schmuck who is (metaphorically) calling his dad to help him because he can’t get it done by himself. He’s invoked the court of public opinion because he was losing in the court of law. It’s not sad that the country has come to this, Mr. Reyes; it’s sad that _you_ have come to this. And the worst part of it is that he is using his daughter like a tool to bludgeon his estranged wife. Yeah, I’m sure that’s something that your “Jesus” would do, Mr. Reyes. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/2 "2010-02-17T07:53:33Z")
The guy is an idiot. Actually, they both are. Bottom line is that he violated a court order, so now he has to play the price. The real shame here is that both parents feel religious indoctrination for a 3-year old is ok. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/3 "2010-02-17T08:02:41Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > The guy is an idiot. Actually, they both are. Bottom line is that he violated a court order, so now he has to play the price. The real shame here is that both parents feel religious indoctrination for a 3-year old is ok. New plan: Judgement of Solomon. “That’s it, your daughter is being raised an atheist!” _cue simultaneous screams of horror_ ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/4 "2010-02-17T12:59:39Z")
As a devout Catholic, I must side with Mr. Reyes. Nah, just kidding. The custodial parent gets to decide things like religious upbringing. And baptism is a sacrament, not a weapon to be used against your soon-to-be-ex-wife. If I had to guess, I’d say Reyes’ embrace of Catholicism is self-serving and completely bogus, but even if it’s genuine and heartfelt, he has no right to force his non-custodial daughter to participate in his religious tradition. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/5 "2010-02-17T13:02:05Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > As a devout Catholic, I must side with Mr. Reyes. > > Nah, just kidding. > > The custodial parent gets to decide things like religious upbringing. And baptism is a sacrament, not a weapon to be used against your soon-to-be-ex-wife. If I had to guess, I’d say Reyes’ embrace of Catholicism is self-serving and completely bogus, but even if it’s genuine and heartfelt, he has no right to force his non-custodial daughter to participate in his religious tradition. As a devout Protestant, ditto to the last paragraph. ---
**Author:** ![Laudenum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Laudenum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laudenum)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/6 "2010-02-17T13:09:02Z")
It seems weird to me that a judge would make an order forbidding a child from being baptised. I’m surprised he isn’t playing up the Veteren angle more. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/7 "2010-02-17T13:41:00Z")
Really, the whole religious angle is just so much petty noise in a standard divorce dispute. So many times when a couple split, one or the other or both act up against their former soulmate. Judges try to keep them in line but some people JUST CAN"T HELP THEMSELVES. They turn into obstreperous infants and become destructive. It’s a real shame when there are kids involved because they frequently become collateral damage. This looks like a classic case. The fact that this moron is trying to conflate the whole thing into a religious battle for the ages is just sad. Yes, he’s roped the media into airing his dirty laundry, which is a shame. But it’s really just him acting out. I prescribe extra strength chill pills, two a day for the next month, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/8 "2010-02-17T13:45:28Z")
Geez, why doesn’t he just pick up the little girl and beat his ex-wife with the child. It is what he is doing anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/9 "2010-02-17T14:21:12Z")
This story would be far more interesting if one of the combatants was Muslim. Then it would be front page, top of the fold on Fox ‘News’ and we’d get the real story about which one was truly evil. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/10 "2010-02-17T16:36:46Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > Geez, why doesn’t he just pick up the little girl and beat his ex-wife with the child. It is what he is doing anyway. Probably for the same reason the ex-wife doesn’t pick up the child and beat him with her. Same thing. They’re both idiots. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/11 "2010-02-17T17:01:11Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > Probably for the same reason the ex-wife doesn’t pick up the child and beat him with her. Same thing. They’re both idiots. Don’t agree, on the facts as stated. Seems a straight-up case of the non-custodial parent messing with the custodial parent, for shits and giggles. How does that make the custodial parent an idiot? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/12 "2010-02-17T18:13:34Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > … and now he’s using right-wing talking points… Right wing talking points ? Can’t see it. He looks left wing to me, with the baby face, long hair, and cultured facial hair. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/13 "2010-02-17T18:31:46Z")
> [@The Flying Dutchman](#): > > He looks left wing to me, with the baby face, long hair, and cultured facial hair. “Long hair”? Um, how old are you, **Dutch**? Both the idea that collar-length hair counts as “long” for men and the idea that long hair on men is an ideological marker for leftists seem rather old-fashioned to me. Right-wing fundamentalist Christians may still oppose boys and men having long hair, but are conservatives in general still upset by it? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/14 "2010-02-17T18:44:27Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > “Long hair”? Um, how old are you, **Dutch**? > > Both the idea that collar-length hair counts as “long” for men and the idea that long hair on men is an ideological marker for leftists seem rather old-fashioned to me. Right-wing fundamentalist Christians may still oppose boys and men having long hair, but are conservatives in general still upset by it? Yes. Cut your damn hair, ya hippie. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/15 "2010-02-17T20:27:30Z")
Here’s some food for thought: The child might not actually be baptized. In the eyes of the Catholic church, one of the requisite elements of baptism is that the one doing the baptizing have a sincere intent to perform a baptism. It sounds, though, like this fellow just had a sincere intent to piss off the kid’s mother. Meanwhile, if Christianity is just a kind of Judaism, then how can he claim that he involuntarily converted to Judaism? By the standard he’s trying to apply, he was a Jew all along. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/16 "2010-02-17T22:36:48Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > The custodial parent gets to decide things like religious upbringing. Apparently this is the law, but I don’t think it should be. The religious upbringing should be based on the upbringing that the kid had during the marriage, unless both parents agree to the change. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/17 "2010-02-18T00:26:23Z")
Agree with the OP. This guy’s a douchebag trying to use his daughter as a weapon against his ex. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/18 "2010-02-18T00:33:07Z")
That sounds nice in theory but in practise given how many marriages break up over religious differences as part of the deal it just wouldnt be workable. You’d end up with stealth churchgoing, and court cases galore as well as court cases being brought because the child wasnt being taken often enough or the like. Someone has to lose and the most obvious person to lose is the non custodial parent. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/19 "2010-02-18T01:11:20Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Here’s some food for thought: The child might not actually be baptized. In the eyes of the Catholic church, one of the requisite elements of baptism is that the one doing the baptizing have a sincere intent to perform a baptism. It sounds, though, like this fellow just had a sincere intent to piss off the kid’s mother. But if the actual baptism was performed by a priest or deacon, as woulld normally be the case at a Catholic baptism, then this theory doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309/20 "2010-02-18T02:15:42Z")
Maybe he’s hoping [the Pope will kidnap](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgardo_Mortara)the girl and raise her in Vatican City. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/joseph-reyes-stalwart-hero-or-just-fucking-with-his-ex/529309.md?page=2)