# Judging someone for the words they say in their sleep **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981 "2016-12-06T01:11:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/1 "2016-12-06T01:11:57Z")
So, an odd question, which is frivolous enough that the mods can move it to MPSIMS if they see fit: Would you judge someone based off of words that they say in their sleep? (No, this is not meant to be a thread about myself, haha, although I’ve certainly said odd things in my sleep before.) “Judge” isn’t quite the word I’m looking for, but, basically, would your opinion of someone be influenced or changed by something they mumbled while asleep? So, for instance, you overhear a friend of yours saying things like _“Obama is an [N-word]”_ or other such things while asleep. I would guess that a lot of the debate may center on whether what someone says under such circumstances jibes with how they really feel inside, along with their previous (awake) behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/2 "2016-12-06T01:13:06Z")
Bummer, a typo in the thread title. Going to ask a mod to fix it. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/3 "2016-12-06T01:22:12Z")
Thread title edited. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/4 "2016-12-06T01:35:25Z")
This is like the threads on things people say when they are drunk. How do you know they’re saying things they think or feel or repeating things they heard? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/5 "2016-12-06T01:42:00Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > Thread title edited. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/6 "2016-12-06T01:42:48Z")
No just like I wouldn’t judge someone who has Tourette’s who was having a verbal tick and saying something horrible, or an old lady with Alzheimer’s who starts saying racist stuff. To me it just isn’t fair to do so, there is so much crap in the average person’s brain, so much media they’ve been exposed to, so many books read, and a lot of it I’m sure is just total awful garbage and they aren’t in control of what is coming out. I think I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/7 "2016-12-06T04:03:28Z")
Something like “Must Kill All Humans…” Nah, I wouldn’t sweat it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/8 "2016-12-06T04:30:56Z")
I think it depends to a large degree on what they say, specifically. If, for example, a SO starts speaking (unexpectedly) fluently in Japanese, when you never even knew he/she spoke it, you might feel lied to. A lie of omission, yes, but a lie nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/9 "2016-12-06T04:34:41Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I think it depends to a large degree on what they say, specifically. If, for example, a SO starts speaking (unexpectedly) fluently in Japanese, when you never even knew he/she spoke it, you might feel lied to. A lie of omission, yes, but a lie nonetheless. This reminds me for the second time in a few days of the late lamented Tommy Cooper: > [@](#): > > Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou. But I think it’s Colin. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/10 "2016-12-06T04:40:59Z")
LOL! I just watched Barney Miller and everyone was in quarantine and Harris was talking in his sleep ! It was funny seeing your thread . My dog talk in his sleep a lot ,I hope he not calling me bad words ! ---
**Author:** ![Dickerman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@Dickerman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dickerman)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/11 "2016-12-06T05:32:37Z")
My wife judges me for things I (apparently) say when she’s asleep (in her dreams). It’s a bit annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/12 "2016-12-06T14:57:14Z")
> [@Dickerman](#): > > My wife judges me for things I (apparently) say when she’s asleep (in her dreams). It’s a bit annoying. Glad to know I’m not the only one. My wife’s DreamOmar is a bit of a rogue. He’s cheated on her, treats her rudely, isn’t good with the kids, etc. Real Omar, me, has to pay the price. Very confusing. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/13 "2016-12-06T15:05:18Z")
> [@Dickerman](#): > > My wife judges me for things I (apparently) say when she’s asleep (in her dreams). It’s a bit annoying. I told my wife early on that I’m not responsible for what I say in her dreams. So now I can sneak into them without worry. (BTW, those guys in _Inception_ were amateurs.) ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2016, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/14 "2016-12-06T22:17:55Z")
> [@Dickerman](#): > > My wife judges me for things I (apparently) say when she’s asleep (in her dreams). I had a girlfriend who did this. It wasn’t always easy to gracefully deal with being held responsible for things I had nothing to do with. After several fraught episodes, I asked her whether I ever did any nice things in her dreams: “Oh yes, sure, that happens a lot. But I expect that from you, so I don’t feel they need to be mentioned. I’m really concerned only with the times you’re a problem.” ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/15 "2016-12-07T00:42:34Z")
Once while the three of us shared a hotel room, my sleeping mother said, “Lieutenant, close the refrigerator!” and sleeping me replied, “Sir, yes, sir!” My awake sister thought it was funnier than hell. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/16 "2016-12-07T02:24:28Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > … Would you judge someone based off of words that they say in their sleep? > … Oh! I have been transported back to the '80’s. The Romantics! The Humanity! [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/JmGMzyajA2U/maxresdefault.jpg "The Romantics - Talking in Your Sleep") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmGMzyajA2U) ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2016, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/17 "2016-12-07T02:53:04Z")
No, because some of the stuff that has gone on in my dreams is prime psycho wild crazyness I have no idea where it came from. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/18 "2016-12-08T18:54:56Z")
One time, I heard my partner say, “Cannibalism, mmm hmm.” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2016, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judging-someone-for-the-words-they-say-in-their-sleep/773981/19 "2016-12-08T20:34:44Z")
Nah, it’s stupid to be upset by a sleeping person uttering random things produced by the subconscious. I remember my ex-wife being upset with me because I said something about “Joan” in my sleep. When I woke up, she glared at me and said “So who is Joan!?” My response was a confused “Joan who?” It went downhill from there.