# judgmental woman **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 23, 2004, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220 "2004-11-23T02:59:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![pastorjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90db22/32.png) [@pastorjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pastorjc)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/41 "2004-11-24T14:12:19Z")
My bad, ETF not TFT! Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![pastorjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90db22/32.png) [@pastorjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pastorjc)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/42 "2004-11-24T14:15:04Z")
ETF - let Vanilla answer your question about how I found out this post was here. Do you think God woke me up in the middle of the night and said “Go to [StraigtDope.com](http://StraigtDope.com) and look for a post from someone named Vanilla!”? I have got better things to do. See ya! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/43 "2004-11-24T14:16:24Z")
> [@pastorjc](#): > > TFT, thanks for judging me (jerk) without knowing me. Wait a sec, a Christian pastor is supposed to set an example. Luke 6:27-28 says, " But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, enemies. Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you." Calling people “jerk” and trading insult for insult is acting in the ways of the flesh, not as a child of God and even less as a leader of God’s people. ---
**Author:** ![pastorjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90db22/32.png) [@pastorjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pastorjc)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/44 "2004-11-24T14:19:26Z")
GoBear you are completely right! Thanks for the scripture reference. ETF - please accept my apology. Unfortunately pastors are human also and we let things get under our skin as well. Gotta go! ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/45 "2004-11-24T14:19:40Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Calling people “jerk” and trading insult for insult is acting in the ways of the flesh, not as a child of God and even less as a leader of God’s people. Eh? I didn’t think he was calling her a jerk, but rather identified what she’d done that judged him (namely, called him a “jerk”). ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/46 "2004-11-24T14:20:13Z")
**ETF** , it’s entirely possible that this guy is a poser pretending to be a pastor, but it is also entirely consistent with **Vanilla** ’s personality that she would send a link to this board in an e-mail to her pastor, and it is possible that he would reply. Of course, I’m having doubts about his _bona fides_. Still, I intend to regard his posts as genuine until proven otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/47 "2004-11-24T14:20:46Z")
Look at it this way, **gobear** : if I’m right, the jerk is obvious. If I’m wrong, the source of the elder’s attitude is obvious. Man, I love these win-win denouements! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/48 "2004-11-24T14:21:00Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Eh? I didn’t think he was calling her a jerk, but rather identified what she’d done that judged him (namely, called him a “jerk”). Nevermind. I guess he _was_ calling her a jerk. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/49 "2004-11-24T14:23:15Z")
> [@Metacom](#): > > Eh? I didn’t think he was calling her a jerk, but rather identified what she’d done that judged him (namely, called him a “jerk”). That was my first reading too – although it was actually **Caricci** who called him a jerk. Meh. I’ll wait for **V** to come back and clear up the matter. And that was some fancy Scripture-quotin’, **gobear**! Well played. ---
**Author:** ![pastorjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90db22/32.png) [@pastorjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pastorjc)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/50 "2004-11-24T14:28:17Z")
Folks - I love a good debate just a much as anybody. I did not call anyone a jerk, I don’t think it is fair to call someone a name without knowing them. that is why posts like this are very subjective to a persons attitude, beliefs, feelings etc… Link to our church website to find out if I am who I say I am [www.lakeridgechurch.com](http://www.lakeridgechurch.com) My final post on this subject. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/51 "2004-11-24T14:29:12Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Wait a sec, a Christian pastor is supposed to set an example. Luke 6:27-28 says, " > But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, > enemies. Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you." > > Calling people “jerk” and trading insult for insult is acting in the ways of the flesh, not as a child of God and even less as a leader of God’s people. **gobear** - I didn’t interpret our guests remark that way, rather that they were saying “thanks for judging me (by calling me a jerk)” only omitting the underlined part. Not that I can’t see your interpretation, but that wasn’t my first thought. I would, however, assume there’s two sides to the story. If I were giving rides, (routinely and for how long??) to someone to say, work or school **and** to social events after, and they opted out of the work/school part but still wanted to go to the social event, I’d have thoughts about that as well. WOuld I express them? no, but I’d opt to not give the ride, as these folks did. and **vanilla** , it is indeed possible to be **both** working **and** struggling. quite a few people are in that boat. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/52 "2004-11-24T14:30:31Z")
Thanks, **Gyrate**. Contrary to what some folks might think about me as an elitist atheist who can’t talk “values” with a straight face, Bible study and Scripture discussions are home territory for a Bible Belt baby like me. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/53 "2004-11-24T14:35:28Z")
**Wring** , that is certainly entirely possible. I have no conviction that my interpretation was necessarily correct, just my gut impression. I hope **Pastorjc** joins up. It would be nifty to have a fundamentalist on the board who can discuss religion with some education and authority. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/54 "2004-11-24T14:51:53Z")
> [@pastorjc](#): > > My final post on this subject. Good. ---
**Author:** ![Spree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Spree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spree)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/55 "2004-11-24T15:57:35Z")
> [@pastorjc](#): > > As a pastor I am disturbed that a church member would go to a bulletin board and post responses without doing the right thing of taking care of the situation one on one with the other person(Matthew 18). This is a matter that needs to handled between the two parties involved using biblical principles. > > There are always two sides to a story. > > Pastor Jeff Considering that you’re a pastor, and supposed to set an example for your congregation, I am disturbed that you would come to a bulletin board and post reponses without doing the right thing of taking care of the situation one on one with the other person (Matthew 18)…particularly after chastising one of your church members for doing the exact same thing. **Vanilla** (and, Pastor, I think it’s very, very bad form to identify a poster by her given name if it’s not the name she uses online. We use screen names for a reason.) came to this bulletin board to talk among friends about a situation that hurt her feelings. She did this without naming names or identifying churches (you did that all on your own). I think that is a GOOD thing, and it disturbs me that an institution or its representative would frown on such activities. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/56 "2004-11-24T16:23:24Z")
Wait just a minute here. The SDMB should be involved in this mess…_why_? This is an issue between **vanilla** and her church. Period. And it’s going to stay that way. **vanilla** , you know better than this. You have a problem with somebody? Take it up with them, but leave us out it. This is locked. TVeblen Pit mod ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220/57 "2004-11-25T07:44:16Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > I did e mail the pastor last night, I will await his reply. > > Believe me, if the elder didn’t want her to say this, she wouldn’t have, wives must be submissive in this church. And if you had kept this little bit of business between yourself and your pastor, or better yet, the people you have a true grievance with, how much better this situation would be. If you had kept your complaints to this board and not invited in other parties to your unhappiness for a asswhuppin, that would have been okay too; the Pit’s a place to vent. It is NOT a place to drag other people in from the outside to jack them around because you are displeased with them. It’s a classic bit of mind gaming: “Let’s you and him fight.” You set that pastor up to be ambushed here on the board. This is despicable behavior and I am horrified not only that you did it, but that you used our board to do so. I’m even more horrified that our folks here on the board obliged you in this little game and proceeded to whomp up on that man. You might disagree with what he espouses, who he is, what he does, but he was invited here by vanilla for . . . well, it looks very much to me he was invited mostly to get his ass kicked. He didn’t volunteer for this; he had no idea of the trap he was walking into. Vanilla, you ought to be ashamed. This is so unchristian. Jesus wept, lady. **You will not use this board and our members as a tool to hit other people.** Therefore, vanilla, you are suspended from this board for at least a month and quite possibly quite longer than that . . . a hell of a lot longer than that. your humble TubaDiva Administrator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/judgmental-woman/276220.md?page=2)