# July is the longest month for mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 1, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957 "2015-07-01T15:05:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/301 "2015-07-17T19:02:02Z")
I pit the buttheads at the good local TV station (GLTVS), which is a CBS affiliate, and the cable company. Apparently the cable company’s contract with the GLTVS expired on July 14 and they can no longer carry it until a new contract is negotiated. According to the cable company, the GLTVS is asking 3 times what the previous contract was while the GLTVS is saying they aren’t asking as much as the cable company is paying other stations. I’m sure the truth is somewhere in between but I wish they would get it figured out. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/302 "2015-07-17T19:26:28Z")
Ugh. Just had to unfollow someone on Facebook, someone I consider a really nice friend, because this is the second time he’s posted stupid utter crap defending absolute pseudoscientific bullshit. It’s taken all that I have not to post a nasty reply to his garbage pro-homeopathy posts about how homeopathy is absolute stupid fucking useless trash. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/303 "2015-07-17T22:18:08Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > In the past 2-3 years, I’ve bought approximately 3.21^24 spoons. We currently own about 6. I’m pretty sure that the little girls throw them into the trash can when I’m not looking. Someday, when they’ve grown up and moved out, you’ll move one of their beds and discover a perfect scale model of the Sydney Opera House, done in spoons. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/304 "2015-07-17T23:44:57Z")
I’ll pit myself. Today was the first day I’ve had off work in almost a month, and what do I do? I forget to turn off my damned alarm clock the night before. I was going to “sleep in”, but, no, there went my alarm, at 4:00AM. Oh yes, I shut it off and tried to go back to sleep, but it was no good. By 5:30 I realized that it wasn’t happening, and dragged my ass out of bed. Bleh. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/305 "2015-07-18T00:50:39Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > Where the FUCK is my CUTLERY?! I just unloaded my dishwasher and I seem to be missing some spoons too. I live alone. My cat hasn’t sprouted opposable thumbs that I’m aware of. Where the hell did my spoons go? Must be a cutlery gnome or something. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/306 "2015-07-18T02:36:06Z")
> [@Toxgoddess](#): > > I posted this earlier, apparently unnoticed. Found out in the last couple days uncle has pancreatic cancer which has spread to the brain, father’s initial neurological diagnosis indicates dementia, cousin has breast cancer in both breasts and refused masectomy. Friend’s biopsy went well but no results yet. Somebody please call me and tell me about someone who isn’t dying. I am so sorry. Cancer just sucks. > [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > One possibility: Announce a contest, to deal with _The Mystery of the Vanished Spoons_… This is pure genius! > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Just got a call from my surgeon’s office this morning. It seems that the small patch of ringworm on the back of my left thigh is enough to have the surgeon cancel my right hip replacement that had been scheduled for next Monday. While I do understand why they don’t want to risk infection, this just bites. You have everything set up and scheduled. > [@LavenderBlue](#): > > My poor sweet eldest child is in pain from her new braces. She’s sitting my lap and moaning softly. Frick. If it helps her feel better, I was in my middle 30’s when I got my braces and I did a lot of moaning as well. Ice packs and aspirin kinda helped. It gets better. > [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > I just unloaded my dishwasher and I seem to be missing some spoons too. I live alone. My cat hasn’t sprouted opposable thumbs that I’m aware of. Where the hell did my spoons go? Must be a cutlery gnome or something. If y’all were missing forks, I’d know where they went. SG can be really sneaky when it comes to forks. I need to hire another minion. My current minion is going back to school full-time. I have only myself to blame for this because I encouraged him and helped him find grants and a part-time job to accommodate his classes. I hate interviewing people. Why did I do this to myself? I sure don’t think things through sometimes. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/307 "2015-07-18T02:53:09Z")
Our local power company has a peregrine falcon nesting box, and cameras inside and outside the box. This year two falcons were hatched and raised, and the company asked for suggestions for naming them. Quite a few names were recieved. I liked my sister’s submission best, Horus and Sekr, names of two Egyptian falcon headed gods. Well, the company allowed it’s employees to vote on the suggested names. Seriously, if you were a wild raptor, a bird of prey, would you like to be named **Fred** and **Ethel**? Because that’s what these two birds will be registered as. As one of the author O. Henry’s characters said, “it’s something of a nomenclatural tin can on the tail of one’s self respect.” ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/308 "2015-07-18T03:32:06Z")
My mini thing that’s more perplexed than ranty today, probably not worth a thread. I went into work on my day off to pick up meds for one of my cats and to pick up an Amazon package. This day of the week, on which I’m not normally there (ever if I can help it) is also Pet Food Pantry day. I’ve never thought much of it one way or the other, people have problems and need help feeding their pets, it’s part of what we’re here for. I used the washroom before leaving, as I was meeting a friend for a walking excursion and didn’t know when I would have one available again. I used the last of the TP and normally there are a few rolls plus extra paper towels in a little wall rack for replenishing. It was all out. Weird. I went to the kitchen to ask my Caretaker friend where extra rolls were as it was all gone, and she explained that on Pantry days they have to remove all the extra stuff from the bathroom because it all disappears throughout the day. Toilet paper rolls, paper towel rolls, lotion and soap all get stolen, and more than once if it’s replaced. I never knew - I’ve been here since 2003. I don’t know what to make of it. The food we give out is donated (though we have supplemented in the past with purchased food when donations ran too low for demand, hasn’t happened much), so take all you need (I mean, it’s rationed, Pantry clients have to be approved and on the list, but we reliably give two weeks worth for every pet in the house for as long as needed, the life of the pet if that’s how long they come). Our cost in that case is employee time to help the clients and repackage donations throughout the week. But the bathroom supplies we have to purchase, it’s not like people are taking stuff that was otherwise donated. Unless they rationalize that all our income is donated, therefore everything we purchase is donated too?? ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/309 "2015-07-18T03:34:58Z")
Miniest mini-rant ever: I wish to god that people would stop referring to St. Louis as “The Lou.” It sounds douchey and my kids keep asking me why the city is advertising things to do in the toilet (“Things to Do in The Lou!”). Stop. Fucking. Calling it. The Lou. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/310 "2015-07-18T03:37:58Z")
My husband is a fucking idiot. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/311 "2015-07-18T03:47:00Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > My husband is a fucking idiot. > That is all. Anything out of the ordinary, or just that talent husbands have for tapdancing on their wives’ last nerve? (offers chocolate) ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/312 "2015-07-18T06:40:45Z")
I have to be out the door in four hours for dialysis, I know I should be sleeping. Unfortunately, Mother Nature decided to grace us with one hell of a storm within the past couple of hours. Trees are down, cars are flipped a few miles away, and last I heard there isn’t any power over by the dialysis center. ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/313 "2015-07-18T06:50:01Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > Where the FUCK is my CUTLERY?! > > Maybe six months ago I bought cutlery. Really pretty, solid, vintage-looking stainless-steel stuff. We’re not talking solid gold here, but every piece cost like 4 quid, and I bought four each of big forks, small forks, big spoons, small spoons, big knives and small knives - because our family is half grownups and half small kids - plus a dozen teaspoons. So I dropped a decent chunk of money on this cutlery, because I was planning on using it for a long time. > > All of a sudden we have three forks, three knives, four spoons and half a dozen teaspoons. > > Where the FUCK is the rest of it?! > > I asked the kids. The six-year-old swears she has no clue, and she’s an honest kid. The two-year-old said she hid them in the garden hedge, but when I asked her to show me where, she clearly had no idea, because she had made it up to make me happy. Plus we don’t have a garden hedge. Do you have a sandbox, or some place the kids like to dig? Spoons make good child-size shovels ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/314 "2015-07-18T06:53:04Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > My mini thing that’s more perplexed than ranty today, probably not worth a thread. > > I went into work on my day off to pick up meds for one of my cats and to pick up an Amazon package. This day of the week, on which I’m not normally there (ever if I can help it) is also Pet Food Pantry day. I’ve never thought much of it one way or the other, people have problems and need help feeding their pets, it’s part of what we’re here for. > > I used the washroom before leaving, as I was meeting a friend for a walking excursion and didn’t know when I would have one available again. I used the last of the TP and normally there are a few rolls plus extra paper towels in a little wall rack for replenishing. It was all out. Weird. I went to the kitchen to ask my Caretaker friend where extra rolls were as it was all gone, and she explained that on Pantry days they have to remove all the extra stuff from the bathroom because it all disappears throughout the day. Toilet paper rolls, paper towel rolls, lotion and soap all get stolen, and more than once if it’s replaced. I never knew - I’ve been here since 2003. > > I don’t know what to make of it. The food we give out is donated (though we have supplemented in the past with purchased food when donations ran too low for demand, hasn’t happened much), so take all you need (I mean, it’s rationed, Pantry clients have to be approved and on the list, but we reliably give two weeks worth for every pet in the house for as long as needed, the life of the pet if that’s how long they come). Our cost in that case is employee time to help the clients and repackage donations throughout the week. > > But the bathroom supplies we have to purchase, it’s not like people are taking stuff that was otherwise donated. Unless they rationalize that all our income is donated, therefore everything we purchase is donated too?? If they can’t pay for pet food they’re probably having trouble paying for all that other stuff, too. They will likely rationalize it any way they can. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/315 "2015-07-18T10:28:05Z")
All this talk about losing spoons. Have you guys been starting fights with Victorian gentlemen? [QUOTE=The Pickwick Papers] “Sawyer,” said the scorbutic youth in a loud voice. “Well, Noddy,” replied Mr. Bob Sawyer. “I should be very sorry, Sawyer,” said Mr. Noddy, “to create any unpleasantness at any friend’s table, and much less at yours, Sawyer–very; but I must take this opportunity of informing Mr. Gunter that he is no gentleman.” “And I should be very sorry, Sawyer, to create any disturbance in the street in which you reside,” said Mr. Gunter, “but I’m afraid I shall be under the necessity of alarming the neighbors by throwing the person who has just spoken out o’ window.” “What do you mean by that, sir?” inquired Mr. Noddy. “What I say, sir,” replied Mr. Gunter. “I shall like to see you do it, sir,” said Mr. Noddy. “You shall feel me do it in half a minute, sir,” replied Mr. Gunter. “I request that you’ll favor me with your card, sir,” said Mr. Noddy. “I’ll do nothing of the kind, sir,” replied Mr. Gunter. “Why not, sir?” inquired Mr. Noddy. “Because you’ll stick it up over your chimney-piece, and delude your visitors into the false belief that a gentleman has been in to see you, sir,” replied Mr. Gunter. “Sir, a friend of mine shall wait on you in the morning,” said Mr. Noddy. “Sir, I’m very much obliged to you for the caution, and I’ll leave particular directions with the servant to lock up the spoons,” replied Mr. Gunter. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/316 "2015-07-18T10:43:30Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Ugh. Just had to unfollow someone on Facebook, someone I consider a really nice friend, because this is the second time he’s posted stupid utter crap defending absolute pseudoscientific bullshit. It’s taken all that I have not to post a nasty reply to his garbage pro-homeopathy posts about how homeopathy is absolute stupid fucking useless trash. Personally, I’d post the reply THEN unfollow/defriend 😉 > [@overlyverbose](#): > > Miniest mini-rant ever: I wish to god that people would stop referring to St. Louis as “The Lou.” It sounds douchey and my kids keep asking me why the city is advertising things to do in the toilet (“Things to Do in The Lou!”). Stop. Fucking. Calling it. The Lou. It’s okay, according to a very accurate documentary I’ve seen on the SyFy channel, it’ll be known as Defiance in about 20 years 😃 (and don’t trust the Castis…) ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2015, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/317 "2015-07-18T11:28:47Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Personally, I’d post the reply THEN unfollow/defriend 😉 I was very tempted to do that, but I don’t want to unfriend him because I think he’s a good guy apart from all the stupid bullshit, and also, he’s someone I do run into in real life somewhat often, and I wouldn’t want things to get awkward during our real-life meetings. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/318 "2015-07-19T15:44:41Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Ugh. Just had to unfollow someone on Facebook, someone I consider a really nice friend, because this is the second time he’s posted stupid utter crap defending absolute pseudoscientific bullshit. It’s taken all that I have not to post a nasty reply to his garbage pro-homeopathy posts about how homeopathy is absolute stupid fucking useless trash. I’ll trade you. I’ll take the homeopathy woo over a friend’s hate. She’s otherwise a very nice, kind person, but the whole Caitlyn Jenner thing has her frothing at the mouth. I don’t get it at all. She says she’s “sick of reading about it”. I haven’t read anything about her in a couple weeks, but then I don’t go _looking_ for it at conservative websites… I’ve got to say something. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/319 "2015-07-19T17:59:50Z")
**SeaDragon** when I was volunteering at PetCo in AZ I noticed that they had chained the toilet brush to the wall. When I asked why, I was told that people kept stealing them. We went to see a stage performance of Hair last night. It was a great performance and we really enjoyed ourselves. BUT, not only was I the only one in the audience with a lighter (yes, I felt old), I remembered why butane lighters are not good for concerts. I have a nice blister on my thumb as a reminder. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2015, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/320 "2015-07-19T18:46:32Z")
EEEwwww. I can see the other stuff, but a dirty toilet brush - I can’t figure out if that’s the ultimate sad or, just depressing. Sadly depressing. There was a woman who used to come into the coffee shop I worked at a millennium ago, she would take the toilet paper and all the butter we set out for the bagel people. And the concert lighters - there’s an app for that! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957.md?page=17)