# July is the longest month for mini-rants
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 1, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957 "2015-07-01T15:05:03Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 24
### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/461 "2015-07-29T13:31:04Z")
Don’t give up hope, **Lavender**. I’ve had cats come back after missing for weeks.
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### Author:  [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/462 "2015-07-29T13:38:46Z")
My internet at home is acting all weird and I can’t find the problem. I’m beginning to think it’s hardware related, but it’s just a pain in the ass troubleshooting the network.
Hope you see your kitty soon, **LavenderBlue**. We had an escape artist who made it out overnight twice. Found him both times just lounging around the neighbourhood.
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/463 "2015-07-29T13:57:18Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> My darling cat is missing. I looked for him last night and I couldn’t find him. I put food out this morning and I still can’t find him. My cat. My sweet, funny, charming, silly, orange and white fuzzy that I brought home as a tiny kitten from a shelter when my big girl was only nine months old.
>
> ☹
:(☹
Hope he’s okay and comes home soon.
Maybe he got kitty-napped by a clowder of horny girl cats. And they’re havin’ their way with him. 🙂
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### Author:  [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/464 "2015-07-29T15:10:08Z")
My eldest found him. He was under the back deck all last night. He came out when she put out some dry food. Naughty boy. I hope he hasn’t picked up fleas damn it.
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### Author:  [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/465 "2015-07-29T15:24:23Z")
Yay! 🆒😃
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/466 "2015-07-29T15:31:59Z")
Maybe apply Advantage for a few months as cheap insurance?
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### Author:  [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/467 "2015-07-29T17:12:37Z")
> [@Wednesday\_Evening](#):
>
> So the husband emptied out 75% of the kitchen cabinets onto the kitchen floor so he could “see what we’re taking with us”. Then he picked out about 10% of the stuff on the floor to take with us. Then he put the 10% back in the cabinets and left all of the other stuff on the floor! Shouldn’t it be the other way around???
> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> Wow. Sounds like he REALLY NEEDS that sabbatical. Are you sure six months is going to be long enough?
After spending three years as department chair in a bureaucratic public university, yes, he really needs it! 6 months is the sweet spot for sabbaticals at his university - he will get about 85% of his salary for the year. If he is gone for a whole year it is only 50%. So hopefully 6 months will be enough.
I cooked dinner last night and spent about half of the time looking for pots and utensils because they were not where they were supposed to be! I have decided that he can cook dinner until we leave…
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### Author:  [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/468 "2015-07-29T17:25:26Z")
> [@Wednesday\_Evening](#):
>
> bureaucratic public university
Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
😃
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### Author:  [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/469 "2015-07-29T17:38:06Z")
> [@ENugent](#):
>
> This is the law in Washington state, as I understand it. Those supply lists are required to be “suggested,” and they’re not allowed to complain if you don’t send everything in. But the social pressure to do so is very high.
The school district I worked in was economically and socially very heterogeneous. It was already obvious enough that some kids had more than others, and we didn’t want to make it worse. The district even supplied book covers, rather than suggest that the students make covers from paper bags.
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/470 "2015-07-29T17:44:14Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> My eldest found him. He was under the back deck all last night. He came out when she put out some dry food. Naughty boy. I hope he hasn’t picked up fleas damn it.
Woohoo! I send him a kiss on the nosie.
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### Author:  [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/471 "2015-07-29T18:30:54Z")
If you don’t have a thyroid like me, your ability to discern temperature changes are probably just as wonky as mine. If it’s 90F outside, for instance, my body won’t register it other than “Oh, it’s warm out! I’ll go sit in the sun!” Which I do.
Then I come inside, drink a glass of ice water, and promptly feel like throwing up, never mind things coming out at the other end :eek:
I don’t really sweat. I might get a little glistening perspiration on my brow, but that’s it.
My husband then tells me to lie down because I look very hot and woozy. I have no idea what he’s talking about because I don’t feel it at all.
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### Author:  [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/472 "2015-07-29T18:58:46Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> Woohoo! I send him a kiss on the nosie.
His fuzzy [belly](https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=117431278363787&set=a.101528466620735.1364.100002907453111&type=3&theater) is equally kissable. My cat pillow!
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### Author:  [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/473 "2015-07-29T21:08:04Z")
Who is this “Ed,” of the “Ed Show” on MSNBC?
My wife has been watching a lot of this channel lately, and I am often in the room so I wind up “watching” it as well. The commentators range from okay to excellent, but this guy drags down the curve something fierce.
The other day, as an example, he was waxing eloquent about Bernie Sanders. Bernie, he pointed out approvingly, refuses to do any negative campaigning or negative advertising. Well, that’s great. But Sanders has no need to say anything negative whatever, Ed, because _you’re doing it it for him_. The entire show was much less about the glories of Sanders and much more about the horrors of Hillary. She did this, she won’t do that, she’s in the pocket of Wall Street, she’s beholden to Big Oil. The next day, he did it all over again.
Fine; Mr. Ed is welcome to his opinions, and I have no trouble with him bashing Clinton or talking up Sanders. (For the record, I support Clinton, but am under no illusions that she supports everything that IMHO she ought to support; politics doesn’t work that way.) But please choose:
Either
\*Praise Sanders, including his determination to stay above the fray, and model proper decorum and behavior by not going after his opponents on his behalf;
or
\*Slam Clinton all you want, but omit the pious pronouncements about no negative campaigning on Sanders’s part.
There are other examples of his eye-rolling behavior too, but this one stands out. Also, I’m getting older, my memory isn’t what it used to be, and this one was recent…
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### Author:  [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/474 "2015-07-29T21:25:35Z")
> [@MLS](#):
>
> The school district I worked in was economically and socially very heterogeneous. It was already obvious enough that some kids had more than others, and we didn’t want to make it worse. The district even supplied book covers, rather than suggest that the students make covers from paper bags.
Does anyone still make paper bag book covers? That was one of the best parts of the school year, crafting all the covers and then drawing all over them.
I’m feeling old. I had to explain to my nineteen-year-old co-worker what a Trapper Keeper was. I showed her some pictures on Google and she dissed the [Lisa Frank designs](https://www.google.com/search?q=trapper+keeper&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CDcQsARqFQoTCOTXhqqjgccCFUSGDQodvgUG5A&biw=1251&bih=964#tbm=isch&q=lisa+frank+trapper+keeper) that were hot shit in the early '90s. (Although I’ll admit that, like most of the early 90s, they were pretty hideous.)
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### Author:  [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/475 "2015-07-29T21:40:59Z")
> [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](#):
>
> Who is this “Ed,” of the “Ed Show” on MSNBC?
The left’s version of Rush Limbaugh. He was neither needed nor wanted.
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### Author:  [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2015, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/476 "2015-07-29T23:13:06Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#):
>
> 😕 What the hell kind of Nazi office you work at?
One that produces metric shit-tons of reports that have to contain “unalterable” materials – no pencil sketches, no calculations written in pencil, no notes in the margins in pencil, etc. Simply photocopying your pencil-written calculations for inclusion in the report is also frowned upon. On the rare occasion that an old drawing needs to be revised, and no one has the time to redraw it in AutoCAD, it’s OK to use a pencil. (My department still has one fully stocked drafting table!)
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### Author:  [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/477 "2015-07-30T00:23:11Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#):
>
> His fuzzy [belly](https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=117431278363787&set=a.101528466620735.1364.100002907453111&type=3&theater) is equally kissable. My cat pillow!
Somekitty needs tummy rubs. 🙂
Glad he got his furry backside back indoors safely.
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### Author:  [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/478 "2015-07-30T01:39:55Z")
> [@Catamount](#):
>
> The left’s version of Rush Limbaugh. He was neither needed nor wanted.
Thank you! Sounds about right to me.
(Tonight my wife changed the station to CNN when Ed came on. I applauded, silently.)
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/479 "2015-07-30T02:39:56Z")
As I write this, my cellphone is on hold for a Microsoft Technician. My laptop is not accepting the Windows 10 upgrade properly and I may have to do something with the partition… but oddly enough, I’m not complaining about that.
I mean, I know it will work; its a new laptop. I’m not complaining about having a cellphone connected on the desk in front of me… in speaker phone mode… so I can grab it when a tech picks up.
I’m not even complaining too much about the issue, because I know that its Go Live day at Microsoft for Widows 10.
I am complaining a LITTLE bit about the telephony on-hold system which does Not indicate how many minutes (or even hours) are anticipated approximately until a rep picks up the line or offering me an automatic call back.
I am complaining about the 2-3 sentences that they have playing on Endless Loop: **"So, Have You Heard About Windows 10…?"**
First of all, this is the Windows 10 prompt. Of Fucking Course I’ve heard of it, its Fucking why I’m on hold! Sure, the woman’s voice sounds engaging and personable in a way that, to be fair, does seem fun. The voice actor literally makes
you wish that you really could have a conversation with her… even though in real life, she’d have called security if you’d ever called her and waited on hold this long to speak with her.
Her voice just makes you want to speak… which is doubly frustrating because 1), you can’t and 2) no matter how personable she seems, she’s going to ask you “So, Have You Heard About Windows 10?” :smack:
Its simple, yet insidious branding… and as a phrase I can imagine it having a few uses. I actually PITY the next Jehovah’s Witnesses that come to my home trying to get me to read The Watch Tower now.
I fully plan to counter them with, “So, have you heard about Windows 10…? Ladies, You Better Be \*RIGHT \*WITH THE _LORD_ when Windows 10 is Installed as YOUR Personal Operating System!!!”
_ **Exit screaming JWs, stage right** _
I’m also reserving it as a conversation starter for those long, awkward car trips. “So, have you heard about Windows 10…?” I’m pretty sure that no matter who is driving, you Will get their attention.
Lastly, if the woman in my life ever, when the kids are out of the house, turns to me and says, “So, have you heard about Windows 10…”?
I Swear On My Bandwidth that I will rip open her case, suck every last byte of her old OS off her drives, and spend all of the rest of that day INSTALLING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER…!
Windows 10 WILL Ensue… 😉
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### Author:  [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/480 "2015-07-30T03:22:09Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#):
>
> I am complaining about the 2-3 sentences that they have playing on Endless Loop: **“So, Have You Heard About Windows 10…?”**
Ha! I had to reschedule a routine test at the local hospital today. All the representatives were busy, so I was on hold. Gone is the cheery muzak of yesteryear. Now you have some cheery-voiced woman extolling the many, many virtues of the hospital as if you were going to say to yourself “You know, I was _thinking_ about getting a colonoscopy and this sounds like a damned fine hospital at which to have it done! Maybe I should see about a hip replacement while I’m there – they have a state of the art facility, by gum!”.
Really, I only want a few precious things from hold music. I want it to not suck. I want the frequency of the cheery voiced “All representatives are busy, please wait!” to be less than every 30 goddamn seconds. And I don’t want to hear any fucking ads.
Not for hospitals, when I’m calling the hospital. Not for more ways that the cable company can funnel money out of my pocket when I’m calling the cable company. And I especially don’t want to hear “Have you tried solving your problem by going to our utterly useless web page?” Just play your bland, bland music so I can browse the web in peace while I wait.
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