# July is the longest month for mini-rants
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [July 1, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957 "2015-07-01T15:05:03Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 25
### Author:  [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/481 "2015-07-30T06:25:50Z")
I pit the a-hole, insensitive announcer that remarks how odd it is that a player that finds out mid-game he has been traded weeps while, oddly enough, is still on the field:
[![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD4-pELeM_8)
1. The Mets out of respect to the team they just made a deal with, should have pulled him from the game. But to a bigger point:
2. All we hear about pro athletes is all they care about is money, maybe this guy loved his teammates, maybe he loved playing for the Mets, maybe he felt insulted he was traded for something he felt was unworthy, who knows why he cried, but this was a moment where a player shows true emotion over leaving his team, and all this douche bag announcer can say is, “It seems odd.”
Hey, dickface, I hope YOU don’t think its odd if you get fired, or demoted to the third-awkward-guy-interviewing-fans and asking why their kids are wearing funny customs at the game. FUGUE-HUUUUK YOUUUUUUU :mad::mad::mad:
---
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/482 "2015-07-30T07:40:19Z")
> [@June (Rants) is Busting Out All Over](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/june-rants-is-busting-out-all-over/721331/45):
>
> I was being a lazy gardener last weekend, and took the strimmer to the front lawn (it’s tiny) rather than carry the lawnmower all the way through the house to mow it.
>
> The strimmer kept acting up, so after half an hour of unpicking excess cable it had decided to wind around its innards rather than actually cut grass, I gave up, took it back through the house to the shed in the back garden, and hauled the heavy lawnmower through the house like I should have in the first place.
>
> Before starting to mow, I cleared some debris off the lawn, including a metal spring, so it wouldn’t chew the mowers innards and chucked it in our general waste bin.
>
> It’s now the night before bin collection and I’ve realised why the strimmer cable kept unwinding and wrapping itself round the shaft annoyingly. It’s missing the spring that keeps it taut and in place.
>
> Anyone want to help me reach down to the bottom of a 5 foot tall dumpster style wheelie-bin, past two lawns worth of cuttings and a weeks worth of household rubbish to try and find this sodding spring?
So after ^last months mowing mishap^, I broke the lawnmower yesterday.
I was about a week overdue cutting the back lawn, thanks to constant rain, and some of it had got to about knee-height.[1] Which meant I didn’t see the hidden tree stump which is nearly-but-not-quite flush with the lawn, and the screw holding the blade in place sheared off when the mower hit the wood. Thankfully I’d mowed enough that the strimmer (fixed back in June after some SDMB inspired bin-raking) could finish it off, but in about a week when it all needs done again, I’m in trouble.
[1] There seem to be three separate types of grass in the back lawn, one of which is okay, one of which is probably crabgrass, but whatever, that doesn’t bother me - it’s the meadow type grass that shoots straight up aiming for the sun that bugs me. It’d all get ripped out and returfed in my dreams!
---
### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/483 "2015-07-30T07:53:54Z")
Depending on where you live\*, you can probably get a push mower for $50.
\*_Some developed countries seem to abandon perfectly good but obsolete technology rather too rapidly for my liking._
---
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/484 "2015-07-30T07:59:17Z")
Scotland, and I’m 6 months pregnant. Neighbours have stopped to tell me off for mowing the front lawn in my “delicate condition”, and that was with a [Flymo](http://www.flymo.com/uk/). I bet I’d get a lot more lecturing if they see me with a pushmower!
I suspect I’ll end up doing what every mature, responsible grown up woman does, and ask my Dad for help 😉
ETA Alternatively, they sell spares on the Flymo site, which I’d have known if I’d bother to check before mini-ranting!
> **[Flymo Blade Bolt Assembly](https://www.shop.flymo.co.uk/lawnmower/hover-grass-collect-mowers/blade-bolt-assembly/product.pl?pid=430882&path=600088,159031:638467)**
>
> Buy Flymo spares for your lawnmower. Authorised Flymo Dealer & Next Working Day Delivery available
---
### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/485 "2015-07-30T08:06:42Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#):
>
> Scotland, and I’m 6 months pregnant. Neighbours have stopped to tell me off for mowing the front lawn in my “delicate condition”
Well… I don’t know much about much, but that sounds like reasonable advice to me.
---
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/486 "2015-07-30T08:12:50Z")
Heh heh don’t get me started!
a) They’re not offering to do it for me, just telling ME not to do it.
b) I’m pregnant, not disabled.
c) The flymo isn’t much heavier than a vacuum cleaner, and I don’t see anyone telling me not to vaccum the house, or offering to do that for me either.
d) It’s me who’s annoyed by the long grass, so I’m the one who wants it cut
e) It’s not that big a lawn - I’d have it cut in less than 10 minutes, apart from having to stop and debate the above with concerned passersby!
f) I am irritable-nesting-pregnant woman and there is no winning this discussion:)
This rant may previously have appeared on FB and been rehearsed many times in real life. Apologies to anyone who’s heard it before.
---
### Author:  [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/487 "2015-07-30T09:21:15Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#):
>
> b) I’m pregnant, not disabled.
Fair enough. I certainly wouldn’t suggest it to anyone out loud, but I’d probably think it.
On the other hand, if I was a pregnant woman I probably would be just as affronted.
---
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/488 "2015-07-30T09:23:44Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#):
>
> Fair enough. I certainly wouldn’t suggest it to anyone out loud, but I’d probably think it.
>
> On the other hand, if I was a pregnant woman I probably would be just as affronted.
In fairness, I’ve also used the “But I’m too pregnant!!” excuse to get out of doing other things, so that might be a wee bit hypocritical of me to complain when people use it against me 😉
---
### Author:  [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/489 "2015-07-30T10:28:44Z")
Extremely minor: Goddammit, library, I was there yesterday! Why didn’t you tell me my hold was available when I checked out the DVD? Now I have to make another trip this afternoon in the Ungodly Heat to pick up a book that I could have already had!
I’m mad because I know it showed up when they scanned my card because I’ve been there to check out things before and they said “Oh! You have a hold available!” But those were times when I didn’t have Little Miss Ditzy Multitasker checking me out.
Related rant: fuck this heat. I should not be dying of humidity at 6:30 a.m. :mad:
---
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/490 "2015-07-30T10:30:52Z")
Another related rant - guess who’s re-broken her strimmer(weedwhacker). Fatally this time I think, I’m guessing the motor’s burnt out.
---
### Author:  [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/491 "2015-07-30T13:05:13Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#):
>
> Another related rant - guess who’s re-broken her strimmer(weedwhacker). Fatally this time I think, I’m guessing the motor’s burnt out.
Well, look on the bright side. You’re only 10 or 12 years away from being able to tell the kid to handle the yard work. Fourteen years, tops.
---
### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/492 "2015-07-30T14:20:59Z")
> [@Catamount](#):
>
> Extremely minor: Goddammit, library, I was there yesterday! Why didn’t you tell me my hold was available when I checked out the DVD? Now I have to make another trip this afternoon in the Ungodly Heat to pick up a book that I could have already had!
>
> I’m mad because I know it showed up when they scanned my card because I’ve been there to check out things before and they said “Oh! You have a hold available!” But those were times when I didn’t have Little Miss Ditzy Multitasker checking me out.
>
> Related rant: fuck this heat. I should not be dying of humidity at 6:30 a.m. :mad:
My librarians no doubt rue the day I discovered how to use the online catalog. I am all about managing my books, and if there’s a hold for me, I will know it and send them back to find it!
Also, yeah, fuck this heat.
---
### Author:  [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/493 "2015-07-30T14:44:35Z")
> [@Finagle](#):
>
> Well, look on the bright side. You’re only 10 or 12 years away from being able to tell the kid to handle the yard work. Fourteen years, tops.
I already have a 5 yr old - think she’d be able to tackle it in about 4 years? 😉
---
### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/494 "2015-07-30T15:27:59Z")
Heh. [See if **Furious Marmot** will take her for a week.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=18560748#post18560748) She could be ready before you need to cut the grass again.
😃
---
### Author:  [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/495 "2015-07-30T17:01:40Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#):
>
> I already have a 5 yr old - think she’d be able to tackle it in about 4 years? 😉
Maybe if you get a strimmer that won’t self-destruct when faced with the rigors of the Scottish heather or gorse or whatever doughty vegetation it is you folks have for lawns up there.
---
### Author:  [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/496 "2015-07-30T18:38:48Z")
Just sat down to lunch with a paper and read about The Donald’s lawyer dustup when he said it was impossible to rape your wife. Whatever, dudes a clown.
But it turns out New York was the first to make raping your wife illegal and it happened in 1984, only in 1993 was it illegal in all 50 states. You can still rape your unconscious wife in Oklahoma.
What. The. Fuck.
---
### Author:  [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/497 "2015-07-30T20:39:56Z")
**Cinnamon Imp** , Get some goats! 😃
---
### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [July 30, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/498 "2015-07-30T21:37:27Z")
> [@Sitnam](#):
>
> You can still rape your unconscious wife in Oklahoma.
>
> What. The. Fuck.
So Bill Cosby can still enjoy his fetish if he takes his wife and moves to Oklahoma?
ducking and running
---
### Author:  [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2015, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/499 "2015-07-31T01:39:55Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#):
>
> Heh heh don’t get me started!
>
> a) They’re not offering to do it for me, just telling ME not to do it. . . . .[/SIZE]
Remember this phrase: “Is that the voice of a volunteer?”
It alliterates and everything.
---
### Author:  [@russian\_heel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/russian_heel)
#### Post date: [July 31, 2015, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957/500 "2015-07-31T03:30:55Z")
So according the Faceboks, if you are pro-choice, eat meat, or aren’t willing to recognize the benefits of big game hunting income generation for Third World countries, your a hypocrite for voicing outrage at the death of Cecil the Lion. SHUT----the fuck—UP!!!:mad::mad::mad:
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957.md?page=24)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/july-is-the-longest-month-for-mini-rants/723957.md?page=26)