# Jumpin' Jehosaphat! It's July! More mini-rants! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 1, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898 "2012-07-01T14:29:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/301 "2012-07-15T14:24:29Z")
I discovered that the video card in my g/f’s computer doesn’t have an updated driver for Win7. I ended up digging around in my box of old stuff and came up with an old card of mine that should work. Eager to do this because we (meaning I) want to be able to run a dual display and Netflix on to her big TV. Huummmm, the problem? Wanted to install it yesterday, so I grabbed a screwdriver and prepared to take the cover off the case. No screws? That’s odd, guess I’ll just open it! It’s stuck. _look more closely_ wtf…a lock? The fucking side cover is LOCKED? Seriously…it has a latch, and one of those round-keyed locks. Who locks a computer? Particularly, one made out of Frankensteined 10 year-old parts? I supposed the answer is my g/f’s dad. I’ve never seen such a thing. The least he could have done is SENT her the KEY when he shipped it? Guess he never expected it to be messed with 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/302 "2012-07-15T14:36:36Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Our big point of contention is the AC. He wants it to be meatlocker cold. I’m wearing a jacket in my home because he can’t sleep when its only 74 degrees F. When it’s above that in my apartment, I’m sleeping with no sheets and a fan blowing on me. My favorite sleeping weather is in the spring and fall when the nightly lows are in the 55-60 range and I can sleep with the windows open. Even then I’m at least partially uncovered. I’m a human furnace, I produce a lot of heat on my own. ---
**Author:** ![Neidhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Neidhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neidhart)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/303 "2012-07-15T19:32:45Z")
When an American sees the phrase “Chili Dog” on a menu, **underneath a picture of an American flag,** he has certain expectations as to what he’s going to get. You know what he’s not going to expect? A hot dog with mustard and ketchup (Ketchup!), some dry crumbly stuff that was probably nut pieces (I don’t know; I scraped it off) and some jalapeños that felt like they were right out of the fridge. (A hot dog is not a salad. All the toppings should be at least warm.) If you know nothing about a proper American chili dog or can’t be arsed to get real chili, then just change the bloody name on the menu, will you?? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/304 "2012-07-15T20:40:37Z")
[quote=“Neidhart, post:303, topic:626898”] When an American sees the phrase “Chili Dog” on a menu, **underneath a picture of an American flag,** he has certain expectations as to what he’s going to get.QUOTE] Jalapenos are chilis. Hence, Chili Dog, as in hot dog with chilis on it. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/305 "2012-07-15T20:51:36Z")
I am probably going to drop dead of heatstroke. That be-damned minature donkey has found a way out of his pasture and decided to go walkabout. Fortunately a kind passer-by came to the door asking if I was missing a “foal”. Grey and white? Oh, crap, that’s no foal it’s Captain Morgan. Managed to get him back in his pasture; he left again and this time put himself in the pasture with Springer. Springer hasn’t kicked his head off yet, so it’s all good. I hope he’ll keep his silly self in there until R gets home to fix the fence. It is too fucking hot to be chasing a fucking donkey. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/306 "2012-07-16T04:30:23Z")
[quote=“Chimera, post:304, topic:626898”] > [@Neidhart](#): > > When an American sees the phrase “Chili Dog” on a menu, **underneath a picture of an American flag,** he has certain expectations as to what he’s going to get.QUOTE] > > Jalapenos are chilis. Hence, Chili Dog, as in hot dog with chilis on it. Well, I’m not ordering the Corn Dog, then. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/307 "2012-07-16T04:59:31Z")
> [@Flutterby](#): > > Ugh. Look people, I splurged on rodeo tickets for one reason and one fucking reason alone, to watch the Musical Ride. Not to watch you do musical chairs with you, your friends, enemies and your ten children. Fine you got the seating sorted out (because apparently no one can read their tickets or the seat numbers) and get settled and then, THEN you pull out the massive umbrella AND POP IT OPEN. Seriously?\ Bringing a huge umbrella (well, any umbrella, really) to a grandstand show is beyond belief. If I’m not mistaken, those aren’t cheap tickets, either. > [@flatlined](#): > > Please do laugh 🙂 If I had seen a video of it online, I would have laughed so hard I might have peed myself. It took about 10 seconds from Bill’s “here, watch this” in his cute Texan accent to blood and a destroyed living room. The only part that was missing was Bill telling me to hold his beer. (which got spilled when Steve climbed the tower of Bill.)\ I’m disappointed in Bill - everyone knows you get someone to hold your beer before you start shenanigans like that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/308 "2012-07-16T10:10:43Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m disappointed in Bill - everyone knows you get someone to hold your beer before you start shenanigans like that. 🙂 [Hey Bubba, watch this!](http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81495275/) ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/309 "2012-07-16T16:55:54Z")
> [@KSO](#): > > I am so pissed that I am almost in shock. My husband decided to try to rehab the fugly dining room table and chairs that he has had forever and for which we have been trying to find replacements. Thumbs up for that. He decided to do this while I was away as a surprise for me. Thumbs up for that. He decided to do this by spray painting the chairs INSIDE OUR BRAND NEW CONDO. :smack: > > What the fuck? What the fucking fuck? What the motherfucking fucking fuck were you thinking? > > He stopped when he realized that spray paint comes out of the can in a fine mist. So, now, our dining area floor is covered in a fine mist of white spray paint. On the plus side, the floors are a distressed white but still… WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!!! He did that _without putting a tarp or something under the chairs that he was spray-painting?_ :eek: And here I thought it was bad that Mr. Neville was dumb enough to start the washer while I was in the shower yesterday. I was ready to kill him at the time, and I’m not sure any jury would have convicted me if I had. For God’s sake, he’s got a PhD in astrophysics, he should know better than that! He claimed he’s used to apartments and dorms where this kind of thing is not an issue, but we’ve lived here, in this house with its old plumbing, for _five years_ now! Things like that can usually get through even my thick skull in that amount of time. Nor did he kick a cage containing a feral cat that does not want to come out of said cage. :eek: There’s hope. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/310 "2012-07-16T18:12:53Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Bringing a huge umbrella (well, any umbrella, really) to a grandstand show is beyond belief. If I’m not mistaken, those aren’t cheap tickets, either. They aren’t. Well, relatively I suppose ours were because we were on the far end of the grandstand and we had to watch the large screen put in front of our section to see things at times, but the musical ride is better seen from further back because you can actually see the patterns they make whereas up close it’s a bunch of horses and people in red serge trotting around not crashing into each other. I was just amazed at people. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/311 "2012-07-16T18:45:40Z")
Some days it’s just not worth it to chew through the straps. Yesterday was one of those days. I thought both female dogs were spayed. Scared me to death to find drops of fresh blood on the floor. Turns out the German Shepard has not been spayed. I rescued about a dozen frogs from the pool over the weekend; then a huge wolf spider decides to go swimming with me. The Ragdoll cat manages to catch a lizard in the house, and got miffed when I took it away from him. No kitty kisses for me! Then the minature donkey escapes and I spend all afternoon trying to keep him contained. He has never been taught to lead - that is going to be remedied very soon. On the bright side, the horse we rescued from Florida a few months ago is absolutely beautiful - having enough food has worked wonders for him. He just came home from the trainer and leads beautifully. I could probably ride him now, but they only have English saddles and I’m not about to try to ride a half-broken horse on an English saddle. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/312 "2012-07-16T19:59:32Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > And he’s a morning person. Its very possible that the reason he thinks I don’t need all my guns is because he’s afraid that one morning, he will want me to get up to look at the sunrise and I’ll use all of them on him. Oh, god. I’ve taken to getting up around 7 am and trucking off to the Y to swim. Swimming in the morning is great. It wakes me up and is good exercise and I enjoy it greatly. However, he gets up at 6:30, and at 7, wants to come out and see me off. No problem, I appreciate it. But I just want: “Love you!” _kiss_ “See you later!” He insists, however on, “We’re having X for dinner! Be good! Drive safe! Did you pack your flip-flops? Don’t walk in the shower without them! Be careful! I’ll see you tonight! I’ll text you when I get to work!” And he expects an answer to all of them. Very considerate and all, but I JUST WOKE UP, dude. I just want to grunt and drive away. I hadn’t thought of the gun option. Maybe I should threaten him with one, but they’re only .22s and besides that would require waking up a bit. GAH! Morning people in general annoy me. “I know you’re cranky in the morning!” No, I am NOT cranky. I am, however, quiet and not inclined to be overly talkative. I do GET cranky when you CALL me cranky. Bitch. My other major rant is people not using their turn signals. We’ll just drift out of this lane…into the other…then back again…oh, look, our exit…we’ll just drift into there, too. STOP IT. ETA: Snakescatlady had a mini donkey named Captain Morgan??? Ooo, I want one! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/313 "2012-07-17T02:12:27Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > ETA: Snakescatlady had a mini donkey named Captain Morgan??? Ooo, I want one! He’s not mine, unfortunately, he belongs to the friend I housesit for. A shame, really, because he is a doll baby. Not much bigger than a German Shepard. I’m going to go out there next week sometime to start training him to lead by his halter; he’s had no training at all and there is nothing harder to move than a donkey who doesn’t want to be moved. He’s got the softest big ol’ donkey ears and the softest widdle donkey nose… ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/314 "2012-07-17T04:59:46Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m disappointed in Bill - everyone knows you get someone to hold your beer before you start shenanigans like that. 🙂 I know, right! Any real Texan would protect the beer first. Bill told me that he was born in Tennesse, I’m starting to think that he’s lieing about that because he’s too embarrassed to confess that he was born in California or _New York City_! > [@aruvqan](#): > > [Hey Bubba, watch this!](http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81495275/) That was just too funny! Thank your for sharing it. I sent the link to Bill and he hasn’t responded. I know he’s not offended, he’s probably just asleep. The 3 hour time difference is a pain. > [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Some days it’s just not worth it to chew through the straps. Yesterday was one of those days. > > I thought both female dogs were spayed. Scared me to death to find drops of fresh blood on the floor. Turns out the German Shepard has not been spayed. > > I rescued about a dozen frogs from the pool over the weekend; then a huge wolf spider decides to go swimming with me. > > The Ragdoll cat manages to catch a lizard in the house, and got miffed when I took it away from him. No kitty kisses for me! > > Then the minature donkey escapes and I spend all afternoon trying to keep him contained. He has never been taught to lead - that is going to be remedied very soon. > > On the bright side, the horse we rescued from Florida a few months ago is absolutely beautiful - having enough food has worked wonders for him. He just came home from the trainer and leads beautifully. I could probably ride him now, but they only have English saddles and I’m not about to try to ride a half-broken horse on an English saddle. I don’t know much about horses and saddles, but I’m happy that the rescue horse is doing well. I know that my rescues do much better with regular food. Go figure! Don’t you volunteer to housesit? Us bikers will share stories of riding in storms and snow…when non bikers look at us like we are nuts…the only thing we can say is that we do it because we love it. Masochists are us 🙂 > [@Anaamika](#): > > I hadn’t thought of the gun option. Maybe I should threaten him with one, but they’re only .22s and besides that would require waking up a bit. \ And this is why Bill still lives. First I’d have to find my glasses, then I’d need to pee and finally I’d have to remember the combination to the gunsafes. By that time, I have coffee in my hands and my poor starving cats need their breakfast so are trying to help me remember that they are starving by running under my feet and into the kitchen. > [@](#): > > My other major rant is people not using their turn signals. We’ll just drift out of this lane…into the other…then back again…oh, look, our exit…we’ll just drift into there, too. STOP IT. This isn’t a mini rant, its a major one. I really miss turning signals. I thought that maybe new cars didn’t come with them for a cost saving device because the auto manufactures knew that I was the only one who used them. I’ve learned to watch front tires because they turn before someone does a boneheaded move like try to crash into me. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/315 "2012-07-17T05:19:41Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > And he expects an answer to all of them. Very considerate and all, but I JUST WOKE UP, dude. No you did not. You’re still waking up. What he doesn’t understand is that for you, waking up isn’t an on-off switch… > [@](#): > > GAH! Morning people in general annoy me. “I know you’re cranky in the morning!” No, I am NOT cranky. I am, however, quiet and not inclined to be overly talkative. I do GET cranky when you CALL me cranky. Bitch. HEY! Those of us who wake up when the bed kicks us out, before sunup, would appreciate it if you learned to differentiate: there is no more correlation between morning person and idiocy than between normal-work-hours person and imbecility (no, I can’t come have coffee at 5pm on a Saturday. Because I work weekends. Well, either I’m at work and have been since 6am or I’m preparing to be at work until 6am. Which part of “I work weekends” can’t you understand after two years of me working weekends?) Self-centered idiocy comes in all kinds of hours. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/316 "2012-07-17T06:00:57Z")
> [@](#): > > And this is why Bill still lives. First I’d have to find my glasses, then I’d need to pee and finally I’d have to remember the combination to the gunsafes. By that time, I have coffee in my hands and my poor starving cats need their breakfast so are trying to help me remember that they are starving by running under my feet and into the kitchen. Look, if you’re gonna live in Texas, you have to learn to sleep with a gun under your pillow. A LOADED gun. It’s a state requirement. You can lock up most of your guns, but you must have at least one fully loaded gun ready to hand at all times. Or at least, this is what my Bill believes. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/317 "2012-07-17T06:49:53Z")
Is that why I couldn’t get the job in Houston? Would a water gun be acceptable? ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/318 "2012-07-17T07:17:11Z")
I don’t know from most new cars but our 2005 Pontiac has them and my 1997. I also have a 96 Jeep with working signals. I can tell you that there are bunches of cars where I am that don’t seem to have signals and they might be short on headlights to boot. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/319 "2012-07-17T07:24:40Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Is that why I couldn’t get the job in Houston? Would a water gun be acceptable? Water gun? WATER GUN? :rolleyes: No, water guns are not acceptable, unless you load them with weapons grade hot sauce. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2012, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/320 "2012-07-17T07:33:23Z")
I love my nephew but I really hate how he’s in the middle of his picky stage and won’t eat what i make for dinner. I’m also not happy that my recycling bin is full and it’s still FIVE LONG fucking days before it’s picked up. I don’t want to cut the grass today. I hate that my vaccuum bag is almost full and needs changing. I gotta change the lightbulb on my ceiling fan. I don’t know what I did to FIREFOX to turn off spellcheck. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898.md?page=17)