# Jumpin' Jehosaphat! It's July! More mini-rants! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 1, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898 "2012-07-01T14:29:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/341 "2012-07-18T16:36:53Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > \The morning people are happy and cheerful and talking and laughing. The rest of us are huddled in a different part of the parking lot, quietly sucking up coffee and checking the fluid levels on our machines. If the morning people start to get too close, we start our bikes to drown them out. You’d think just a snarl or two in their general direction would get the message across. 🙂 > [@Nava](#): > > That’s a completely different animal. Nowadays it’s very common to have couples which are from different places, so one or the other side will have to travel. In a destination wedding, everybody has to travel, and I’ve known some where the location wasn’t even a place the couple knew and loved: it was a place they’d picked out of a travel agent’s brochure.\ That’s what I was thinking, too. You’re just having an out-of-town wedding, not a destination wedding. Invite everyone you want to and don’t feel bad about anything - people will make the decision on whether or not to come based on their own situations (some people will use your wedding as an opportunity to take a nice trip, some people simply won’t be able to make it). > [@Chimera](#): > > I remember some co-workers who didn;t make jack deciding to have an event wedding on a beach in Jamaica, paid for by her parents. Invited I think somewhere around 100 people. > > _With the clear instructions that they all had to leave the day after the wedding so that the happy couple could enjoy the rest of their Honeymoon alone._ > > Yay! Invite us all to come _to a completely different country_ to celebrate your wedding. Then tell us all when we have to leave. > > As I recall, they were rather disappointed with the turnout… People do get awfully nervy when it comes to their weddings. I’d leave - the general area that they were staying in, and spend the rest of my Jamaican vacation on the other side of the island. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/342 "2012-07-18T17:18:04Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > People do get awfully nervy when it comes to their weddings. I’d leave - the general area that they were staying in, and spend the rest of my Jamaican vacation on the other side of the island. 😃 I wouldn’t - I am in the freaking hotel, I am _staying_ until my plane leaves to go home. Screw them, if they want privacy, they can hole up in their room and screw their brains out. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/343 "2012-07-18T18:32:25Z")
It seems like anyone planning a wedding is by definition “all about themselves” for those months. The reality of it is: Have your wedding wherever you want. Those who can make it will, those who can’t, won’t. Don’t take it personally. I know that during my wedding and reception, it all went by in a blur. A month later, I had someone say “SO sorry we couldn’t make it!” and I had to think “Oh, were they not there?” I was so busy refilling champagne glasses/hugging Aunt Audrey from Sequim/dancing with my niece/whatever, that I honestly didn’t notice anyone who wasn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/344 "2012-07-18T18:33:09Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Eagan where I live is 35 square miles and they say there are roughly 1,000 ponds in the city, besides the several small lakes. …and really weirdly named streets. Blue Gentian? Yankee Doodle? Pilot Knob? I’m learning my way around your fair burg - and laughing at the names. I’m a northsider. Logical names - Logan, Knox, Hampshire. Simple. Easy. No streets that make the inner 12 year old snerk. Pilot Knob. WE HAD RAIN! Lots and lots of rain! Knocked out power and everything! It was beautiful. My fancy schmancy clock radio did not survive, though. And hyrdoplaning down the freeway? Also not so much fun. The humidity cleared for about 5 minutes and we’re back in the soup again. I want winter, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/345 "2012-07-18T19:43:11Z")
Dear Everybody Who Drives a Car: When getting ready to turn, put on your blinker _ **before** _ you hit the brakes. Order of operations matters here, people! ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/346 "2012-07-18T19:44:43Z")
[Inbetweeners remake. Cringe.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSCaEijMx3U) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/347 "2012-07-18T19:47:27Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Dear Everybody Who Drives a Car: > > When getting ready to turn, put on your blinker _ **before** _ you hit the brakes. Order of operations matters here, people! And then go CONFIDENTLY. Don’t drift or waver. Really: when driving, BE PREDICTABLE. ---
**Author:** ![ScarletNumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@ScarletNumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScarletNumber)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/348 "2012-07-18T21:31:16Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > No, I am NOT cranky. Well you sure seem like you are. ---
**Author:** ![ScarletNumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@ScarletNumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScarletNumber)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/349 "2012-07-18T21:36:33Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > Listen asshole behind me in the left-turn lane: I’ll turn when I’m damn good and ready and feel 100% safe doing so. Yes I made an error in judgement (who doesn’t?) and could have turned earlier and ended up doing the “yellow light turn”, but you shouldn’t have crawled up my ass either. What did you think honking at me would accomplish, jerkwad? We both turned and carried on our merry ways. Fuck you. Letting out frustration on someone who needs an engraved invitation to make a left-hand turn. ---
**Author:** ![ScarletNumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@ScarletNumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScarletNumber)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/350 "2012-07-18T21:44:16Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > A while ago (two years? three? four?) I bought my husband two dozen black socks, and one dozen white socks, all from Wilson socks, and all of them going up to the knee, which he prefers. He put all of his other socks into another sock drawer, in case we need to make a cat toy or something. And now he’s happy, because sorting socks is as easy as telling the difference between black or white. However, I ordered the socks online, and I ordered multiple packs (I think they came in three or four pairs per pack). 😕 What’s the rant? ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/351 "2012-07-18T21:53:31Z")
**flatlined** , if’n I wuz you, I think I’d send everyone wedding invitations with a separate insert about the reception ‘for those unable to attend in Houston’. Or something like that. If you’re worried about looking greedy, put in a line about no gifts needed, or suggest donations instead, or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/352 "2012-07-18T23:02:38Z")
Two rants from my walk this afternoon - I counted about 12 cyclists riding on the sidewalk versus one cyclist on the road. It’s a quiet residential area, people - get the fuck off the sidewalks already. For the drivers making a left turn across my crosswalk - I have a walk light. That means that your dedicated green arrow is long over - do not come screaming across my crosswalk as I’m trying to walk, making me jump back or get driven over. This frigging intersection is the same every damned time - someone is going to get killed there some day. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/353 "2012-07-19T00:08:47Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Dear Everybody Who Drives a Car: > > When getting ready to turn, put on your blinker _ **before** _ you hit the brakes. Order of operations matters here, people! And turn off your flipping blinker if you’re NOT trying to turn or change lanes, people. I was stuck in traffic, in a construction zone, and was waiting for 10 minutes (I was watching the clock, too) for some idjit to change lanes. When I pulled up next to him, and told him his blinker was on, he hadn’t noticed. Not surprising, what with the music blaring (his windows were down, natch) and him doing something with a handheld electronic device. > [@ScarletNumber](#): > > 😕 What’s the rant? Someone right above me was ranting that the “identical” pairs of socks that s/he had bought weren’t all that identical. I was just commenting that I’d had the opposite experience, I wasn’t particularly ranting in that one. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/354 "2012-07-19T01:00:46Z")
Dammit. My cousin’s trying to get his parents sectioned (because he was, for good reason, so this is some weird revenge), and is trying to drag me into it. He’s messaged me again on facebook, and I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to reply- there’s a very good chance he’ll completely cut me off if I don’t give an ‘acceptable’ reponse, and I don’t want that to happen- he’s running out of relatives he can talk to, and he doesn’t have any friends that aren’t batshit crazy- but he’s also clearly going to cause major upset and problems for my aunt and uncle, and I don’t want them to think I’m agreeing with his obviously messed up views. I’m reduced to hiding, and not posting anything so’s he thinks I haven’t been on and haven’t read the messages yet. It’s pathetic, and stupid, but I don’t know what else to do ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/355 "2012-07-19T02:46:31Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > …and really weirdly named streets. Blue Gentian? Yankee Doodle? Pilot Knob? I’m learning my way around your fair burg - and laughing at the names. I’m a northsider. Logical names - Logan, Knox, Hampshire. Simple. Easy. No streets that make the inner 12 year old snerk. Pilot Knob. I’m wondering whether that one is the one my grandfather used to refer to when he described a certain kind of people\*… You know that knob right at the prow of a ship or boat? In Spanish at least, that knob, which in small vessels is used by the human pilot as his reference point, is also called a pilot. Boat people, please: is that a “pilot knob” in English? - Those described in Spanish as _viajan como las maletas_: they travel like luggage (or, in my merchant captain grandfather’s saying, like a ship’s pilot), that is, completely unconscious of their surroundings. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/356 "2012-07-19T03:29:49Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > Dammit. My cousin’s trying to get his parents sectioned (because he was, for good reason, so this is some weird revenge), and is trying to drag me into it. He’s messaged me again on facebook, and I’ve no idea what I’m supposed to reply- there’s a very good chance he’ll completely cut me off if I don’t give an ‘acceptable’ reponse, and I don’t want that to happen- he’s running out of relatives he can talk to, and he doesn’t have any friends that aren’t batshit crazy- but he’s also clearly going to cause major upset and problems for my aunt and uncle, and I don’t want them to think I’m agreeing with his obviously messed up views. > > I’m reduced to hiding, and not posting anything so’s he thinks I haven’t been on and haven’t read the messages yet. It’s pathetic, and stupid, but I don’t know what else to do ☹ Do you think you could benefit your aunt and uncle by alerting them to his plans? Do you feel any impulse to benefit them? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/357 "2012-07-19T04:33:01Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > That’s a completely different animal. Nowadays it’s very common to have couples which are from different places, so one or the other side will have to travel. In a destination wedding, everybody has to travel, and I’ve known some where the location wasn’t even a place the couple knew and loved: it was a place they’d picked out of a travel agent’s brochure. In my defense, Arizona is a destination wedding place. We have the Grand Canyon and Sedona, so I forget what that term really means. Yes, you all are right, I’m just getting married in a different state. > [@](#): > > What you’re doing, and if you don’t stop beating yourself over it I’ll come and… wait, she’s got Tony, and feral cats, and Bill, and burly Marine bikers… and yell at you in Spanish. A lot. Loudly. With lots of cursing, and K and J sounds. And finger wagging. Anyway, what you’re doing is include everybody, and make it possible for everybody to join in your joy _without_ having to travel. I’ve got a valid passport, woman, don’t make me use it! The K and J sounds already have me scared…but the [burly Marine bikers might be a reason to use your passport.](https://picasaweb.google.com/101167617395374741428/WoundedWarrior2009?feat=flashslideshow#5664683000116061922) A couple of years ago, during the winter, we were at a Starbucks parking lot when a new guy showed up. Active duty Marine, buff and handsome and wearing leathers. I do love men in chaps. So anyhow, I was standing by the Prez and he came over to introduce himself. When he offered to shake my hand, I somehow fumbled one of my gloves and dropped it. The prospect bent over to pick it up and I checked him out. One of the club members started lauging and told another one that he needed to pay up because it only took me 5 minutes to get him to bend over. The prospect heard what was happening and looked me in the eyes and asked me if I had really done that on purpose so I could check him out. I hummed and hawed and finally said yes. He threw my glove on the ground. Me with shocked look on my face. Then he unzipped his jacket, swinged it around by the sleeve for a minute and tossed it at my feet. Next he pulled off his shirt and swinged it around while flexing a wonderful buff chest. Then he threw himself on the ground and did 10 Marine pushups, while flexing all those sculpted muscles, picked my glove up with his mouth, leaped up and bowed while handing my glove back. He gave me an evil smile and asked “How did you like that?” What could I do? I threw my other glove on the ground! > [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > **I** would be delighted to be invited to **flatlined** bachelorette party! > > I agree, we may not have given then enough notice; we only called in about 2 hours before we started to arrive. > > **flatlined, if you need a fat, old redhead for your wedding party, I’ll even bring kittens!** No party is ever complete without kittens!!! That should have warned the manager that he had to get off his butt and do something. We usually try to give at least a week’s notice when we are moving a lot of people because we understand scheduling problems. IMHO, the cook was excused for panicing and trying to get everything out, the waitress was excused, the manager was just an idiot. > [@Anaamika](#): > > She was AWFUL. She would wake up every morning and sing “It’s mooorrrning! Wake uppppp!” I wanted to smack her. When I was in basic training, there was one girl who would dance through the squad bays singing happy songs when we had to get up after getting about 4 hours of sleep. She survived only because it was the Air Force and we didn’t get to have shooty things. Its been 17 years and I still hate her. > [@redtail23](#): > > **flatlined** , if’n I wuz you, I think I’d send everyone wedding invitations with a separate insert about the reception ‘for those unable to attend in Houston’. Or something like that. > > If you’re worried about looking greedy, put in a line about no gifts needed, or suggest donations instead, or whatever. Your suggestion about the insert is a great one. Thank you so much. All except for the no gifts needed part. I have been told on no uncertain terms that I cannot ever even consider that gifts will happen. My Matron of Honor (who also has lots of shooty things) says that she and my other attendents will take care of it. I’ve been reading lots of stuff about planning a wedding. Probably too much. I’m only going to do this once and I want to do it right. I still have 351 days to get everything arranged, so I’m probably overthinking everything. Maybe I should stop doing that and start going through my books again. I really don’t need the Chilton manual for the 65 Chevy that I sold 6 years ago… ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/358 "2012-07-19T07:22:22Z")
I pit myself for being such a grumpy bitch, I’m on the verge of defriending several aquaintances on FB for fairly petty reasons, and other actual friends are just pissing me off. And I totally dropped the ball on one of my volunteer activities yesterday and feel awful about it, and now people are trying to shift other mummy-volunteer responsibilities onto me, and I should just admit I’m struggling as it is, what with the ongoing financial separation from my ex, and a 19 month old who doesn’t believe in sleeping through the night, I’m stressed out. _stops for breath_ > [@gamerunknown](#): > > [Inbetweeners remake. Cringe.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSCaEijMx3U) That should be punishable by death ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/359 "2012-07-19T07:27:05Z")
Note to self: if ever get to have a chance to meet **flatlined** ’s burly Marines, learn to wolf-whistle in advance… is it hot in here? ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/360 "2012-07-19T13:09:12Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Do you think you could benefit your aunt and uncle by alerting them to his plans? Do you feel any impulse to benefit them? It’s a good point, but it probably wouldn’t help; he says he’s already reported them, so I can’t stop that. I very much doubt that anything will happen because of his accusations- for a start, his parents are well known to the local mental health unit- my aunt actually does have a pretty severe mental health condition, but she’s been perfectly stable on medication for about 30 years now (since he was a toddler), and goes to a weekly NHS organised help group, where she’s their star member. I can’t see how they’d take him seriously- and it would really upset her to know that he tried. Possibly someone will let her know, possibly not, but the local health authority knows what’s going on better than I do at this point. His ‘evidence’ so far as I can tell is that his Mum’s getting extremely upset very easily, and his Dad’s getting angry at him a lot, hence his mother must be dangerously unstable, and his father’s a psychopath. He’s just lost the capacity to tell what’s normal and what isn’t, so his eating incense and declaring himself a half-alien is fine, but his parents’ reaction to shit like that means there’s something massively wrong with them. I know there’s not really anything I _can_ do, especially living a few hundred miles away, I mainly want to vent ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898.md?page=19)