# Jumpin' Jehosaphat! It's July! More mini-rants! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 1, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898 "2012-07-01T14:29:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/121 "2012-07-05T15:09:52Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > The way I look at that when it happens to me is, lowered chance that someone will notice it’s Zombienava sitting at work. So long as I can refrain from stumbling about saying “braaaains…”, that is. Yeah, 40% (2 people) of my team are out of the office and we’re still dead. The only ‘work’ I have is a couple of people asking obvious questions (easy money) and the occasional "um, could you look at this for a minute?’ stuff helping a co-worker. I wouldn’t dream of being on the SDMB on a regular work day. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/122 "2012-07-05T15:30:38Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Getting, as in how old? I turned 50 on June 28th. I marked that as “officially OLD now”. > > FL, I dunno. I’m in a fairly small apartment that still has some urine stain issues, despite my best efforts. I’m kinda afraid to get a new cat as much as I’d like one for fear that it would smell all these spots all over and decide it needed to mark over the top of them. > > I do appreciate the offer though. 1. Yeah, you’re old(er than me.) 😛 New kitties are awesome… until they decide that your pillow right above your head is their favorite place to sleep, and they knead on your scalp. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/123 "2012-07-05T15:46:02Z")
> [@thirdwarning](#): > > I know my dear daughter is a bit (hah!) arachnophobic. I don’t mind being her spider-killing heroine, even if I do laugh gently at her and sometimes push her harder to work through her fears. So when I was thinking about going to bed and she called to me from the kitchen, in her urgent voice, I figured I’d have to knock something down and get rid of it. > I was NOT prepared for maggots, dozens of maggots, on the kitchen floor. Sweep them up, dump them into the bucket, drown them in vinegar. Start checking things on the floor to try to find out where they’re coming from. No clue. Get the ones on the living room carpet. Check things in there, no obvious or logical source. Pick up anything on the floor and grab the ones underneath. An hour later, hot and sweaty and tired, we’ve checked everything and stemmed the tide, but we still can’t figure out where they came from. Oh, but there’s another one! And one more! And a couple over there. Get rid of all those, watch for a couple minutes and there are a few more. > I was up 'til four, checking every little bit to get rid of any new ones. You know how hard it is to see the little devils on a white and gray floor, without contacts in? Sit and read a little bit, catch a few bugs. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Finally things seemed clear so I went to bed, only to find a couple in the early morning when I fed the cat. Got rid of those, went back to bed. Got up a couple hours later to find a dozen or so in the kitchen. Turns out they were coming out from under the metal edging strip between the kitchen linoleum and the living room carpet. How the heck did they get there?! > I wanted to go outside and see if the house had been transported to Amityville when I wasn’t looking. This situation sounds like one of my absolute worst nightmares. Holy Christ - how did you do this without vomiting copiously? I recently had to remove a dead bird from our screened-in porch that had gotten stuck there while we were away. There were maggots coming out its eyes and even after I put it in a bag, they were crawling up and down the outside somehow. After I managed to dispose of it, I promptly ran to the bathroom and barfed everything up I’d eaten over the last three days. I couldn’t eat anything white for a while afterward. Also, my kids got into an argument yesterday about who farted. Imagine if you will a 2.5 year old and a 6 year old yelling, “No, _I_ farted!” “No, _I_ did!” They’re both sitting on my lap, the stench is rising around all of us and it is clear to me that both of my lovely children broke wind. And they’re arguing about it, each trying to own the fart. On the one hand, I wish they would _stop arguing_! On the other, it’s almost impossible to speak without laughing hysterically. I’m in a bind and all the while the air around me is just putrid and I’m trapped underneath two squirming, arguing, farty little bodies. I think the fart incident of July the 4th far outstrips last week’s argument about whether or not my daughter’s head was attached to her neck (she said it wasn’t; my son contended that it was). ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/124 "2012-07-05T17:13:24Z")
Oh, something like that bird would have had me fighting to keep things down, if you know what I mean. But somehow this was a bit different, in that they were ‘clean’ if that makes any sense. It wasn’t anything oozy or messy or stinky, which is part of why it was so hard to figure out. I mean, it was pretty gross, just having them there, but in the heat of battle, so to speak, that was the least of it. I didn’t share daughter’s amusement, in the wee hours when she got a little punchy, at ‘popping’ them. We weren’t environmentally careful about cleaning them up, so a lot of napkins were used, after the initial sweeping and drowning. Of course, at some point the cat managed to brush against each of us, which made us jump and yell, and I’m still a bit ‘crawly’, even today. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/125 "2012-07-05T17:16:40Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > \ > My mini: Dang it, Shiva, I was already putting you down! Was it absolutely \*necessary \*to launch yourself off my bare abdomen and leave those lovely long streaks of torn flesh behind? “I’m a cat; that’s my job.” > [@Chimera](#): > > So what you’re saying is that you could probably get most of them before the rest caught on? 😉 Heh - this creates quite the mind picture, of **Alice** camped out with a sniper rifle… Happy Birthday, **Alice**! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/126 "2012-07-05T17:39:20Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > My theory is that is all for show. “See? _I do **yoga**!_ I’m cool that way!” > > Kinda like my co-worker insists some people sit in coffee shops trying to be conspicuous with their iphones to show they’re cool. I’ve never seen it, but he swears it’s common. Not cool enough. You’ll see me there with my vintage Zune, reading Kerouac and sketching in my name-brand Moleskine… with my [Palomino](http://boingboing.net/2011/06/17/the-new-palomino-bla.html) [Blackwing](http://money.cnn.com/2011/05/18/smallbusiness/blackwing_pencil_controversy.fortune/index.htm) [602](http://palominobrands.com/blackwing/) pencil. With no phone. Beat that, hipsters. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/127 "2012-07-05T19:17:55Z")
> [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Since I’m not currently working, is that a possibility? I was fired from my last job about the time the symptoms started getting really bad. Even though the pain and numbness has decreased since I’m not typing all day, the grip strength issue has gotten worse. You should check the laws in your state. I think if you can prove it was caused by work, you can at least get it taken care of. > [@](#): > > I sincerely hope someone stole him and will get his eye seen to and take care of him. I had fully intended to steal him myself on my next visit. I’m sure that is what happened - cute kitten with obvious medical problem alone on the street? Swipe in a heatbeat! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/128 "2012-07-05T19:40:51Z")
Brain too hot to form coherent sentence… …can someone else pit this heat for me? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/129 "2012-07-05T21:02:27Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Happy Birthday, **Alice**! Thanks! I wasn’t fishing (I swear!) but I’ll take it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/130 "2012-07-05T21:26:13Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Not cool enough. You’ll see me there with my vintage Zune, reading Kerouac and sketching in my name-brand Moleskine… with my [Palomino](http://boingboing.net/2011/06/17/the-new-palomino-bla.html) [Blackwing](http://money.cnn.com/2011/05/18/smallbusiness/blackwing_pencil_controversy.fortune/index.htm) [602](http://palominobrands.com/blackwing/) pencil. > > With no phone. Beat that, hipsters. I got a little lady boner looking at the picture of the perfectly sharp pencils. I love office supplies… ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/131 "2012-07-06T03:56:42Z")
Dear asshole: The next time you decide to turn left from the rightmost lane, could you do it after I’ve passed by and not when the nose of my vehicle is further along than yours is? You are so lucky I was just easing along in traffic and hadn’t decided to close that gap. And I really, really did not need that shot of adrenaline. ---
**Author:** ![NoiseBomb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/49beb7/32.png) [@NoiseBomb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoiseBomb)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/132 "2012-07-06T04:39:43Z")
So it seems there was another round of short, intense thunderstorms while I was at work. All the blinking clocks tell me the power was out for some of that time. Somehow during all of that the motions sensor spotlight by my front door seems to have gotten fried. No circuit breakers tripped, nothing else is dead. They’re less than $40 at Walmart, but GRRRRRR… ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/133 "2012-07-06T04:56:37Z")
> [@Bookkeeper](#): > > Fair warning: You may want to hold off reading the third book in the series (Red, White and Blood) until book 4 comes out, so you don’t need to deal with the aggravating cliffhanger at the end (“Waddaya mean I can’t get the next book yet? When is it going to be on sale, then? Well, \*why \*isn’t it written yet? Arrrrrgh!!”) I didn’t mean to ignore you…and its too late for me. I was all stabbity when I learned that I couldn’t get the 4th book, I emailed Christopher Fransworth and learned that the new one will be out soon. If he dies before its published, I will hate him forever!!! > [@Chimera](#): > > FL, I dunno. I’m in a fairly small apartment that still has some urine stain issues, despite my best efforts. I’m kinda afraid to get a new cat as much as I’d like one for fear that it would smell all these spots all over and decide it needed to mark over the top of them. > > I do appreciate the offer though. I know how much you like having a cat around, so I’m going to offer up some suggestions…Get some Nature’s Miracle and HOSE the spots. Procure a blacklight and check the results. Consider a female, they don’t have as much history of marking as males. Or, get a kitten that has been fixed before reaching sexual maturity. Considering your work hours, this might not be a good choice and you won’t know what its purrsonality will be as an adult. I love kittens, they are cuddly and adorable and totally squeee. I have a firm rule that any cat that I adopt for the rest of my life will be an adult. I will know what I’m getting and won’t come home to find my house destroyed because of a cute little kitten with excess energy and no sense. I was joking about sending Steve along. He’s my problem. I guess he’s going to live his life in the gooshy food cage. He seems happy and sometimes while he’s eating, I can stick my finger in the cage and touch him. Often my finger doesn’t bleed much after doing that. > [@SnakesCatLady](#): > > Blessed Bast, if he is dead, please take him into Your loving paws and cherish him. He was A Good Boy. Eyes water at that loving prayer. I hope Jughead has been rescued by someone like us. > [@digs](#): > > Brain too hot to form coherent sentence… > > …can someone else pit this heat for me? FUCK this heat!!! Its so hot that the asphalt is melting, the flipping repairs in the concrete are soft and I almost dropped my bike yesterday because my front tire got into a soft rut which almost pulled the handlebars out of my hands. My idiot cat was sleeping with his butt in the water bowl and when I woke him up, he ran inside and plopped himself on my bed. My waterbed that has had the heater shut off for a couple of months so that we can stay cool…so now I have to change the sheets and run the dryer which just adds heat to my home. Did that help? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/134 "2012-07-06T05:02:23Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > FUCK this heat!!!.. > > Did that help? Yes. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/135 "2012-07-06T05:25:10Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Dear asshole: > > The next time you decide to turn left from the rightmost lane, could you do it after I’ve passed by and not when the nose of my vehicle is further along than yours is? You are so lucky I was just easing along in traffic and hadn’t decided to close that gap. And I really, really did not need that shot of adrenaline. I am so glad it wasn’t worse! A couple of years ago, a girl did just that to me - except I was doing about 45 (the speed limit). In the lightning fast thought that flashed through my brain I added up: low car+raised Jeep with steel bumper= I’m going to t-bone this stupid bitch, my bumper is going to go through her window and I’m going to kill her. While she was not smart enough to check to see if anyone was coming up in my lane, the oncoming lanes were clear, so I tried to go around her. She hit me in my passenger side wheel and sent me spinning. When the Jeep stopped I did the “all body parts present and working” check and got out of the Jeep to see how bad the damage was. I was _furious_ and about to throw up from the adrenaline. Got around to the passenger side to see that the only damage was to my rim and tire - but the Jeep had ripped the front of her car off all the way back to the radiator! Stupid twat tried to argue with the police officer ticketing her, saying she had her turn signal on! The officer congratulated me on my driving, agreeing with me that even though she was in the wrong, it wouldn’t have made me feel any better if I had hurt her. ---
**Author:** ![Schrodinger\_s\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Schrodinger\_s\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schrodinger_s_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/136 "2012-07-06T10:11:25Z")
It’s going to be 102 degrees on Saturday. I’m moving from an un-airconditioned second floor walkup to an un-airconditioned third floor walkup. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/137 "2012-07-06T12:36:24Z")
I have no idea what this is, or where it’s coming from, but something, somewhere at the back of the row of houses on my street is producing a constant high pitched whine. It’s loud, it’s persistant, and it makes it impossible to enjoy being outside. Yesterday, after weeks of soggy evenings, we finally had a nice sunny one- so I thought I’d sit outside with a book… but I forgot the whine. As soon as you open the door, you can just hear an EeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeeeEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeEeeeeeee incredibly annoying noise, my housemate can’t even have the door or window open, because the eeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEE incredibly annoying noise is clearly audible from inside the house if she does. I can’t work out where it’s coming from, so I can’t even go round and ask them to knock it off. I suspect it’s coming from something owned by on older person, as it’s pretty high pitched, and I’d imagine anyone even closer to it would have to be unable to hear it to not go insane. That doesn’t narrow the options down much though. It’s been going for at least 4 days now. ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/138 "2012-07-06T13:03:22Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Consider a female, they don’t have as much history of marking as males. Or, get a kitten that has been fixed before reaching sexual maturity. HA HA HA HA HA! (Points at our 12-year-old otherwise-adorable calico, who sprays as much as a tomcat at times). ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/139 "2012-07-06T13:46:18Z")
I sure have been looking forward to my vacation which starts tomorrow, although it was going to be challenging…driving straight from Florida to Colorado, with maybe a few roadside naps, then a brief attempt at acclimation before strapping on some weight and walking up a couple of mountains. Yes, challenging, but I was ready to try it. So now I have the worst summer cold ever. I’m right at the part where all your snot burns and you cough until you gag. Also, I have to get a lot of work done today. :smack: :mad: ☹ And shit. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2012, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898/140 "2012-07-06T13:48:32Z")
> [@Schrodinger\_s\_Platypus](#): > > It’s going to be 102 degrees on Saturday. I’m moving from an un-airconditioned second floor walkup to an un-airconditioned third floor walkup. You win. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jumpin-jehosaphat-its-july-more-mini-rants/626898.md?page=8)