# Jurassic Park Debates: Robert Muldoon vs. Roland Tembo **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 2, 2011, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001 "2011-09-02T21:29:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/61 "2011-09-06T16:56:58Z")
He’s also read both Grant and Malcolm’s books and knows enough to bond with Grant by trashing Malcolm. This kid was like Alan Grant’s wet dream. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/62 "2011-09-06T17:03:18Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > OK, I now officially love Lex. I fucking HATED the kid in JP III. Really? He went and collected T-Rex piss? And he’s used it enough to know that it attracts the big one with the fin? And he’s been there by himself for weeks? Yet we’re supposed to be scared by the adults’ attempt to survive for like a fucking day? > > FFFFFFFUUUUUUU Actually, the kid I hated most in all the JP movies was Ian’s daughter. She was more annoying than a whole carful of Tims and Lexes, and the whole “let’s defeat the raptor with GYMNASTICS!” thing was just…_ugh_. While we’re on that subject, and please forgive me if this is politically incorrect (I want to have my ignorance fought here–I genuinely don’t know)–but one of the things that gave me a lot of trouble with my suspension of disbelief in \*Lost World \*was Kelly (the daughter). She was supposed to be Ian’s biological child, but she was played by a very dark-skinned African American actress. Even if Ian’s wife was also very dark-skinned, what would the odds be that their daughter wouldn’t have at least a couple of Ian’s traits (lighter dark skin than her mother, for example, or somewhat more mixed-looking features)? Don’t get me wrong–the reasons I found her annoying had nothing to do with her race. She would have been just as annoying no matter what color she was. 😃 But I just had a hard time finding her believable as Malcolm’s daughter. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/63 "2011-09-06T17:09:04Z")
Well [Goldblum](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/56/JeffGoldblum07TIFF.jpg/457px-JeffGoldblum07TIFF.jpg) is of somewhat dark complexion. Olive-skinned I guess. Maybe her mom was African? 😛 But yeah, she was annoying too. I guess kids in the Jurassic Park movies just suck ass in general. Well, Tim was cool. He was the only kid in the movies portrayed realistically… though I’m starting to warm to Lex after the other posters’ arguments. So I guess it’s Newsflash: The Jurassic Park sequels sucked. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/64 "2011-09-06T17:10:25Z")
So, wow, 9 posters liked Roland more to 45 who prefer Muldoon. Maybe we should identify ourselves and start a support group. Then again we might risk ostracism from the rest of the board. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/65 "2011-09-06T17:12:49Z")
Risk? It’s already begun. We know who you are. Like so many raptors we’ve lured you into making your presence known. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/66 "2011-09-06T17:45:54Z")
The kids didn’t bug me so much. I had read the book about a year before the film hit theaters, so I was a bit surprised they reversed the ages, but looking back I think it was a good decision. Lex was now old enough to have a crush on Grant, and Tim was young enough to have that childhood excitement and obsession with dinosaurs. My favorite exchange with the kids was when Grant pretended to get electrocuted by the fence they had to climb. The both scream. Lex: That was _not_ funny. Tim: (laughing) That was hilarious. (or did he say “that was cool.”?) Agreed with **Infovore** on both counts: The T-Rex scene is one of the best scenes in a movie, ever. And still holds up to today. _and_ Ian’s biological child not offering any resemblance to himself, totally took me out of the movie. All I could do as I sat there watching their scenes was wonder how there’s not any _hint_ of european features in her. Nothing racist at all, just very very unlikely. Then she started using gymnastics to fling velociraptors to and fro, and I think I had a very small aneurism. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/67 "2011-09-06T17:50:13Z")
I don’t think they ever noted that his daughter was biologically is. In theory he and his wife could have just adopted a black child. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/68 "2011-09-06T17:50:21Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Risk? It’s already begun. We know who you are. Like so many raptors we’ve lured you into making your presence known. Kamchatka Surprise! “Clevah girrrrrl…” ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/69 "2011-09-06T17:52:45Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I don’t think they ever noted that his daughter was biologically is. In theory he and his wife could have just adopted a black child. Damn, I can’t remember… I’d have to see the movie again, but I thought it was pointed out that she wasn’t an adoption. My only real reasoning is, is that’s the first thing I wondered, and if that’s the case, then why do I get hung up on that minor thing every time. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/70 "2011-09-06T17:54:02Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Risk? It’s already begun. We know who you are. Like so many raptors we’ve lured you into making your presence known. 😕 Has ANYTHING I’ve ever written on this board led you to believe I would respond to this in any way other than putting your assassination in motion? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/71 "2011-09-06T17:54:19Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Damn, I can’t remember… I’d have to see the movie again, but I thought it was pointed out that she wasn’t an adoption. My only real reasoning is, is that’s the first thing I wondered, and if that’s the case, then why do I get hung up on that minor thing every time. I remember when Nick and Eddie see her, they say something like, “Uh do you see any family resemblance here?” But Ian doesn’t say anything about why he has a black daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/72 "2011-09-06T17:57:53Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I remember when Nick and Eddie see her, they say something like, “Uh do you see any family resemblance here?” But Ian doesn’t say anything about why he has a black daughter. I wouldn’t have either. You don’t imagine that Ian have already heard the question a thousand times and been tired of it? Most likely he was happy they had the class not to be nosy. I’m black, and I have seven siblings. My skin is a little darker than hot cocoa. My mother was about my complexion; my father is a little darker, but not much. My oldest brother is light-skinned enough to pass for white (and in fact I rather suspect he does just that); one of my sisters is black is midnight. So the little girl in the second movie didn’t bother me a bit. And I liked her gymnastics too. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/73 "2011-09-06T17:58:48Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Damn, I can’t remember… I’d have to see the movie again, but I thought it was pointed out that she wasn’t an adoption. My only real reasoning is, is that’s the first thing I wondered, and if that’s the case, then why do I get hung up on that minor thing every time. According to Wikipedia, she’s his biological daughter. Apparently the reason she’s black in the movie (she was white in the book) was that she’s an amalgamation of two book characters–Kelly herself and a boy named Arby Benton, who is black. (I have vague memories of this–I did read the book, but I generally prefer the movies to the books for JP stuff.) ETA, after seeing **Skald** ’s post: Okay, ignorance fought then! I still don’t like the character, but it was far more about the gymnastics and just the fact that she was there at all (it’s hard for Malcolm to be edgy and cynical when he has to be protective) than about the race thing. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/74 "2011-09-06T18:03:17Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > According to Wikipedia, she’s his biological daughter. Apparently the reason she’s black in the movie (she was white in the book) was that she’s an amalgamation of two book characters–Kelly herself and a boy named Arby Benton, who is black. (I have vague memories of this–I did read the book, but I generally prefer the movies to the books for JP stuff.) I also read that Spielberg met the actress who played Kelly on the set of a Little Princess and really liked her. So it seems less that they had this idea that she “should” be black but more that the actress he liked happened to be black, which always seemed kind of cool to me. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/75 "2011-09-06T18:18:31Z")
My problem with Roland is that he was created specifically to be this badass dinosaur nemesis. He is to the T-Rex as Moriarty was to Data. And he’s really just Muldoon 2.0. It would have been Muldoon himself, probably, if the first movie didn’t kill him off. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/76 "2011-09-06T20:29:50Z")
On the off chance anybody gives a flip, I’ve started an [IMHO thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=14225692#post14225692) about resemblances between parents and children, based on the sub-discussion here about Ian and his daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Chopper9760](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Chopper9760](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chopper9760)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/77 "2011-09-06T21:45:19Z")
Muldoon’s badass, even in those stupid shorts. He’s the original JP badass, he’s in the first and better movie, he’s paired with better dinosaurs, and he doesn’t have heaps of lines or screen time. It’s really an unfair comparison. Tembo is in a crap movie and written by someone desperately trying to write a badass and failing. Spectacularly. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/78 "2011-09-07T01:37:53Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I went with Roland because I miss Pete Postlethwaite. Unsurprisingly I agree with this. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/79 "2011-09-07T01:51:07Z")
> [@Chopper9760](#): > > Muldoon’s badass, even in those stupid shorts. He’s the original JP badass, he’s in the first and better movie, he’s paired with better dinosaurs, and he doesn’t have heaps of lines or screen time. But could Muldoon fight a guy with one hand literally tied behind his back? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001/80 "2011-09-07T04:08:45Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > But could Muldoon fight a guy with one hand literally tied behind his back? Perhaps not, he’s a lover not a fighter. But I’ll bet he sure as hell could kick some dino ass on the uneven bars with one hand tied behind his back (AND stick the landing). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-debates-robert-muldoon-vs-roland-tembo/595001.md?page=5)