# Jurassic Park III. So many, many issues. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 17, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286 "2004-08-17T19:58:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/21 "2004-08-18T02:11:22Z")
JP2 really lost me when the T-Rex was loose and ate the dog. It can eat as many people as it wants but not the poor doggies! By the way, how did the T-Rex eat all the people on the deck of the boat and in the tiny cabin and then lock itself back in the hold? Oh wait, the thread is for picking on JP3. Didn’t it seem like all the expendable characters were eaten rather early in the movie? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/22 "2004-08-18T02:33:56Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > If [this report](http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=18166) is accurate, you’re not far wrong. The current draft of _Jurassic Park IV_ apparently takes a tremendously goofy leap in order to feature Teenage Mutant Ninja Raptors. I shit you not. Read the link (skip down to the red “review begins here” note). Holy hell. That’s some fucked up shit right there. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/23 "2004-08-18T02:34:49Z")
> [@](#): > > If [this report](http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=18166) is accurate, you’re not far wrong. The current draft of Jurassic Park IV apparently takes a tremendously goofy leap in order to feature Teenage Mutant Ninja Raptors. I shit you not. Read the link (skip down to the red “review begins here” note). Holy flurking shnit! That is the stupidest, most asinine, ludicrous idea I’ve ever heard! Spielberg is dreaming if he thinks even he could pull this off. I mean come on- **“A bad-ass heavily-armed _[color=blue]United Nations_ task force…”[/color]** Yeah right! That’s a good one! 😃 > [@](#): > > JP2 really lost me when the T-Rex was loose and ate the dog. It can eat as many people as it wants but not the poor doggies! What bothered me even more was how blantly politically correct that scene was. In the script it was a German Shepard. But for the film they changed it to a less sympathetic (read oh so evil) Pit Bull. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/24 "2004-08-18T02:49:17Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > If [this report](http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=18166) is accurate, you’re not far wrong. The current draft of _Jurassic Park IV_ apparently takes a tremendously goofy leap in order to feature Teenage Mutant Ninja Raptors. I shit you not. Read the link (skip down to the red “review begins here” note). To me, it really would only be worthwhile to do another sequel if it goes off the deep end like that. I’ll admit to liking the 1st three, but if they do another it would have to be really different to be worth making, IMO. Better a spectacular failure than a boring rehash. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/25 "2004-08-18T03:11:45Z")
Well, UN jokes aside, I think a dino/human hybrid is a terrible idea and would fail miserably. Human/creature hybrids in movies are almost always laughably stupid. Think: [ul] [li]Isle of Dr Moreau (any version)[/li][li]Alien Resurrection[/li][li]The Fly[/li][li]Species[/li][li]Sabretooth & Toad in X-Men[/li][li]Gremlins 2[/li][/ul] Even when other aspects of the film work, the half-human half-animal thing doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/26 "2004-08-18T03:46:08Z")
> [@Hail Ants](#): > > Well, UN jokes aside, I think a dino/human hybrid is a terrible idea and would fail miserably. Human/creature hybrids in movies are almost always laughably stupid. Think: > > [ul] > [li]Isle of Dr Moreau (any version)[/li][li]Alien Resurrection[/li][li]The Fly[/li][li]Species[/li][li]Sabretooth & Toad in X-Men[/li][li]Gremlins 2[/li][/ul] > Even when other aspects of the film work, the half-human half-animal thing doesn’t. Sorry, but The Fly (Goldblum/Davis) is one of the greatest horror films of all time. At no time in this movie is the human/creature hybrid laughably stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/27 "2004-08-18T04:08:45Z")
I think angels, mermaids and werewolves work pretty well in most movies, as do the man-apes of the recent _Planet of The Apes remake_, thanks to Rick Baker’s make-up. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/28 "2004-08-18T04:18:23Z")
My biggest beef with _JPIII_ was with the _Spinosaurus_. While it is true that it was, perhaps, larger on average than was _T. rex_, it was also much more lightly built. An adult tyrannosaur would have had about 2 tons on an adult spinosaur. Plus, spinosaur teeth were more conical in shape, and were not serrated, indicating a probable diet of fish (and sometimes [pterosaurs](http://www.nature.com/cgi-taf/DynaPage.taf?file=/nature/journal/v430/n6995/abs/430033a_fs.html)). It was, in no way, the biggest, baddest kid on the block. The “big fight” between the tyrannosaur and the spinosaur was thus probably the lamest dino-fight I’ve ever seen put to film. Well, OK, maybe not. But it was definitely a :rolleyes: moment. And you’d think Grant would have at least tried to cash his check _before_ the trip. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/29 "2004-08-18T04:21:53Z")
Just how reliable is AICN for this stuff anyway? First there was the claim of Jack Black being cast for a Green Lantern movie (which, as far I know, still hasn’t been verified), and now this proposed script that would make AvP and Catwoman look like cinematic gems. Is there any reason we should take this story as real? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/30 "2004-08-18T05:10:48Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > Why were all the dinosaurs so much more colorful than before? We’re talking the same species that were one shade of green recently. (8 years ago - did I remember that right?). Now they’re green, red, have white stripes, yellow streaks, etc. That’s some speedy evolution. Just remember, any colors or lack of them is pretty much up to human imagination. I am not aware of any dinosauric skin coloration that has survived, fossilized, for 65 million years. Since they resemble lizards, and modern lizards are green, they might have been green also. Or red. Or whatever. Who knows? > [@Tiramisu](#): > > I keep hoping Tea Leoni will get eaten. Me, too. I wouldn’t mind eating her, myself. Although a wig with a bit more hair on top would increase her feminine appeal a little while I was munching her mound. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/31 "2004-08-18T06:12:13Z")
> [@Tiramisu](#): > > I think Ross was trying that humor thing. Well, I thought it was funny. > > Yeah, there’s a lot of problems with the movie, but I agree that it was probably less annoying than JP2. I am always amazed how such highly educated people could be such idiots. They got their degrees from the University of Notre Dame. [sub] I grew up in South Bend, IN, and have had many opportunities to observe the behavior of Domers[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/32 "2004-08-18T08:23:33Z")
> [@teemingONE](#): > > I liked Josie and the Pussycats… Talk about an appropriate Dopername! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/33 "2004-08-18T10:33:39Z")
**JP2** is one of the most frustrating movies I’ve ever seen, to the point that I suspect Spielberg directed it as a experiment in morality-free filmmaking. Not since **Natural Born Killers** have I completely failed to empathize, sympathize of identify with the characters designated by the director as being the “protagonists”. The fact that we were supposed to do so indicates a level of nihilism completely alien to Spielberg’s previous and following ouvre. The moment Pete Posthelwaithe discovered that Vince Vaughn disabled his elephant gun, he should have clubbed him to death with the buttstock. The fact that that little eco-Taliban got away in the end makes absolutely no sense. ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/34 "2004-08-18T11:08:52Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Actually 2 was my favorite of the series despite its stupid moments. You know how something can be so dumb it actually manages to be endearing to some people? You know, like Republicans and the President? Or your attempt at humor? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/35 "2004-08-18T13:35:40Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > • Why were all the dinosaurs so much more colorful than before? **Because the fans whined about how dull they were.** > [@](#): > > • Why do I get the feeling that if there’s a Jurassic Park 4, the Raptors will be wearing smoking jackets and hosting Masterpiece Theater? Couldn’t the writers have ratcheted down their cleverness a little? **No. The fans whined about how dumb they were. Dinosors rulz!** > [@](#): > > • And let’s talk about that cleverness. They were smart enough to set traps, open doors, climb over fences, call for help, etc. So why did they become so stupid at the end? Fooled by the sound coming out of a Raptor skull, emitted right in front of them by their prey? C’mon. And why were they negotiating for the eggs? As soon as those eggs hit the ground, they would have all been dead. **Well, the Stupid White People had to survive _somehow…_** > [@](#): > > • Don’t you think Tea Leoni would have made sure she shut the Aviary door all the way? **No. See above re: SWP.** > [@](#): > > • Is Ellie the daughter of a 4 star General? **No. She’s a paleobotanist in a movie about dinosaurs, which obviously carries _much_ more clout. :rolleyes:** > [@](#): > > • How insulting is it to have the guy that was being attacked by the Pterodactyls show up in a stretcher at the end? **About as insulting as not having Uncle Walt and the Mathematician (sorry, Chaotician :rolleyes:) die at the end of JP1.** > [@](#): > > • Did everyone lose their minds in the last scene as the Pterodactyl were flying away? **Why, yes. Yes, they did.** And my own personal pet peeve: That phone call to Dr. Ellie, early in the movie, when Ellie asked, “Say, remember all those weird sounds they made?” Was it just me, or did everybody in Christendom say to themselves “No… no, actually, I _don’t_ remember all those weird sounds they made, because it _wasn’t in the freaking movie, you morons!_” ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/36 "2004-08-18T14:04:55Z")
Sorry, you lost me when you said _Bring It On_ sucked. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/37 "2004-08-18T15:33:38Z")
A (apparently) low-level employee of the State Department has the cloat to launch a sizable military campaign just because his wife’s ex-boyfriend is stuck on an island with dinosaurs. I’m sure that this happens all the time… ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/38 "2004-08-18T18:44:06Z")
> [@Sir Dirx](#): > > Just how reliable is AICN for this stuff anyway? It depends on whether not the information is based on a spy report received by the site’s staff via email, which can be hard to verify, or if it’s an article written by the site staff, which generally means they talked to somebody and know the material is legit. In this case, the article is the work of “Moriarty” based on a script he had in his hands and for which he knew the provenance. Thus it is solid information that the script for _Jurassic Park IV_, at this stage of development, is about Teenage Mutant Ninja Raptors. (I just love that phrase.) You’re right to take the site’s reports with a grain of salt, but it helps to know how they get their information and how to distinguish between sources. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/39 "2004-08-18T20:04:19Z")
> [@teemingONE](#): > > I liked Josie and the Pussycats… You, sir, disgust me. I hope I shall never meet you. > [@Colophon](#): > > Sorry, you lost me when you said Bring It On sucked. I hope you remain lost for a very long time. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![yellowcakesolid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/cdc98d/32.png) [@yellowcakesolid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowcakesolid)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/40 "2004-08-18T20:25:04Z")
I thought the movie was OK as long as you didn’t listen to the characters talk. Wasn’t there a line stating that the State Department guy worked in the “import/export” business? That sounds like code for CIA to me. I could be totally wrong about that line, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286.md?page=3)