# Jurassic Park III. So many, many issues. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 17, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286 "2004-08-17T19:58:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/41 "2004-08-18T22:25:27Z")
I liked JPIII. It was a tasty little adventure story that had big, scary dinosaurs. It did the fucking job. There are a LOT of movies of which this cannot be said. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/42 "2004-08-18T22:54:01Z")
> [@](#): > > I liked JPIII. It was a tasty little adventure story that had big, scary dinosaurs. It did the fucking job. I’m glad you fucking liked it. I couldn’t get past all those fucking plot holes, but to each his fucking own. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/43 "2004-08-19T03:19:00Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > • Why were all the dinosaurs so much more colorful than before? We’re talking the same species that were one shade of green recently. (8 years ago - did I remember that right?). Now they’re green, red, have white stripes, yellow streaks, etc. That’s some speedy evolution. New scientific theory. There was an dinosaur display at the Boston Museum of Science a couple of years ago (who are we kidding, it’ll be the same for 10 years at BMoS. I’m sure MA Dopers could go read the same thing tomorrow) that said within the past few years that scientists have begun theorizing that dinosaurs were much more colorful than the grays, browns and greens traditionally attributed to them. If it makes you feel better, think that Hammon and Co decided to tweak their genes to add more color. These aren’t the same dinos as in the first movie, after all, and they said that Ugen must have created new dinos after the last island’s disaster. I like all three of the movies. They’re not art or very educational, but they’re fun. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/44 "2004-08-19T03:41:56Z")
Dinosaurs eating people. That’s what it’s all about. Anything more than that is unecessary filler. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/45 "2004-08-19T04:16:58Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Mercifully, my brain has wiped all the details of this movie from my consciousness, but this movie is certainly on my short list for really shitty movies: > > Jurassic Park III > Josie and the Pussycats > Bring It On > > I waste a lot of time in my life, doing things that will never matter. But dammit, these six hours I want back. Troy, I loved all three of these movies. Please post some more movies you hate so I can go rent them. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/46 "2004-08-19T04:51:16Z")
> [@Tiramisu](#): > > By the way, how did the T-Rex eat all the people on the deck of the boat and in the tiny cabin and then lock itself back in the hold? The sensible thing would be than some Raptors got on the ship, too. Which I’m guessing there _were_…in an early draft of the script. But that was cut for time or pacing or clarity or something. And the producers either forget about or didn’t care about explaining how the crew got eaten. Or maybe the entire crew went in the hold to taunt the T-Rex, got eaten, then the severed hand clawed it’s way back to the tiny, unmarred bridge to steer the ship (roughly) back to the right dock. > [@Alessan](#): > > The moment Pete Posthelwaithe discovered that Vince Vaughn disabled his elephant gun, he should have clubbed him to death with the buttstock. The fact that that little eco-Taliban got away in the end makes absolutely no sense. Agreed. Oh so very much agreed. Jabootu calls it the [designated hero](http://www.jabootu.com/lostworldnugget.htm)—“those that a movie chooses as its heroes shall never be held responsible for any deaths caused by their actions.” Likewise, anything the “designated villain” does or believes in is wrong, and must be stopped at all costs. Well, maybe Speilberg was trying to make a surrupticious parody, without telling anyone… (Kinda like _Starship Troopers_ is supposed to be.) No, I don’t believe it, either. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/47 "2004-08-19T06:09:15Z")
> [@](#): > > The moment Pete Posthelwaithe discovered that Vince Vaughn disabled his elephant gun, he should have clubbed him to death with the buttstock. The fact that that little eco-Taliban got away in the end makes absolutely no sense. Even before that. When Vaughn & co. are watching the _evil_ corporate guys setting up camp Vaughn says something about Hammond’s “Plan B”. Which turns out to be sneaking in and letting the captured dinos loose. So all those poor guys, just because they work for ‘the company’, deserve to die?! All those guys with wives & kids for whom this is just a job deserve to be trampled and gored and eaten alive?! I know that you’re supposed to just get caught up in the moment and suspend disbelief, and you do. But it still is outrageous when you think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/48 "2004-08-19T06:22:55Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > IIRC she relied on the “durable perfectly straight branches spaced apart exactly like uneven bars” technique, also seen in **The Mask Of Zorro**. Can you say _Gymkata_? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/49 "2004-08-19T08:25:30Z")
> [@Hail Ants](#): > > Even before that. > > When Vaughn & co. are watching the _evil_ corporate guys setting up camp Vaughn says something about Hammond’s “Plan B”. Which turns out to be sneaking in and letting the captured dinos loose. So all those poor guys, just because they work for ‘the company’, deserve to die?! All those guys with wives & kids for whom this is just a job deserve to be trampled and gored and eaten alive?! And what was so evil about the corporation, anyway? So they wanted to capture dinosaurs for a zoo. So what? It’s not as if they were removing them from their natural environment, becaus dinosaurs don’t _have_ a natural environment. The natural environment for a dinosaur is 65 million years ago, and the natural lifestyle for a dinosaur is _being dead!_ Its not like they were capturing bears or deer, who have a place in the worlds ecosystem and a God-given right to exist, they were capturing genetically modified monsters from beyond the grave! Creatures nature had rightfully discarded! I mean, seriously - were Spielberg and I watching the same movie? Everything the “heroes” did led to loss of human life. First they rescued that T-Rex cub, interfering with a natural order that ensures only a small percentage of animal young should reach adulthood, and in the process kill Richard Schiff; then they let the creatures out of their cages, killing scores of innocent dinosaur hunters; then they prevent the film’s real hero from killing the T-Rex that’s threatening the party; then they get in the way of the San Diego PD who are trying to hunt down that same T-Rex; and finally they help it kill that poor CEO. I don’t mind a film centering on the bad guys - Martin Scorcese did it several time with admirable results. What I do mind is the fimmakers’ strange self-delusion that they were actually the good guys. Show some honesty, people! ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/50 "2004-08-19T09:58:34Z")
Probably they’ll get so fed up with new improved dinosaurs of number IV that they’ll have to introduce dinosaurs like the ones from 65 million years ago, but there’ll be none left so they have to send someone back in time to pick up a couple, and he ends up inadvertently causing the dinoaurs to be wiped out 65 million years, ago so it WAS actually man’s fault, so the “don’t remove them from their natural environment” bit DOES make sense. That’s the only way they’ll get out of this one, I reckon. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286/51 "2004-08-19T10:35:57Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > And what was so evil about the corporation, anyway? So they wanted to capture dinosaurs for a zoo. On top of that…they wanted to take them to the San Diego zoo. And where does one of the heroes work? The _San Diego zoo._ And…was it just me, or did the [Marine Corps AAVs](http://www.fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/land/aavp7a1.htm) that came ashore to rescue the heroes (in III) end up _way_ too close together? And…I didn’t even remember until just now that the Marine rescue was in III, not II. The two sequels just kind of…blurred together. Which is totally unfair and lazy of me—III was mostly just mediocre, not outright lousy. Amazing how a movie can be so “well made,” technically, but fail utterly in “simple” things like plot and writing, isn’t it? Well, that’s Hollywood for you. They could probably craft a piece of navel lint out of a single nanoengineered Gold molecule if they wanted to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jurassic-park-iii-so-many-many-issues/260286.md?page=2)