# Just a bit cruel... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 7, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420 "2000-09-07T22:09:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/81 "2000-09-08T16:23:15Z")
**Tymp** said: > [@](#): > > Not expressing emotion for unfounded fear of reprisal is submissive. That’s a steaming load, my friend. Do you get in every hood’s face when he razzes you on the street? Should you? Does one have to express emotion every time one feels it lest he/she be submissive? Dat’s bullshit, cracker. MR ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/82 "2000-09-08T16:30:04Z")
Yeah, real fucking funny, asshole. Is there some type of law that I haven’t heard about that says you must always smile and be pleasant to strangers? Is there a rule that says you must hand over spare change whenever someone asks? Do you feel that anyone who doesn’t dress or act in a manner you feel is appropriate should be terrorized? How DARE she dress like a yuppie and not smile prettily at you! Would you have tried this little stunt with a large man? Why not? Is it more fun to terrorize someone you could physically harm? Would the added thrill of getting your ass kicked by a man take all of the “yuk yuks” out of your little game? I can hardly wait for your next act. Does it involve small children? You are a disgusting excuse for a human. Oh, and I’m not buying your back peddling bullshit either. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/83 "2000-09-08T16:34:46Z")
**Freak** , Let’s bring an end to this with the following true / false quiz: This story is entirely true. T/F This story is mostly true with some embellishment. T/F I feel remorse for what has transpired. T/F I would do this again, given the same conditions and opportunity. T/F I understand why others find my initial characterization of this woman shallow and offensive. T/F Ahh, **Maeglin**. I don’t endorse getting in anyone’s face. However, I don’t think anyone should suppress readable emotions because of fear. If I think you’re a fool, I will raise my eyebrow incredulously, but will not get in you face or try to teach you a lesson. ---
**Author:** ![Gomez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d78d45/32.png) [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/84 "2000-09-08T16:38:06Z")
I know that I’m probably going to be melted by the resulting flames of this post but I think you guys are reacting just a touch. I admit that it was a mean prank to play and I personally wouldn’t have done it but you guys are talking like this woman was scarred for life or something. So Freak made her nervous and fucked with her head a bit, does he really deserved to be vilified in this manner? And comparing him to Ted Bundy??? What the **FUCK???** Also how about the people who have responded to this thread saying that they found it funny? Are they assholes also? Are they akin to serial killers as well? What’s the deal here? I’ll admit that what Freak did wasn’t a nice thing to do but you guys are jumping on him and tearing him to pieces over an incident which was minor in the extreme. He did the right thing, he gave back the money, he didn’t go on a spending spree. Part of me thinks that even if he had done he wouldn’t get as much grief as he has done. Live and Let live, don’t react to an admittedly mean but ultimately incionsequential prank by comparing an innocent guy to one of the most vile murderers of our time and almost certainly making him feel worse than she did. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/85 "2000-09-08T16:39:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Ahh, Maeglin. I don’t endorse getting in anyone’s face. However, I don’t think anyone should suppress readable emotions because of > fear. If I think you’re a fool, I will raise my eyebrow incredulously, but will not get in you face or try to teach you a lesson. Ok, then we all agree. I think **MerrySquirrels** contended that one should not to provoke anyone whom he think might cause him harm, not to suppress any reaction and stare feetward. All clear then. MR ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/86 "2000-09-08T16:39:58Z")
Backpeddling? What backpeddling? How can I be backpeddling if I said **from the beginning** that I felt guilty about it and I probably shouldn’t have done it? No, you’re right, there’s no law that says she has to be kind. There’s also no law saying I can’t stare at someone, or walk behind them. And it’s not like I was picking on some little old lady. This woman was bigger than me, and probably could’ve kicked my ass. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/87 "2000-09-08T16:40:17Z")
From **Freak** - > [@](#): > > I’m not the type to try to weasel out of something What, pray tell, are you doing now? It seems to me you’re now trying to justify what you did by embellishing on a thread that deserved heat to begin with. Do the right thing. Run to a moderator and have them close this thread. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/88 "2000-09-08T16:41:24Z")
From **Freak** - > [@](#): > > I’m not the type to try to weasel out of something What, pray tell, are you doing now? It seems to me you’re now trying to justify what you did by embellishing on a thread that deserved heat to begin with. Do the right thing. Run to a moderator and have them close this thread. Ya did it before. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/89 "2000-09-08T16:46:55Z")
Gomez: > [@](#): > > And comparing him to Ted Bundy??? What the FUCK??? There are these two fantastic things called reading comprehension and logic. They’re really cool. I suggest you look into them, as you have obviously never heard of either one of them. Freaky implied that one of the reasons the woman shouldn’t have been scared was because it was the middle of the day and in the suburbs. Someone (sorry, don’t remember who) just responded saying that there have been heinous crimes committed everywhere (Ted Bundy given as an example), and the fact that it was the middle of the day in the suburbs does not ensure her safety. No one compared HIM to TED BUNDY. Moron. I think this whole thing sucks, too. Part of that probably comes from the disdain that I sense coming out of Freaky for anyone who he views as “rich”. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/90 "2000-09-08T16:54:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tymp \* > \*\*Oh, great. Now we have the assertion that it is acceptable and right to torment people who do not choose to give up change. That’s fucking brilliant. “The mild scare she got was deserved”? How far does one’s head have to up one’s ass to believe this shit? Hello, you dumb mother fucker! That called extortion. Those who do not give up their possessions are met with adverse consequences? Fuck you, thief. \*\* So, now looking at a person on a bus is “torment” and “extortion”. Please don’t board a bus with me, thanks. I might feel the need to look at you. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/91 "2000-09-08T17:04:57Z")
Thank you Mouthbreather, That was me who pointed out that attacks occur in the daylight as well and referenced Mr. Bundy. FF: Please look back over your assertions again. On the one hand you stated that the woman "knew " you’d followed her off the bus. \*\* and \*\* in fact, after turning around and seeing you, she “screamed”. Then, after you apologized, she said she “wasn’t that scared”. well, no shit corvette. What did you expect her to say? You’d scared her enough to scream out loud, then merely returned her items, approached her another day to apologize. Did you really expect her to say “yea, you scared the shit out of me”? I think her scream speaks well for what she truly felt at the time. Don’t really care if she was/is an asshole in real life, she hadn’t caused you harm, and you caused her harm. Doesn’t matter to me if the harm in question was “life long” (spare me - do you REALLY mean to tell me that as long as the harm I cause some one is of relatively short duration, I am morally free to hurt whomever I choose?). My best advice is to leaveherthefuckalone. and try not to scare people in the future. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/92 "2000-09-08T17:09:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Revtim \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Tymp \* > > \*\*Oh, great. Now we have the assertion that it is acceptable and right to torment people who do not choose to give up change. (snip) That called extortion. Those who do not give up their possessions are met with adverse consequences? Fuck you, thief. \*\* > > So, now looking at a person on a bus is “torment” and “extortion”. Please don’t board a bus with me, thanks. I might feel the need to look at you. \*\* I believe if you check back, Revtim, that Tymp was talking about the the person begging for a quarter, and that anyone assuming that the woman deserved the scare she got for refusing to hand over a quarter, was insinuating that if one does not comply with extortion, they deserve bad consequences. This is getting bad enough without people misreading other’s postings. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/93 "2000-09-08T17:18:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tymp \* > \*\ ***Freak** , > > Let’s bring an end to this with the following true / false quiz: > > This story is entirely true. T/F True. Aside from a few exaggerations to make the story a bit better. > [@](#): > > This story is mostly true with some embellishment. T/F False. There weren’t any embellishments, aside from the aforementioned exaggerations, I’m not sure if that counts. > [@](#): > > I feel remorse for what has transpired. T/F True. In fact, I don’t think you even need to ask this. I stated from the beginning that I felt bad about it. > [@](#): > > I would do this again, given the same conditions and opportunity. T/F False. As I said before, I feel bad about it, and I would take it back if I could. > [@](#): > > I understand why others find my initial characterization of this woman shallow and offensive. T/F False. I feel bad about what I did, but I **still** hate her guts. ---
**Author:** ![TracyMarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@TracyMarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TracyMarie)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/94 "2000-09-08T17:24:28Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by FreakFreely \* > \*\* > As I said before, I feel bad about it, and I would take it back if I could._\* Well, for what it’s worth, that’s plenty good enough for me! Peace, Tracy ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/95 "2000-09-08T17:24:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \* > On the one hand you stated that the woman "knew " you’d followed her off the bus. \*\* and \*\* in fact, after turning around and seeing you, she “screamed”. Then, after you apologized, she said she “wasn’t that scared”. well, no shit corvette. What did you expect her to say? You’d scared her enough to scream out loud, then merely returned her items, approached her another day to apologize. Did you really expect her to say “yea, you scared the shit out of me”? I think her scream speaks well for what she truly felt at the time. You’re right. I actually hadn’t thought of it that way. I guess I was just eager to feel better about it. > [@](#): > > Don’t really care if she was/is an asshole in real life, she hadn’t caused you harm, and you caused her harm. Good point. I dislike her, and I dislike her type, but that didn’t make it right. > [@](#): > > My best advice is to leaveherthefuckalone. and try not to scare people in the future.\*\* Amen. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/96 "2000-09-08T17:28:11Z")
Thank you, **wring** , for clarifying my comments in my absence. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/97 "2000-09-08T17:28:14Z")
You forgot “P.S., Moderators,please close this thread.” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/98 "2000-09-08T17:29:36Z")
The point I’m trying to make is that a lot of people are acting like the guy locked her in his basement and brandished a hard-on at her. **Basically, he looked at her and walked behind her.** If she truly felt she was going to be killed or raped, then I agree she probably didn’t deserve that. If every time a person looks at her or walks behind her she gets terrified out of her mind, I’m not sure how she could function well enough in society to use public transportation. ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/99 "2000-09-08T17:43:09Z")
Thanks Maeglin, and 'pology 'ccepted, Tymp. Just wanted to hop back into this wild ride to say it. And now I’m outta here. This thread went way whacky. Make it stop! ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420/100 "2000-09-08T17:47:03Z")
Close Rev, but not quite. See, it **was** my intention to make her paranoid. It was also my intention to startle her when I tapped her on the shoulder, sorta like when somebody yells “boo”. It’s like when you’re sitting there, and someone keeps looking at you. Now, it could be they’re just looking, it could be that you have something on your face, but still you get a bit paranoid. You rationalize to yourself that it’s probably nothing, but still, your mind plays tricks. It’s the same when someone walks behind you. However, these two things combined can be a bit too much. I never thought I would genuinely scare her. Whether she was genuinely scared or just paranoid and startled, well, who knows? But I realize it was cruel prank, and shouldn’t have been done. Wahoo, I’m not gonna ask to close this thread until I’m sure this has all been cleared up. If people think I’m an asshole, well, that’s fine. But I want to at least **try** to reason them out of that belief. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-a-bit-cruel/32420.md?page=6)