# Just a'swangin' **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 26, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711 "2006-01-26T16:22:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/61 "2006-01-29T15:12:31Z")
The stewardess in a miniskirt a hippie in a leather shirt I started on the way to Naples Row While I’m wondering where it’s at I see a Paris diplomat Call his kids while trying to get back home Baggage car goes quickly by see my face and start to cry Stumble to the lounge to be alone And while I’m trying to get some rest I bite my lips and try my best To fight the pain that’s making me leave home LA International Airport… ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/62 "2006-01-29T15:29:12Z")
…Maybe I lost my memory And just got it back today Rehearsed in my mind are Last minute lines They’re not worth sayin’ I know What’ll I tell Virginia when I get home from Mexico ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/63 "2006-01-29T16:42:44Z")
I wish I was a Teddy bear Not livin’ or lovin’ Or a-goin’ nowhere. I wish I was a Teddy bear And I’m wishin’ that I hadn’t fallen in love with you. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/64 "2006-01-29T16:49:13Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > I wish I was a Teddy bear > Not livin’ or lovin’ > Or a-goin’ nowhere. > I wish I was a Teddy bear > And I’m wishin’ that I hadn’t fallen in love with you. The most glurge-a-riffic country song ever: > [@Red Sovine](#): > > Now I’m not supposed to bother you fellows out there > Mom says you’re busy > And for me to stay off the air > But you see > I get lonely and it helps to talk > 'Cause that’s about all I can do > I’m crippled > And I can’t walk > I came back and told him to fire up that mike > And I’d talk to him > As long as he liked > This was my dad’s radio > The little boy said > But I guess it’s mine and mom’s now > 'Cause my daddy’s dead ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/65 "2006-01-29T17:41:50Z")
Our D - I - V - O - R - C - E becomes final today Me and little J - O - E will be goin’ away I love you both and this will be pure H - E - double L for me Oh, how I wish that we could stop this D - I - V - O - R - C - E ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/66 "2006-01-29T17:42:54Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > One thing I never understood about this song. > > If he’s desperately in love with Felina the Mexican girl {slut, sneeze} > > why does he say later in the song > > “I have it make to Rose’s back door” > > 😃 Rosa’s was the name of the cantina/cafe/restaurante where she worked. One of these songs in this thread was written on the back of a Dixie cup. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/67 "2006-01-29T17:45:25Z")
Goin thru the Big D, don’t mean Dallas I cain’t belive what the judge had to tell us I got the jeep, she got the palace Why didn’t I just learn how to cook? Here, you can carry my wallet, I won’t be needin it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/68 "2006-01-29T17:50:49Z")
More glurge from Dolly Parton (this song used to creep me out as a kid): “Jeannie’s Afraid of the Dark”: > [@Dolly Parton](#): > > Jeannie was always afraid of the dark > And we never could understand why > ’cause we looked after jeannie with the very best of care > Because jeannie was our only child > Perhaps it was death that she was so afraid of > ’cause it took her one dark stormy night > I think we always knew that we’d never see jeannie grown > ’cause it seemed she was destined to die > But on jeannie’s grave, we placed an eternal flame > That glows and never loses it’s spark > And on the darkest night, there’s always a light > ’cause jeannie’s afraid of the dark Gah! She actually used the phrase “dark stormy night”. Oh, and Dolly? Unless Jeannie has x-ray vision (which is not likely seeing as how she’s DEAD), SHE WILL NEVER SEE THE ETERNAL FLAME! ---
**Author:** ![Feydeau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Feydeau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feydeau)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/69 "2006-01-29T17:51:24Z")
He stopped loving her today _[cue non-country symphonic violin section]_ They placed a wreath upon his door And soon they’ll carry him away He stopped loving her Today. (The above song makes little sense, IMHO, if you missed the first line of the lyric: “He said I’ll love you 'til I die.”) ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/70 "2006-01-29T18:11:53Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > More glurge from Dolly Parton (this song used to creep me out as a kid): > > “Jeannie’s Afraid of the Dark”: Me too, and I find it no less creepy as an adult. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/71 "2006-01-29T19:36:28Z")
All my ex’s live in Texas, And Texas is a place I’d dearly love to be. But all my ex’s live in Texas And that’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee or All my exes drive a Lexus A Lexus is just a perfect car for me But all my exes drive a Lexus I drive a beat up Century Your choice. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/72 "2006-01-29T20:57:23Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Rosa’s was the name of the cantina/cafe/restaurante where she worked. Um…yeah I know. Joke? Nice screen name though 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/73 "2006-01-29T22:25:02Z")
Countin’ flowers on the wall that don’t bother me at all Playin’ solitaire ‘til dawn With a pack of 51 Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo Now don’t tell me I’ve nothin’ to do… ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/74 "2006-01-29T22:59:06Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Goin thru the Big D, don’t mean Dallas > > I cain’t belive what the judge had to tell us > > I got the jeep, she got the palace > > Why didn’t I just learn how to cook? > > Here, you can carry my wallet, I won’t be needin it. She got the gold mine, I got the shaft. Yeah, they split it all down the middle And then they give her the better half Now it all sounds kinda funny (ha ha ha) But it hurts too much to laugh She got the gold mine, I got the shaft! ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/75 "2006-01-29T23:01:33Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > The most glurge-a-riffic country song ever: > Now I’m not supposed to bother you fellows out there > Mom says you’re busy > And for me to stay off the air > But you see > I get lonely and it helps to talk > 'Cause that’s about all I can do > I’m crippled > And I can’t walk > I came back and told him to fire up that mike > And I’d talk to him > As long as he liked > This was my dad’s radio > The little boy said > But I guess it’s mine and mom’s now > 'Cause my daddy’s dead Yeah, it’s glurgy all right–and I bawl like a baby every time I hear it! ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/76 "2006-01-30T01:42:12Z")
You picked a fine time to leave me lucille! Four hungry Children, not a crop in the field… and while we’re at it, can you name 3 words that end in gry? hungry is one of them. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/77 "2006-01-30T15:03:08Z")
_Well, I woke up Sunday morning With no way to hold my head that didn’t hurt. And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, So I had one more for dessert. Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes And found my cleanest dirty shirt. Then I washed my face and combed my hair And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day._ and _The judge said son, what is your alibi If you were somewhere else, then you won’t have to die I spoke not a word, thou it meant my life For I’d been in the arms of my best friend’s wife_ …are a couple of my old favorites ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711/78 "2006-01-30T20:23:42Z")
Well, since this thread has degenerated past the point of any hope of redemption 🙂 , I’ll add: What do you get when you play a country song backwards? You get your job back, you get your wife back, you get your truck back, you get your dog back… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-aswangin/341711.md?page=3)