# Just Be Yourself **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 17, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729 "2013-07-17T04:49:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/1 "2013-07-17T04:49:41Z")
I feel like I’m having an epiphany. “Just be yourself.” It’s one of the most cliche phrases that’s ever been used, but the more I think about it, the more it starts to make sense. I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time in my life trying to emphasize one trait or another. For example, I might tell myself, “I need to be more confident, outgoing, quiet, calm, relaxed, aggressive, etc… ad nauseum” I put pressure on myself to exhibit certain traits when it’s not really necessary at all. What’s worse, is that when I didn’t live up to my own expectations, I became angry, frustrated and miserable. And for what? I would have been fine just being myself all along. Honestly, no one really gives a fuck. They either like you, or they don’t. More often than not, they will appreciate the real you, vs. the one thats trying to be something he’s not. What matters much more in life is what you do, not the image you try to portray. Just thought I’d share that with you all. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/2 "2013-07-17T04:53:09Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/3 "2013-07-17T04:53:13Z")
Another example of Things Mom Told Us That Turned Out to be True. Congratulations on coming around to it! And don’t feel bad; it took me over 40 years to finally see the light myself. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/4 "2013-07-17T05:15:54Z")
The way it finally made sense to me was when someone said to me: Yes, be yourself, but be your best self. Dress the way that makes you feel good. Do things that you think are real fun. ---
**Author:** ![X.L.Lent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a5b964/32.png) [@X.L.Lent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X.L.Lent)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/5 "2013-07-17T09:58:51Z")
Is this really a good idea? What if you are naturally mean to others, lazy or have other bad traits? Should you just be yourself or should you fight to change what you are? I suppose that “be yourself” is good advice to those who have no major flaws but for some individuals it may not be the best sort of thing. Imagine it’s the mid 1930’s, you meet Hitler and find him struggling to be a better, kinder person. Would you tell him “Adolf, quit trying to be so damn nice! _Just be yourself._” ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/6 "2013-07-17T10:07:35Z")
I think I’ve only ever heard TWO honest comments in my life, and one of them was: > [@](#): > > You have to be yourself, and it has to be the right self. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/7 "2013-07-17T11:35:16Z")
> [@X.L.Lent](#): > > Is this really a good idea? What if you are naturally mean to others, lazy or > have other bad traits? Should you just be yourself or should you > fight to change what you are? > > I suppose that “be yourself” is good advice to those who have no major > flaws but for some individuals it may not be the best sort of thing. > > Imagine it’s the mid 1930’s, you meet Hitler and find him struggling to > be a better, kinder person. Would you tell him “Adolf, quit trying to be > so damn nice! _Just be yourself._” I think most people are good at heart so it applies. Ill admit this might not be the best advice for a psychopath. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/8 "2013-07-17T11:37:19Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I think I’ve only ever heard TWO honest comments in my life, and one of them was: What was the other one? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/9 "2013-07-17T11:41:14Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > .. +1 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/10 "2013-07-17T12:10:51Z")
To thine own self be true… ? Hmmm… it’s got a familiar ring to it. ---
**Author:** ![Whitney\_Harper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@Whitney\_Harper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whitney_Harper)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/11 "2013-07-17T13:04:14Z")
Yes, just be yourself. Sometimes quiet, reserved people actually have more confidence (inner confidence) than people who are outgoing. There is a misconception that quiet people lack confidence. Quiet people can be very much on top of things! I have nothing against outgoing people, but just be yourself, whatever your personality type. Afterall, it would be incredibly boring if we were all the same. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/12 "2013-07-17T19:09:35Z")
There’s only one thing that I know how to do well, And I’ve often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well And that’s be you. Be what you’re like. Be like yourself. – They Might Be Giants, “Whistling In The Dark” ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/13 "2013-07-17T19:10:47Z")
Yeah, please be yourself, so if you’re an asshole, I know to steer clear. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/14 "2013-07-17T22:13:48Z")
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. mmm ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/15 "2013-07-17T22:17:45Z")
Become what you are -Juliana Hatfield ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/16 "2013-07-17T23:30:44Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > What was the other one? From a , uh, . . . _commercial services provider_ I did business with occasionally, back in the mid-70’s . . . ( _Misogyny warning! Even though it was a female commercial provider who said this!_ ) > [@](#): > > Originally stated by **Commercial Services provider** : > > _Every_ woman has her price. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/17 "2013-07-18T00:11:42Z")
> [@X.L.Lent](#): > > Is this really a good idea? What if you are naturally mean to others, lazy or have other bad traits? Should you just be yourself or should you > fight to change what you are? > > I suppose that “be yourself” is good advice to those who have no major flaws but for some individuals it may not be the best sort of thing. > > Imagine it’s the mid 1930’s, you meet Hitler and find him struggling to be a better, kinder person. Would you tell him “Adolf, quit trying to be so damn nice! _Just be yourself._” People misunderstand the maxim. “Just be yourself” isn’t permission to never change. If your real self is an asshole, then you should change who you are. Stop being an asshole and become a better person. But don’t lie about what you are. Don’t pretend to be a good person if you’re an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/18 "2013-07-18T00:13:18Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Become what you are > > -Juliana Hatfield My favorite variation of this is “Become the person your dog thinks you are.” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/19 "2013-07-18T00:22:12Z")
I tried to be someone else, but they got mad and called the police. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729/20 "2013-07-18T01:56:50Z")
When in university, I sometimes tried to copy other, more successful people. It took me years to learn that that wasn’t really the right way to be doing things. Or perhaps I knew it all along. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-be-yourself/663729.md?page=2)