# Just because you can't say no, doesn't mean I have too!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450 "2008-08-18T17:53:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrknButterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@BrknButterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrknButterfly)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/1 "2008-08-18T17:53:03Z")
I understand that people are conscious about their weight or diet. I get that. Though while I may be one of those people on the days I choose to be, it doesn’t mean that I have to be consciously aware of when you are on your diet or when you aren’t. Secondly, if I bring something into my work area or treat for myself, don’t tell me where I should put it? The story? I work in a cube. I sometimes, okay most days, buy chocolate to keep on my desk as a sweet snack. My treat. I have no problem sharing and most often I do. Though I had a co-worker come in to my cube (while I was away on lunch), staple my candy shut and leave a post it that she things they would be better left in my drawer and out of site. Excuse me? This person will often tell me to “keep it away from her” because she likes sweets and she feels she sometimes has to much. Then don’t come into my cube. My work space. Don’t tell me to take it off my desk and to put it in a drawer because you can’t stop yourself. Friggin rude. In the past I often use to bring in breakfast for everyone. Most people liked it, but because a couple couldn’t say no I was asked not to bring them in for everyone anymore. I never did and probably never will understand that. Don’t bring food in as a treat for everyone in the office because a couple people don’t know will power. P_S_ Leave the shit on my desk alone! If you don’t want any then don’t come in my space! ARGH! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/2 "2008-08-18T18:02:56Z")
I have no words for how rude this was to you. I beg you to send it into Miss Manners, just to get her take on it. Unbelievable. Someone in your office has HUGE boundary issues. \ ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/3 "2008-08-18T18:11:25Z")
Ignore Whoever and provide the chocolate as desired. It’s your desk, and unless you’re doing something stinky, put out all the candy you want. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/4 "2008-08-18T18:16:25Z")
Buy more chocolate and leave it on her desk with a note. “I didn’t open these” Or staple her lips shut. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/5 "2008-08-18T18:20:36Z")
Can you come work in my office? I want breakfast!! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/6 "2008-08-18T18:21:19Z")
I think you should buy several bags of chocolate and leave one open on everyone’s desk except hers. Then maybe buy a candle that gives off a chocolate odor and have a fan blow it in her direction. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/7 "2008-08-18T18:31:41Z")
You mean like one of [these](http://www.target.com/CandleTini-10-oz-Scented-Candle-Chocolate/dp/B000BR3TR8)? ---
**Author:** ![LadyMack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/8 "2008-08-18T18:32:58Z")
Or staple her fingers to her lips and her ass to her chair. That’s a boundary for her. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/9 "2008-08-18T18:34:27Z")
Tell her you licked them all. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/10 "2008-08-18T18:38:03Z")
Unless someone’s got a food allergy, that’s freaking rude. Leave her a note telling her to back off and explain that not everyone has issues with food – and those that do probably wouldn’t benefit from notes like hers (seriously, how the hell does she know you’re not recovering anorexic, or hypoglycemic, or diabetic in need of a quick fix?). ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/11 "2008-08-18T18:41:05Z")
You could just tell her that you won’t offer her any, if she’s worried about her own self control. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/12 "2008-08-18T18:41:14Z")
[QUOTE=Monty] You mean like one of [these](http://www.target.com/CandleTini-10-oz-Scented-Candle-Chocolate/dp/B000BR3TR8)? [/QUOTE] Oh Lord…they really exist?! I hate chocolate. 🙂 Still, this would be a potent weapon for you to use, **BrknButterfly**! [QUOTE=Sigmagirl] Tell her you licked them all. [/QUOTE] You. I think I like you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/13 "2008-08-18T18:45:27Z")
I luuurv the donuts and I really really don’t need to be eating them but some how 4 out of 5 days a week a box finds it’s way to the community table not 8 feet from my desk. Are they tempting? Yes. Do I know how to control myself? Yes. Do I slip once in a while? Yes. Is it someone else’s fault for putting them there? No. Is it my own damn fault for slipping? Yes. This person sounds like they’d molest a co-worker and then blame them for dressing too provacatively. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/14 "2008-08-18T18:53:27Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] This person sounds like they’d molest a co-worker and then blame them for dressing too provacatively. [/QUOTE] I’ve found that only works once per job, at best. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/15 "2008-08-18T19:00:59Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] This person sounds like they’d molest a co-worker and then blame them for dressing too provacatively. [/QUOTE] “The women must be covered from head to toe, or we cannot be blamed if we rape them!” Something like that? ---
**Author:** ![BrknButterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@BrknButterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrknButterfly)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/16 "2008-08-18T19:02:08Z")
[QUOTE=Cat Fight] how the hell does she know you’re not recovering anorexic. [/QUOTE] Oh I beat that a long time ago. :dubious: I am glad to know that I am not being overly sensitive about this. I came in on my lunch and was like, “WTF!” When they came over thinking it was some joke they said, “did you get my note?” and I said, “Yes and I am quite pissed about it.” I’m blunt like that. They said that they didn’t believe it should be in sight of members/customers. I was like, “it has nothing to do with them and it is my desk. I will have candy open on my desk if I want. You don’t like it, then don’t come near my desk!” Then they asked if they felt we should talk to the boss about this. :eek: Wanna see me truly flip the fuck out behind close doors and tell you how I REALLY feel about what you did, then yes. Let’s have a sit down, shall we? ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/17 "2008-08-18T19:07:14Z")
I would make the complaint that “People in the office are entering my work space in my absence and taking liberties w/things I’ve left on my desk. I need to know that items left on my desk will remain as I’ve left them in order to work efficiently.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/18 "2008-08-18T19:09:59Z")
[QUOTE=BrknButterfly] Then they asked if they felt we should talk to the boss about this. :eek: Wanna see me truly flip the fuck out behind close doors and tell you how I REALLY feel about what you did, then yes. Let’s have a sit down, shall we? [/QUOTE] Oh, PLEASE go talk to the boss about this. It’s a win-win…if you “lose,” then you can go mess with stuff on her desk. If you “win,” she looks like an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/19 "2008-08-18T19:22:35Z")
[QUOTE=BrknButterfly] Then they asked if they felt we should talk to the boss about this. :eek: Wanna see me truly flip the fuck out behind close doors and tell you how I REALLY feel about what you did, then yes. Let’s have a sit down, shall we? [/QUOTE] I do better at flipping the fuck out when I’m standing up. YMMV. I wonder how many she ate before she stapled it shut? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/20 "2008-08-18T19:23:55Z")
[QUOTE=wring] I would make the complaint that “People in the office are entering my work space in my absence and taking liberties w/things I’ve left on my desk. I need to know that items left on my desk will remain as I’ve left them in order to work efficiently.” [/QUOTE] I LIKE the way you think. By god, OP, if you don’t take up her offer to go to the boss, I’ll come through the CD drive and do it myself. Fuck her and her mooching self! Who does she think she is? Seriously, does she have psychological issues or what? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450.md?page=2)