# Just because you can't say no, doesn't mean I have too!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450 "2008-08-18T17:53:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/21 "2008-08-18T19:27:01Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Oh, PLEASE go talk to the boss about this. It’s a win-win…if you “lose,” then you can go mess with stuff on her desk. If you “win,” she looks like an idiot. [/QUOTE] You’re wrong about this. The actual truth is that she looks like an idiot either way. ---
**Author:** ![Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a4c791/32.png) [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frustrated_Wonderer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/22 "2008-08-18T19:35:55Z")
Hahahahahahaha What a character your co-worker is. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/23 "2008-08-18T19:57:13Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] You’re wrong about this. The actual truth is that she looks like an idiot either way. [/QUOTE] The problem is, if the OP “loses,” the moocher won’t know she’s an idiot. But the OP will then have free rein to go mess with the moocher’s work area. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/24 "2008-08-18T20:04:14Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] The problem is, if the OP “loses,” the moocher won’t know she’s an idiot. [/QUOTE] True enough. But we will, and that’s good enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/25 "2008-08-18T20:19:51Z")
Some smart guy is going to put Hershey’s syrup on his dick and use the candle/fan thing to lure her in. 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/26 "2008-08-18T20:32:22Z")
[QUOTE=BrknButterfly] Then they asked if they felt we should talk to the boss about this. :eek: Wanna see me truly flip the fuck out behind close doors and tell you how I REALLY feel about what you did, then yes. Let’s have a sit down, shall we? [/QUOTE] First off: I’m with you - this is truly FUBARed reasoning. Secondly: I really hope you’re using they as a way to avoid giving any gender clues about this fuckwicket. Because if there’s more than one person in your workplace who thinks that was a reasonable thing to do I’d want to bail out. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/27 "2008-08-18T20:38:57Z")
The first time I read this all I saw was someone coming in and saying “Ooh, keep those away from me.” And while that would in itself be annoying it could almost be a joke (an office joke; work jokes don’t have to be funny). But actually in your cube enough to see your chocolates and with the nerve to go into your space and fool with your stuff? Really? _Really?_ I get a little grumpy if someone goes into my cube and takes a pen; I’d still be staring slackjawed at someone who stapled my snack closed. What if you put a plate of cookies in the break room? Would she throw them away because they were too much of a temptation for her weak little mind? ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/28 "2008-08-18T20:44:21Z")
You could always bake some cookies or brownies and go around offering them to people. Then when you get to her turn (preferably in front of as many people as possible), say: “None for you X! I know you’re trying to watch your figure!” Be sure to say this with a cheerful and friendly smile on your face. Then keep the leftover cookies on your desk for people to come by and have if they want one. The smell alone will drive her slightly mad. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/29 "2008-08-18T20:52:31Z")
[QUOTE=chacoguy420] Some smart guy is going to put Hershey’s syrup on his dick and use the candle/fan thing to lure her in. 😉😃 [/QUOTE] Some smart guy should go to Hershey’s and propose an ad campaign to have the state legislature guarantee workers the right to have chocolate at work. Like the NRA campaign about guns, but much more sensible. While they’re at it, there should be another campaign for a Constitutional Amendment – giving all Americans the right to own and bear chocolate. Who could vote against it? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/30 "2008-08-18T20:57:32Z")
[QUOTE=Sigmagirl] Tell her you licked them all. [/QUOTE] Nah. Tell her you stuck one or two up your butt for just a moment. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/31 "2008-08-18T21:24:15Z")
I think their question about whether or not you all should go to the boss about this is a bluff. The gal is probably thinking the OP wouldn’t want to go to the boss. Their thinking is so self righteous they figure the OP will know they can’t win, after all “Wah, they’re taunting me!” or “Wah, they’re creating a hostile work environment” If it was me, they’d see hostile when we all gathered in the office. But luckily I don’t have to worry about it, because, as a baker, I work with chocolate every day! ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/32 "2008-08-18T21:32:18Z")
It doesn’t sound like you get along very well with this person, but just on the off chance that it’s someone you sometimes like, consider handling this in a friendly way. Since she has no self-control, tell her that you’re going to keep the candy on your desk and she is \*absolutely not \* allowed to have any. Sometimes that works for people. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/33 "2008-08-18T21:48:47Z")
[QUOTE=Monty] You mean like one of [these](http://www.target.com/CandleTini-10-oz-Scented-Candle-Chocolate/dp/B000BR3TR8)? [/QUOTE] Unfortunately, my monitor does not have scratch’n’sniff capability. The closest I have to it is an old copy of _The Leather Goddesses of Phobos_ game, which came with a S’N’S card. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/34 "2008-08-18T21:51:26Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] The closest I have to it is an old copy of _The Leather Goddesses of Phobos_ game, which came with a S’N’S card. [/QUOTE] Do I really want to know…? ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/35 "2008-08-18T22:01:42Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Do I really want to know…? [/QUOTE] From what I remember of the game, probably not. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/36 "2008-08-18T22:05:13Z")
[QUOTE=Q.E.D.] Do I really want to know…? [/QUOTE] Don’t take my word for it…look it up in Wikipedia. The only scents that I really remember are pizza, mothballs, and perfume/cologne. ---
**Author:** ![BrknButterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@BrknButterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrknButterfly)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/37 "2008-08-18T22:11:09Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] I really hope you’re using they as a way to avoid giving any gender clues [/QUOTE] Exactly. It’s just one person and it is a small office. Well I was trying anyways. I just read back and saw in one sentence I gave it away. :smack: I was venting and tend not to go back and re-read. Not to mention that our internet is tracked, so I am sure if they looked at my history and saw the thread it wouldn’t take them long. [QUOTE=Gala Matrix Fire] It doesn’t sound like you get along very well with this person, but just on the off chance that it’s someone you sometimes like, consider handling this in a friendly way. [/QUOTE] Actually we get along better now then we ever did. In the beginning there was such a personality conflict we had meetings with our boss weekly to try to work through it. It was hard and challenging, but we found a common ground. So when this happened and they saw how pissed I was, they reverted to the meetings thinking that it would probably be a good outlet. They know I have space issues. They use to come right into my cube and go through my mini filing drawers to get something. Could have been a envelope or a pen. That was one of the issues. It’s my space. Don’t just barge in. So when I wasn’t there and they not only came into my space and moved or took something. They took MY snack from MY desk and stapled the friggen thing closed. I am not even kidding, there was like 10 staples. Then leave a post it note? They knew they crossed the line because 30 minutes later they said that they should take class that teaches thinking something out fully before actually doing it. Argh. Just frustrating. I know if I did that in their space they would tweak. Hell they already have. When I knock on the door for a work related question I sometimes get the roll of the eyes and the look of annoyance on their face. I am sure tomorrow they will be right back in there looking for and eating the same candy that they scolded me for having out. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/38 "2008-08-18T22:35:19Z")
Jesus–“they” sound like they have more issues than Cosmo. Are you sure they’re not a bully in a passive/aggressive way? Going through your FILES? I don’t work a desk job, but man o man, that would make me see red. There is no way that is allowable, is there? :eek: :mad: No wonder you don’t get along. I’d have killed “them” long ago. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/39 "2008-08-18T22:39:51Z")
We know it’s a woman already, cut out this “they” crap. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450/40 "2008-08-18T22:40:51Z")
[QUOTE=Santo Rugger] We know it’s a woman already… [/QUOTE] That’s what “they” want you to think. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-because-you-cant-say-no-doesnt-mean-i-have-too/460450.md?page=3)