# Just caught my 14yo son smooch'n with his girlfriend. (Need answer fastish) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000 "2012-06-22T23:45:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/21 "2012-06-23T09:53:52Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > [Here ya go.](http://www.google.com/imgres?start=130&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1T4GZGN_enUS483US483&biw=1093&bih=490&addh=36&tbm=isch&tbnid=cfgwEuNwLJSPDM:&imgrefurl=/pictures/Grammar_Nazi639.htm&docid=zISocc0G5B5M7M&imgurl=/pictures/Grammar_Nazi639.jpg&w=600&h=343&ei=Vo7lT7_pBsOk6gHLo_HgDg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=484&vpy=180&dur=4490&hovh=170&hovw=297&tx=114&ty=96&sig=109701921376278378163&page=9&tbnh=137&tbnw=213&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:130,i:112) I’m not a genius, but thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/22 "2012-06-23T11:12:11Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > Let’s focus on the important issue here: > > “smooch’n”? What in the world is this? Do you believe that the apostrophe is supposed to go there? If you want to spell the g-droppin’ version of “smooching”, it works like this: smoochin’. The apostrophe goes where the missing g would be. I assume it’s supposed to be a phonetic spelling of the pronunciation. It seems fine considering the medium and the actual word used. To **Shakes:** “_I’m telliiiiing!_” Need I say more? ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/23 "2012-06-23T14:19:51Z")
Another vote for ‘What’s the big deal?’ If they’d been doing something that was age-inappropriate, then maybe the talk with the other parents would be needed - but kissing, especially with an established girlfriend/boyfriend, is totally age-appropriate for 14-year-olds. Definitely do the speech that Left Hand of Dorkness suggested. But in your place, I’d assume that the other parents assume some kissing is getting done. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/24 "2012-06-23T15:13:17Z")
Besides, maybe the daughter would like to be the one to share “This boy kissed me” information with her mother rather than having it reported via gossip. > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I would hope her parents and you would already be assuming that kissing is occurring if they are calling themselves boyfriend and girlfriend. No need to talk to her parents about it. To be fair on this point, my son is 13 and “couples” at his school call themselves boyfriend/girlfriend because they casually talk twice a week in the hall and send some texts. My son came home one day reporting that he had a girlfriend. They hadn’t gone on a single date yet but they were dating. A week (and one movie) later, they had “broken up”. Kids these days don’t use the term like they did in my day. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/25 "2012-06-23T15:18:53Z")
Don’t say anything. It’s perfectly natural, and they’re gonna do it regardless. No big deal. Thank God you didn’t catch him kissing one of his male friends instead of her! ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/26 "2012-06-23T15:28:06Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Thank God you didn’t catch him kissing one of his male friends instead of her! Shhhh! did you hear that? the sound of can of worms being opened! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bozuit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/edb3f5/32.png) [@Bozuit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bozuit)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/27 "2012-06-23T16:01:45Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > Shhhh! did you hear that? the sound of can of worms being opened! 😃 Maybe **terentii** just really want to see wants to see the son get married some day. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/28 "2012-06-26T09:29:50Z")
If it doesn’t bother you, there’s no reason to tell. However, if they are that type of parent and they wind up asking you, don’t lie. I’ve had kids do a lot of things while under my care that was as harmless as this. Telling on them when it’s unnecessary just weakens their trust in you. No need to do that for harmless things. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/29 "2012-06-26T10:00:22Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > And if she doesn’t want to do the things you want to do, then you don’t get to pressure her, which includes begging, nagging, trying to lead her into it, or any of that." I had my first ‘no means no’ conversation/monologue with the Firebug when he was four and a half. He wanted to kiss and hug one of his girl friends, and she didn’t want any part of it, so I laid down the law. It’s taken a couple more repetitions since then, but I think it’s sunk in, for the time being at least. And this way, when that later monologue comes up, this part of it will be repetition and reinforcement, rather than some new idea. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/30 "2012-06-26T10:54:38Z")
The only thing to do is high five your son. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/31 "2012-06-26T11:57:20Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Besides, maybe the daughter would like to be the one to share “This boy kissed me” information with her mother rather than having it reported via gossip. > To be fair on this point, my son is 13 and “couples” at his school call themselves boyfriend/girlfriend because they casually talk twice a week in the hall and send some texts. My son came home one day reporting that he had a girlfriend. They hadn’t gone on a single date yet but they were dating. A week (and one movie) later, they had “broken up”. Kids these days don’t use the term like they did in my day. Some do, some don’t. My thirteen year olds girlfriend lasted three months plus and involved lots of smooch’n. And a talk on birth controls and STDs. Which isn’t that different than when I was thirteen and some kids talked on the phone a lot for a few weeks, and some kids became parents. Kids “grow up” at such dramatically different rates . ---
**Author:** ![kombatminipig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5ac83/32.png) [@kombatminipig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kombatminipig)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/32 "2012-06-26T13:47:45Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > The only thing to do is high five your son. This. And a family pack of condoms and a guide on how to buy more. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/33 "2012-06-26T14:10:18Z")
Where I come from, your next move is to invite their family over for Sunday Dinner. This is all the acknowledgment required to announce that the couple has moved to “dating” rather than “friends.” ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/34 "2012-06-26T14:23:44Z")
> [@Arabella\_Flynn](#): > > I’m having trouble understanding why it would even occur to you to tell anyone in the first place. You caught them kissing in the pool, not banging on the dining room table. Now, THAT would require a stern warning for all parties involved. We _eat_ at that table! > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > If you prefer not to see them doing what you should assume they’re doing when no parents are in the room - you could make sure to make noise so they know you’re coming. Whistle, sing, clank, or bang your way down the hall or through the door. Ah, yes, having teenagers in the home is a lot like walking in a known bear habitat. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/35 "2012-06-26T14:48:23Z")
> [@kombatminipig](#): > > This. > > And a family pack of condoms and a guide on how to buy more. I prefer the ‘keep it in your pants’ speech. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/36 "2012-06-26T15:24:53Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I prefer the ‘keep it in your pants’ speech. Yes, absolutely, do that. But do both. Don’t let a mistake (however bad) become a lifetime commitment through ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/37 "2012-06-26T15:42:22Z")
If your “hey guys come on” was delivered as more of a time and place reminder than an “eew! PDA!”, then your reaction was appropriate and all that is necesary. Any more than that, and I think you owe your son and his friend an apology. ---
**Author:** ![lance\_strongarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@lance\_strongarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lance_strongarm)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/38 "2012-06-26T15:44:15Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Parents of the daughter dropped her off earlier this afternoon. > > The kids were out back swimming in the pool. (At least they were supposed to be.) I walk out back about to fire up the grill. And that’s when I caught them kissing in the pool. > > Not wanting to embarrass them, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. All I said was: “Hey guys, come on now.” > > Now I’m wondering if I need to tell the parents when they pick her up tonight. To be honest, it really wasn’t all that bad. Very mild. Basically what you would expect from kids that age. > > So should I tell the parents? > > To me, it’s no big deal. But then again, I’ve only been the father of two boys. I’m not entirely sure if I’d feel the same if I had a daughter. > > It’s a double standard, I know. > > I only question this because I don’t want the parents freaking out and forbid their daughter from ever seeing my son again. Thus making my son a very sad little man. > > Or, I don’t know. Maybe I’m over thinking the situation. No. Do not tell anyone. It was just kissing. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/39 "2012-06-26T19:18:50Z")
> [@Bozuit](#): > > Maybe **terentii** just really want to see wants to see the son get married some day. 😛 **EEEEEUUUUUUUWWWWWW!!!** Marriage is **evil!!!** :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Tad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tad)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/40 "2012-06-26T19:26:29Z")
You’re going to rat out your son to his girlfriend’s parents? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000.md?page=3)