# Just caught my 14yo son smooch'n with his girlfriend. (Need answer fastish) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 22, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000 "2012-06-22T23:45:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/41 "2012-06-26T20:07:32Z")
> [@Arabella\_Flynn](#): > > I’m having trouble understanding why it would even occur to you to tell anyone in the first place. You caught them kissing in the pool, not banging on the dining room table. > [@Uzi](#): > > I’m imagining the conversation with the girl’s parents over the latter activity. I could see myself trying to make some lame joke to lighten the mood saying at least there wasn’t a gag ball or gimp suit involved.😃 At least it wasn’t during dinner. ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/42 "2012-06-26T20:16:50Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Parents of the daughter dropped her off earlier this afternoon. > > The kids were out back swimming in the pool. (At least they were supposed to be.) I walk out back about to fire up the grill. And that’s when I caught them kissing in the pool. > > Not wanting to embarrass them, I didn’t make a big deal out of it. All I said was: “Hey guys, come on now.” > > Now I’m wondering if I need to tell the parents when they pick her up tonight. To be honest, it really wasn’t all that bad. Very mild. Basically what you would expect from kids that age. > > So should I tell the parents? > > To me, it’s no big deal. But then again, I’ve only been the father of two boys. I’m not entirely sure if I’d feel the same if I had a daughter. > > It’s a double standard, I know. > > I only question this because I don’t want the parents freaking out and forbid their daughter from ever seeing my son again. Thus making my son a very sad little man. > > Or, I don’t know. Maybe I’m over thinking the situation. JMHO, if I am allowing my DD to be at your house, I have expectations that youre parenting. I have 3 girls, and if my DD15 came home with an event, I would be an unhappy, angry, aggressive father banging on your door. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/43 "2012-06-26T20:21:08Z")
> [@dngnb8](#): > > I have 3 girls, and if my DD15 came home with an event, I would be an unhappy, angry, aggressive father banging on your door. I can’t even tell what word you were trying to retrieve when you typed _event_. ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/44 "2012-06-26T20:26:05Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I can’t even tell what word you were trying to retrieve when you typed _event_. An event could be many things. Sex, attempted sex, unwanted advances, groping, pregnancy etc. If my daughter is upset, I am. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/45 "2012-06-27T00:59:18Z")
> [@dngnb8](#): > > An event could be many things. Sex, attempted sex, unwanted advances, groping, pregnancy etc. > > If my daughter is upset, I am. I am also the conservative father of daughters. If my fifteen year old gets kissed while swimming at boyfriends house I couldn’t care less - lighten up dude. But like you, if its something unwanted then I do also expect parenting. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/46 "2012-06-27T01:02:58Z")
Why would you think your daughter would be upset about kissing her boyfriend? From what I remember of being 14, that’s all girls want to do. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/47 "2012-06-27T01:17:11Z")
While you’re having the “keep it in your pants, but if you don’t, use condoms” talk, you might, depending on your personal beliefs and values, also add in something about self-respect, respect for the girl and her values, and the benefits of waiting to have sex until he’s a little older and more committed to a relationship (or, depending on your personal beliefs and values, married). Not that it would do any good, necessarily, but it doesn’t hurt to bring up the topic. And not that a fourteen-year-old kissing today is necessarily going to be having sex tomorrow. It just doesn’t hurt for him to hear from his dad that it’s okay for a boy not to be trying to get laid at any and every opportunity. Depending, of course, on your beliefs and values. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/48 "2012-07-07T11:15:11Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > While you’re having the “keep it in your pants, but if you don’t, use condoms” talk, you might, depending on your personal beliefs and values, also add in something about self-respect, respect for the girl and her values, and the benefits of waiting to have sex until he’s a little older and more committed to a relationship (or, depending on your personal beliefs and values, married). Not that it would do any good, necessarily, but it doesn’t hurt to bring up the topic. And not that a fourteen-year-old kissing today is necessarily going to be having sex tomorrow. It just doesn’t hurt for him to hear from his dad that it’s okay for a boy not to be trying to get laid at any and every opportunity. Depending, of course, on your beliefs and values. 🙂 Very true. IMHO, teenagers are way too young to become parents. If my 21-year-old roommate had kept it in his pants four years ago, he wouldn’t have quite so much stress in his life. (On the other hand, he has a beautiful daughter he loves very much, but he has clearly no idea how to be a good role model for her. Nor was he was prepared for how his life would change.) ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/49 "2012-07-07T15:09:35Z")
Him: Pat on the back, and a hearty “Atta Boy!” Her: Scarlet A. Otherwise, act like you didn’t see it. Mind your own business, which this ain’t. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/50 "2012-07-07T17:13:58Z")
Meh. come back and post when you catch the girl giving your boy a blow job. Now would you report that to her parents ? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/51 "2012-07-07T17:16:46Z")
Time for a talk maybe, otherwise not a big deal. Your kid is growing up. ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/52 "2012-07-08T00:14:45Z")
At fourteen, I would hope that they’ve already progressed beyond kissing, otherwise they’re behind the curve in social and sexual maturity. Intercourse may or may not be right for them at this point but 3rd base is expected. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/53 "2012-07-08T05:12:51Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > The only thing to do is high five your son. Exactly! ---
**Author:** ![ScarletNumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@ScarletNumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScarletNumber)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/54 "2012-07-08T06:15:54Z")
> [@dngnb8](#): > > JMHO, if I am allowing my DD to be at your house, I have expectations that youre parenting. I have 3 girls, and if my DD15 came home with an event, I would be an unhappy, angry, aggressive father banging on your door. And if you came to my door in such a manner, rest assured that the police would be called. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/55 "2012-07-08T10:57:16Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > Why would you think your daughter would be upset about kissing her boyfriend? From what I remember of being 14, that’s all girls want to do. Not to frighten worried parents but there is this old thread. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313652&highlight=daughter+oral+home](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313652&highlight=daughter+oral+home) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/56 "2012-07-08T11:11:28Z")
> [@Icerigger](#): > > Not to frighten worried parents but there is this old thread. > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313652&highlight=daughter+oral+home](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313652&highlight=daughter+oral+home) Yeah, 14 year olds smooching is no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/57 "2012-07-08T11:16:12Z")
> [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](#): > > At fourteen, I would hope that they’ve already progressed beyond kissing, otherwise they’re behind the curve in social and sexual maturity. Intercourse may or may not be right for them at this point but 3rd base is expected. I dunno. If I had a 14-year-old son, and heard about him having sex, I’d kick his ass. Condoms or no condoms. 16, less so. 18, he’s a grown man, but I’d still advise him to wait until marriage. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/58 "2012-07-08T13:47:16Z")
> [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](#): > > At fourteen, I would hope that they’ve already progressed beyond kissing, otherwise they’re behind the curve in social and sexual maturity. Oh, nonsense. Some kids that age have progressed beyond kissing, some have not, some haven’t even been kissed yet, and there’s nothing whatsoever about just getting to kissing at 14 that is in the slightest bit worrisome. ---
**Author:** ![the\_apples\_fell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@the\_apples\_fell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_apples_fell)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/59 "2012-07-08T17:09:13Z")
I wouldn’t call the parents over kissing, but you can figure that they have progressed well beyond just kissing and that now may be a good time to give him “the talk”. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2012, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000/60 "2012-07-08T18:27:22Z")
> [@the\_apples\_fell](#): > > I wouldn’t call the parents over kissing, but you can figure that they have progressed well beyond just kissing and that now may be a good time to give him “the talk”. Yeah, which is why it wouldn’t be a bad idea to clue the girl’s parents in as well, in case SHE hasn’t had The Talk. Some parents think The Talk comes when the girl’s period does, and ends there. They need a little more than that. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-caught-my-14yo-son-smoochn-with-his-girlfriend-need-answer-fastish/626000.md?page=4)