# Just cause I would kill a pet to save a human doesnt make me Hitler! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 1, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218 "2007-03-01T21:29:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/81 "2007-03-02T03:24:11Z")
[QUOTE=Dob] In other news, I am not now, nor have I ever been Hitler. [/QUOTE] Whatever you say, mustache boy. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/82 "2007-03-02T04:05:36Z")
[QUOTE=Dob] In other news, I am not now, nor have I ever been Hitler. [/QUOTE] “Mr. Dob, is it true that you are in fact Pol Pot?” “No comment.” ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/83 "2007-03-02T04:10:17Z")
If **Dob** ’s Hitler, then surely he knows the secret Nazi handshake. On three. Ok 1, 2, 3, go! No no NO, that’s not it at all. You are definitely not Hitler. What kind of poser are you? What… what are you all looking at me funny for? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/84 "2007-03-02T04:49:09Z")
Don’t be stupid, be a schmarty! ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/85 "2007-03-02T05:36:16Z")
[QUOTE=Telemark] No, to kill a cat _properly_ requires special tools. [/QUOTE] Not necessarily. There is, after all, more than one way to skin one. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/86 "2007-03-02T05:37:41Z")
When I kill cats, I usually prefer a giant sledgehammer. Of course, the hard part is pinning them down long enough to make an accurate swing. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/87 "2007-03-02T05:59:30Z")
This OP reminds me of one of our household quotes: "PETA is an idiot.’’ ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/88 "2007-03-02T06:23:16Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] When I kill cats, I usually prefer a giant sledgehammer. Of course, the hard part is pinning them down long enough to make an accurate swing. [/QUOTE] C’mon, that’s what the nail gun is for. > [@pravnik](#): > > Oh for God’s sake, of course the dolphin isn’t riding the dog. Just the monkey and the baby are riding dogs. A dolphin riding a dog would just be ridiculous. Of couse dolphins don’t ride dogs. Dolphins ride horses! Or is it horses that ride dolphins? I forget. Where’s that thread…? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/89 "2007-03-02T07:05:18Z")
It’s always a dog. A dog is too easy; everyone thinks dogs are cute, so it’s easy to take their side over the side of some damn kid in the street. So, after starting off with the “dog v. kid” example, replace the dog with each consecutive item in this list, and see where your PETA friend eventually draws the line and saves the kid: [ul] [li]cat[/li][li]gerbil[/li][li]squirrel[/li][li]pigeon[/li][li]chicken[/li][li]trout[/li][li]jellyfish[/li][li]Chicken McNugget[/li][li]stinkbug[/li][li]petri dish containing amoebic dysentery[/li][li]Regis Philbin[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/90 "2007-03-02T07:15:03Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] Is this scenario really that rare? Dog gets loose and runs into the street and kid, without thinking, runs after it like he’s chasing a ball. I thought one of the first rules of third-world driving was “if you see a chicken in the road, hit the brakes, because a child is going to dart out right after it.” [/QUOTE] Let me quote the most important part, with emphasis. > [@](#): > > It is rare to the point of non-existence for a person to be faced with a choice that has the **death** of either a pet or a child as the **necessary outcome.** I have no idea how many times a dog gets loose and is followed into the street by a child. What matters is how many times the driver of a car is forced to make a decision that will kill one or the other, with no other outcome possible. ---
**Author:** ![straight\_man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/straight_man/32/3027_2.png) [@straight\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_man)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/91 "2007-03-02T08:06:09Z")
From a Dilbert cartoon: What do you call a dog that’s been run over by a steamroller? Answer:Spot. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/92 "2007-03-02T08:50:23Z")
[QUOTE=BraheSilver] Of couse dolphins don’t ride dogs. Dolphins ride horses! [/QUOTE] No, no, they don’t ride dogs **or** horses. They ride tripods ! Great and terrible war machines made of unearthly metals from beyond the stars, armed with weapons mere human minds cannot comprehend. Soon, when the stars are right, dread Cthulhu their Master shall awaken, and humanity shall go mad beneath his awful will. Then the dolphins will stride upon the land in their great war machines, and unleash terrible destructive energies upon the mad remnants of humanity ! All of Man’s works will be laid waste, and not a single pathetic human shall survive the cleansing flame of cetacean fury ! ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/93 "2007-03-02T08:56:22Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] Surely you mean the terrierists? [/QUOTE] Afghans!!! ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/94 "2007-03-02T09:33:26Z")
[QUOTE=Max Torque] It’s always a dog. A dog is too easy; everyone thinks dogs are cute, so it’s easy to take their side over the side of some damn kid in the street. So, after starting off with the “dog v. kid” example, replace the dog with each consecutive item in this list, and see where your PETA friend eventually draws the line and saves the kid: [ul] [li]cat[/li][li]gerbil[/li][li]squirrel[/li][li]pigeon[/li][li]chicken[/li][li]trout[/li][li]jellyfish[/li][li]Chicken McNugget[/li][li]stinkbug[/li][li]petri dish containing amoebic dysentery[/li][li]Regis Philbin[/li][/ul] [/QUOTE] I would definitely swerve towards the jellyfish or the trout. Unless the street was flooded, they wouldn’t last long anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/95 "2007-03-02T10:01:24Z")
But what if you had to choose between a Snoop Dog and an Eminem dressed as child? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/96 "2007-03-02T10:42:51Z")
I’d need a bigger car, I don’t think mine would be able to survive a crash against Snoop’s blink-ladden body. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/97 "2007-03-02T11:41:45Z")
Hmm. [QUOTE=Nava] **I** ’d need **a** bigger car, I **do** n’t think mine would be able to su **r** viv **e** a crash against Snoop’s **b** l **in** k- **lad** d **en** body. [/QUOTE] :dubious: [QUOTE=Nava] **I** **ador\*\*\*\*e** **b\*\*\*\*in** **lad\*\*\*\*en**. [/QUOTE] :eek: I’m not pointing fingers, I’m just sayin’… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/98 "2007-03-02T11:53:18Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] I’ **m** **not** pointing fing **ers** , **I’m** just s **a** yin’… [/QUOTE] Hmmm . . . **mnotserI’ma**. . . **I’m a monster ! !** :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/99 "2007-03-02T12:09:12Z")
[QUOTE=BraheSilver] Of couse dolphins don’t ride dogs. Dolphins ride horses! Or is it horses that ride dolphins? I forget. Where’s that thread…? [/QUOTE] You mean like [this](http://www.cetacean-creations.com/xphins/horsefem.jpg)? (NSFW) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218/100 "2007-03-02T12:26:38Z")
[QUOTE=Telemark] No, to kill a cat _properly_ requires special tools. [/QUOTE] But isn’t there more than one way to skin a cat? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-cause-i-would-kill-a-pet-to-save-a-human-doesnt-make-me-hitler/394218.md?page=6)