# Just check my groceries, please. Without the fucking commentary. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801 "2011-02-01T18:23:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/21 "2011-02-01T20:20:34Z")
Tonic water cures cramps? ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/22 "2011-02-01T20:23:49Z")
I was so worried I was going to get this kind of commentary when I realized I was in line with just a steak and some rat poison. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/23 "2011-02-01T20:28:55Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Tonic water cures cramps? Quinine supposedly can, though it’s debatable if there’s enough quinine in tonic water to matter. I suppose if you were chugging 20 bottles of it… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/24 "2011-02-01T20:29:11Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I had the customer behind me once give me the strangest stare when I was buying condoms and pancake mix. > [@tdn](#): > > There’s a baby batter joke in there somewhere. Win. I saw some poor fellow buying Imodium and laundry detergent. Imagine what that cashier would have to say. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/25 "2011-02-01T20:37:44Z")
Jim Carrey in _Me, Myself and Irene_: > [@](#): > > Hank Evans: “Vagiclean,” huh? What’s the matter, honey? Little extra cheese on the taco? > Mrs. Bittman: Excuse me? > Hank Evans: No, excuse me. There’s no tag on this. > [grabs microphone] > Hank Evans: Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That’s Vagiclean. We’ve got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She’s baking a loaf of bread and I think it’s sourdough. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Presidente](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@El\_Presidente](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Presidente)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/26 "2011-02-01T20:44:30Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > And how much did that cashier weigh? What I would consider to be an acceptable weight for a female of her age. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Presidente](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@El\_Presidente](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Presidente)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/27 "2011-02-01T20:46:01Z")
> [@Tahssa](#): > > Well you are a piece of shit so I would embarrass you too. Pieces of shit like you should not leave the house. Do you know any other phrases other than “piece of shit” or is your vocabulary that limited? ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/28 "2011-02-01T20:50:53Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Win. > > I saw some poor fellow buying Imodium and laundry detergent. Imagine what that cashier would have to say. This is a game I’ve played before. Name 3 things you’d bring to a cashier that would freak them out. I’ll bring a bottle of the strongest sleep medicine, a pregnancy test, and a coat hanger. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/29 "2011-02-01T20:53:08Z")
I worked in a grocery store for a bit (Weis Markets). It sucked. It wasn’t the worst job in the world, but it was far from the best. A lot of customers would treat you poorly while they waited in line. You don’t get a lot of respect at a place like that. That said, what the cashier did was out of line. I’ve had similar experiences, one being at a Total Beverage where a cashier would spend 5 minutes peering over your license in order to make sure you were the requisite age. He’d hold it up to the light, give it a few flicks, and just spend an inordinate amount of time looking it over. It drove me nuts. I stopped going through his line. My guess is that cashiers are, for the most part, going to be a thing of the past - what with the advent of ‘self checkout’. So soon you will not have to worry about comments. At the Giant I currently go to, I haven’t had a cashier ring me up in over a year. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/30 "2011-02-01T20:59:09Z")
> [@kasuo](#): > > This is a game I’ve played before. Name 3 things you’d bring to a cashier that would freak them out. I’ll bring a bottle of the strongest sleep medicine, a pregnancy test, and a coat hanger. Dozen bottles of liquor and a package of diapers. Ask the cashier to take off the diapers as you don’t have enough money. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/31 "2011-02-01T21:01:08Z")
While the dissing on low-wage jobs from the OP was uncalled for, I could flamethrow cashiers that 1. comment on what I buy 2. simply start a conversation with the customer. 3. even worse, customers that start a conversation with the cashier For fuck sake, I come to the supermaket to buy things and get out. I dont have to lose some of my life minutes to wait till you actually do your job of putting my goods on that little infrared sensor thing. If you want a job where you sit all day and make small conversation for a living, try working for a sex phone line. Until then, shut the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/32 "2011-02-01T21:04:46Z")
I once had a cashier at JCPenney tell me that she’d recently had an abortion. Do I win? ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/33 "2011-02-01T21:09:48Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I had the customer behind me once give me the strangest stare when I was buying condoms and pancake mix. For some reason, this bothers me. _Of course_ people will have weird combinations of things at a grocery store. It’s a store that sells a lot of different things, and sometimes you run out of two unrelated things at the same time. It shouldn’t be a surprise when this happens. Or maybe I missed the memo which says that if you happen to run out of pancake mix and condoms at the same time, you have to make two separate trips. > [@Merneith](#): > > Tonic water cures cramps? The woman had malaria cramps, you see. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/34 "2011-02-01T21:12:32Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I once had a cashier at JCPenney tell me that she’d recently had an abortion. Do I win? Yes. I don’t even need to confer with my fellow judges. ---
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/35 "2011-02-01T21:17:23Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > “Hey, Ralph! How much is a copy of _Orgasm_?” Dammit, that’s what I was thinking of. When I was a cashier, I retold a joke by cartoonist Sidney Harris: A car mechanic is talking to a customer, and the mechanic says, “Actually, I started out in quantum mechanics, but somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn.” The customer didn’t get it, and was in fact, insulted. (ETA: my customer in the store was insulted, not necessarily the customer in the cartoon. Just thought I’d clarify that.) I didn’t last long at that job. More to the OP: I too don’t need any chit-chat, or comments about my purchases. Just ring me up, and let me get the hell out of there. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/36 "2011-02-01T21:17:46Z")
I usually find cashiers at supermarkets to be quite helpful. They’ll often give my daughter a row of stickers or share a suggestion about a product I did not know was on sale. The ones at Trader Joe’s are particularly nice. I find many are quite honest in their feelings about various products. One of them told me a certain item sucked and he wouldn’t buy it. I should have listened to him as it did indeed suck. The cashier in the OP unfortunately sounds like an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/37 "2011-02-01T21:18:03Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I once had a cashier at JCPenney tell me that she’d recently had an abortion. Do I win? Was she explaining the dripping? ---
**Author:** ![3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/47e85d/32.png) [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3_20_59_or_bust)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/38 "2011-02-01T21:19:54Z")
I’m going to half-heartedly endorse this pitting…and add, please don’t comment on the books I’m checking out from the library. Yes, I know it’s the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Yes, I know they don’t have a lot of clothes on. Yes, I am lonely. Kill me now, please. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/39 "2011-02-01T21:22:57Z")
> [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](#): > > I’m going to half-heartedly endorse this pitting…and add, please don’t comment on the books I’m checking out from the library. > > Yes, I know it’s the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. > > Yes, I know they don’t have a lot of clothes on. > > Yes, I am lonely. > > Kill me now, please. Thank og my library has self-checkout. Not that I check out things with mostly-naked women, but still. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/40 "2011-02-01T21:24:29Z")
> [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](#): > > I’m going to half-heartedly endorse this pitting…and add, please don’t comment on the books I’m checking out from the library. > > Yes, I know it’s the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. > > Yes, I know they don’t have a lot of clothes on. > > Yes, I am lonely. > > Kill me now, please. Well, I guess you _could_ call, “Please don’t return it with the pages stuck together,” a comment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801.md?page=3)