# Just check my groceries, please. Without the fucking commentary. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801 "2011-02-01T18:23:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/101 "2011-02-02T17:34:28Z")
I can get WHY people don’t necessarily wannt to talk, that’s fine, not everyone is a chatter. What I don’t understand is the anger and disgust some people seem to feel when another person dares engage them when they are in fact have an interaction of some kind. Of course certain topics are not appropriate, but it certianly doesn’t mean all conversation is verboten. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/102 "2011-02-02T17:53:30Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > You presumably have customers then. Would you find it rude for them to fail to acknowledge your existence? You’re just doing your job, after all. If i could do my job and collect my fee while the customer ignored me, it would be a plus. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/103 "2011-02-02T17:59:54Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > It’s about acknowledging their basic existence. If you don’t understand this, then you have a social dysfunction and should probably get some kind of therapy. > > ETA you might also have Asperger’s. Meh. I prefer to choose who I interact with. And I’m perfectly happy. Therapy for what? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/104 "2011-02-02T18:00:07Z")
Okey dokey, you don’t like people. Stay in. You can get almost everything without leaving the house these days. But if you choose to leave the house, you’re expected to adhere to certain social expectations. You can choose not to adhere to them, but then you’re being a douchebag. And you can choose to be a douchebag, but own it, don’t act like other people are unreasonable for expecting you to be polite. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/105 "2011-02-02T18:45:10Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Really? You literally tell cashiers to “fuck off” when they try to talk to you? That is socially normal behavior in your opinion? No, it isn’t. But if someone else violates social norms I reserve the right to respond in kind. If a cashier engaged in normal chit chat, I would be nice and courteous, even if I wasn’t a fan. If they started acted rudely and asking inappropriate questions, I might tell them to fuck off. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Presidente](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@El\_Presidente](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Presidente)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/106 "2011-02-02T18:49:57Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > What, no [pimp slap](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=13388030&postcount=58)? > > Pussy. > [@Rumor\_Watkins](#): > > nice. Absolutely brilliant. 5 star wit. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/107 "2011-02-02T18:53:07Z")
Eh, my wit is three stars at most. Never underestimate the value of a witless foil. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/108 "2011-02-02T19:07:46Z")
Come on guys, people here seem to be assuming there is a simple dichotomy here: Either no talking ever or barrage of rude comments from the cashier. Can we just agree that the OP’s cashier was being rude and overly familiar? FWIW: I disagree that leaving in your earbuds is inherently rude. I usually leave at least one earbud in when checking out, otherwise they tend to tangle in my pocket. I do always smile and acknowledge the cashier and the bagger and answer all their questions promptly. ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/109 "2011-02-02T19:16:54Z")
> [@Little\_Bird](#): > > FWIW: I disagree that leaving in your earbuds is inherently rude. I usually leave at least one earbud in when checking out, otherwise they tend to tangle in my pocket. I do always smile and acknowledge the cashier and the bagger and answer all their questions promptly. sure, but one is way different than both. if I was listening to something and then i approach someone and have some degree of interaction with them, I’ll take one out and make it clear that i’m paying attention to them instead of my mp3 player. yes, I’ll agree that taking both out and stowing them for a 30-second interaction is unnecessary. leaving both in is unquestionably in fuck you land. and no one is really defending the clerk. they’re defending the clerk when the douchebag OP writes: > [@](#): > > As a lowly grocery store clerk, you are a low level, brainless monkey whose job is to stare at my selections, run them over the scanner, and bag them. The only three things I want to hear from your fucking pie hole are: in other words, it’s clear why the OP is self employed - he or she has absolutely no social tact. seeing this person in public would probably give aspies a chuckle and relief that they weren’t the most socially inept people around. ---
**Author:** ![Rumor\_Watkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/110 "2011-02-02T19:22:54Z")
> [@Rumor\_Watkins](#): > > in other words, it’s clear why the OP is self employed ugh. never mind on this part. i conflated the OP with the person who started the whole earbud thing. so reeee. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/111 "2011-02-02T19:45:05Z")
> [@El\_Presidente](#): > > J > “AH-HA, GONNA DO A LOT OF DRINKING IN THIS BAD WEATHER, AREN’T WE??? HAHAHAA!!!” At worst, this woman is just clueless. Honestly, I wouldn’t even had noticed the statement and said something to the effect of, “oh, _hell_ yeah. Gotta stock up on the essentials, ya know. ;)” But, yes, in the final analysis, she should not have commented on your purchase. She should have kept the small talk to just the weather in general, or something. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/112 "2011-02-02T20:48:44Z")
> [@El\_Presidente](#): > > Just got back from the local supermarket to pick up some groceries. Among the items I purchased was some club soda and Tom Collins mix. To be fair, you deserve every bit of harassment for buying Tom Collins mix in the first place! Why, when Tom Collinses are so easy to make from scratch and so much better than the mix ones. (true for most common mixed drinks, BTW) Just get a few lemons and some sugar- 3/4 oz lemon juice (about 1 small lemon) to 1 oz sugar (2 TB more or less) combined with 2 oz gin, shake (or stir if that’s what you can do) and top off with ice and soda water to fill your glass. Usually the only commentary that I get that even perplexes me is when I’m buying something, the cashier sees it, and then tries to make conversation by asking if I’ve had some lesser version of the same thing and recommending it. Example: I’m buying a bottle of Chianti Classico from Tuscany. The cashier might comment about the high price, and then tell me how much they like Beringer White Zinfandel, and have I tried it? I’m usually not irritated, but I usually feel a little awkward, and usually forces an a-hole / not a-hole choice to be made. Part of me wants to make it a teachable moment of some kind, but that would be patronizing, and part of me wants to just stare, which would be rude, so the part of me that says “Yeah, I have had that. I prefer drier wines, but I have a lot of friends who like it a lot.” wins out in the end. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/113 "2011-02-02T20:59:28Z")
> [@bump](#): > > To be fair, you deserve every bit of harassment for buying Tom Collins mix in the first place! Why, when Tom Collinses are so easy to make from scratch and so much better than the mix ones. (true for most common mixed drinks, BTW) > > Just get a few lemons and some sugar- _Ho ho ho hold up_ there, MacGyver! Lemons? Like, off a _tree_? The kind you have to _squeeze_? Who has time for this Rube Goldberg shit? ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/114 "2011-02-02T21:12:50Z")
I don’t mind chatting with cashiers — I talk to everybody — but I’m continually amazed by their cluelessness of grocery products. Tofu? Avacados? Plain yogurt? Are these exotic items purchased only by certain middle-aged women in glasses? How many times have I been asked “Are them good?” “Whatcha makin’ with _those_?” “Are y’all having a party?” Yes, avacados are good! Make guacamole! Tofu can be used in smoothies! Or pudding! Or stir-fry! Or dip! No — we eat these foods on a regular basis. No party! I eat plain yogurt instead of sour cream! It’s not like I’m the cutting edge of eating or anything — good lord kids, join the 21st century. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/115 "2011-02-02T21:41:10Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Self employed, so I can’t answer. Also, I do the self checkout, but just don’t understand the need to interact with someone doing their job. Oh well. They might have a question about one of your purchases, as in, “Sir, this isn’t ringing up, I’ll have to get a price check”. Or if something is ringing up wrong, and you’ve got your headphones on, well, then how will you notice, or you give me the wrong amount, your card declines, etc. “Oh noes, I have to interact with the public!” ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/116 "2011-02-02T22:37:43Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > “Oh noes, I have to interact with the public!” It’s really tough to tell sometimes whether your sense of irony is expertly honed or non-existent. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/117 "2011-02-02T22:44:05Z")
Jeeze, I guess I’m in the minority here, but I’ve had cashiers make comments to me like that in the past, and it hasn’t bothered me in the least. I figure it’s their unsuccessful attempt at humor. I’d say something back like, “Absolutely” and have a little chuckle. I don’t care what the people ahead or in back of me in line think. But I’m one of those people who routinely engage in small talk to people in the service industry. Waitstaff, the guy at the gas station, grocery clerks, etc. I figure I’ll treat them decently, and maybe it’ll make their day go a bit easier. Maybe what you perceive as someone’s smart-assery is just a socially awkward person’s attempt to make you smile. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/118 "2011-02-02T23:31:28Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > No doubt your establishment was one of those horror-houses of passive aggression, cheerless indifference, and negative morale that’s nearly as much fun to patronize as to work in---- but still, it didn’t occur to you to demand a suitable answer to the question you knew would be asked repeatedly throughout the day? Is. I’m still there. Pity me. I did ask about the buttons the first time it happened, and the cashier manager (talking to the store manager is somewhat akin to approaching Emperor Palpatine and telling him his brand-new Death Star got blowed up) gave me some vague answer about telling the customer how great the product was without giving me any specifics about the product itself. In stores like that, getting any sort of straight answer about a policy or rule is damn near impossible. I suppose I tell them that the product is great without actually having tried the product, but I’m not going to do the store’s lying for them. Besides, if the customer is genuinely asking for information, that’s perfectly reasonable. What pisses me off (and this happens way more than people actually asking about the product) is when the customer asks me with a big, stupid grin like they know we hate shilling for whatever product we’re pushing, but it amuses them to make us do it. Geez, that’s a long answer. Sorry about that. As to conversation, here’s how I approach it. If a customer wants to talk, I talk with them, trying my best to end the conversation gracefully when I’m finished with their order. If they don’t say anything, neither do I. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **DianaG** > I’m not a chit-chatter either, but the person standing in front of you is a person, and they deserve at least a greeting. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/119 "2011-02-03T01:25:01Z")
> [@Pixiesnix](#): > > I suppose I tell them that the product is great without actually having tried the product, but I’m not going to do the store’s lying for them. Besides, if the customer is genuinely asking for information, that’s perfectly reasonable. What pisses me off (and this happens way more than people actually asking about the product) is when the customer asks me with a big, stupid grin like they know we hate shilling for whatever product we’re pushing, but it amuses them to make us do it. A single day working in retail or waiting tables is an unforgettable lesson that a) almost everyone thinks they’re funny, and b) nearly all of them are wrong. Aside from the self-elected organ grinders giddy at a chance to yank the monkey’s chain (for whom, along with other excreta like the mothball-scented “hot enough for ya?” dotard and his protégé, the “if it won’t scan, I guess it must be FREE!” fucktard, death by flamethrower is far too generous), some of them are probably fishing for a handout. _Who knows_, they struggle to reason, _if I ask, maybe I’ll get a free sample of toenail fungicide or dietetic cream soda! Doesn’t hurt to ask.. well, doesn’t hurt ME anyway! Hurrrh hurrhh HURRRHHH!!!_ I’d be tempted to have fun with it, at least. Lean in and whisper “this is just between you and me, but if you squirt Eucerin up your ass with a lemon wedge, it is \*exactly \*like ecstasy… _shhhh_, manager’s coming, this conversation NEVER HAPPENED!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801/120 "2011-02-03T02:28:42Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Looks like it.Well, i don’t work as a cashier, and i’m also not really one for small talk at the cash register. I also sometimes have my MP3 player with me when i’m in the supermarket. > > But… > > Anyone who insists on keeping their headphones in while interacting with someone like a cashier is an even bigger antisocial asshole than a cashier who comments on your purchases. I’ve seen dozens of these jackasses, and they invariably hold up the line because they’re in their own little world, expecting everything to move along without any input from them. They don’t hear it when the cashier asks them a question like “Paper or plastic,” or asks them to swipe their card again because it didn’t register, or asks them if they have their Vons card with them. > > If your music is so important to you that you can’t turn it off and take out the earbuds for 30 seconds in order to facilitate a purchase that is for your own benefit, you’re another person who should probably shop online. They’re just one step up from the assholes who make the cashier wait while they finish their cellphone conversation. For the record, I pop out an earbud while I’m interacting with the cashier - I’m not a _barbarian_, you know. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-check-my-groceries-please-without-the-fucking-commentary/569801.md?page=7)