# Just drink the fucking ketchup **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2014, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849 "2014-04-11T04:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/241 "2014-04-19T00:10:27Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > I gotta side with the kid on this.\ > [@SmellMyWort](#): > > Apparently this kid \ > [@Rex\_Goliath](#): > > By all means, fuck that kid. \ > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > \ > But there is literally no way to force this kid \ 23 years old. Not a kid. > [@Cheesesteak](#): > > I think the point is that ketchup is not viewed as a brooch, but a vinyl poncho. > > At some point, after you hand embroidered a beautiful detail on yet another dress, you’re really going to get sick of that fucking everpresent poncho. That’s it exactly - the stepson isn’t garnishing all the food with ketchup, he’s drowning it because he doesn’t like the taste of what’s been cooked for him. > [@jsgoddess](#): > > \ > There’s no reason the OP needs to or should stop cooking. But he should stop casting his pearls before swine if it hurts his feelings that they are swine who will do what swine do. Yup. Maybe he can use the poncho analogy with his wife to try to get her to understand why his stepson drenching everything he cooks with ketchup isn’t just a matter of taste - “I’m not embroidering any more dresses for him, because he just throws a poncho on over them anyway. He’ll get a plain coverall from me or he can make his own clothes.” ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/242 "2014-04-19T00:11:19Z")
Yeah, he doesn’t have to abandon his hobby. He can continue to cook for himself and his wife. And I never suggested breaking up his family. Sheesh. Edit: Anyone \>15 years younger than me is a kid. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/243 "2014-04-19T12:33:04Z")
Lot’s of people suggested it: > [@Pedro](#): > > Weird. Shouldn’t you be pitting your wife? Sounds like a great catch. > [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > Luckily, he’s over 18, so once you divorce the bitch, you can legally throw him out too. > [@LouisB](#): > > Instead of catering to the brat and his mom, just move the hell out and leave no forwarding address. _[and snips from other posts]_ > [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > …kick his ass out. > [@SmellMyWort](#): > > Why haven’t you removed yourself from these people, yet? > [@flatlined](#): > > The only ones who ended up happy were the ones who just said fuck all this shit and gave up and left. > [@RTFirefly](#): > > If it’s just a middlin’ nice relationship, but who knows if it’ll be permanent, then this might be the shoal on which you should let it founder. > [@shiftless](#): > > If she always sides with the stepson, you need to get out. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/244 "2014-04-19T16:19:51Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > My stepson is really starting to piss me off. He bitches and moan to his mom who then bitches and moans to me about my cooking. OK, so you get the whole picture, the wife doesn’t cook and has no interest in cooking and she says “Everyone has their own tastes.” What’s the problem? No matter how much effort I make to use herbs and spices to flavor dinner, he puts a ton - and I do mean a ton - of fucking ketchup all over it. She doesn’t get how insulting that is to the cook. Pork chops roasted with sage and rosemary? Drown it in ketchup. Green beans with garlic and gruyere? Pile on the ketchup. Steak done simply with salt, pepper and butter? Better believe there’s ketchup all over that bitch. You see, ketchup covers up the flavor of the food to make it all taste like - well ketchup. So why should I bother seasoning his food? So when I make something for him that I’m not going to eat (Mrs Cad and I are dieting) I just throw whatever I’m cooking on the stove and then he bitches that I don’t season it. Bear in mind this 23 year old can’t taste the seasoning under all that ketchup - he just knows that I season my food and not his and he has to bitch to his mom about how unfair it is. And when I say why should I bother, then the “Everyone has there own tastes.” come in. Never any thought of why I should make an effort if no one cares what my food tastes like. > > Why not have him cook his own food? The little 23 year-old bitch complained to his mom that I didn’t cook for him and his mom got on my shit about it. Ketchup is good on hamburgers. Not a lot, mind you, but a little bit. There should certainly be more mustard than ketchup, but a little is pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/245 "2014-04-20T01:13:25Z")
What I’m seeing is a case of where you have to pick and choose your battles. What’s most important here. I’d concentrate on getting stepson to clean up after himself and help out around the house, cook his own dinner, or, if he wants to eat with the family, be reliable and show up. The ketchup really isn’t that important and it’s useless thing to bitch about. What’s the biggest problem in the long run. Other than offending your sensibilities as a chef, condiments aren’t going to have that big of an effect on your life, and it’s a petty thing to fight about. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/246 "2014-04-20T03:22:19Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Just out of morbid curiosity, Saint Cad, but have you bothered to read even one single post that has been made in this thread? You’ve had a whole pile of people offering advice and analysis, and all you can bother to post is more detail about your original complaint, which all of nobody was begging for. Are you going to listen to anyone, or did you just come here to whine and have a pity party? Maybe he did. I think that’s allowed. This could be called the Bitch and Moan Forum. > [@jsgoddess](#): > > It could be an attempt to make someone seem like a bad guy or to shift the blame. That’s a pretty common motive. > > I know that I’ve had relationships where I am constantly seeing myself as the victim of someone else’s behavior. It’s a terrible sign for the health of the relationship. Hmm, that’s familiar to me too. I’ve seen myself playing the victim and it’s not a pretty sight. Oh, they were doing bad things, on a minor scale (dum-dum-dum!) but I was making it far worse. It’s not unfixable, though. Recognising that it’s happening is one of the ways to start fixing it. Many (like 12) years ago I started a thread elsewhere asking for advice about something or other my then-GF had done wrong when it came to me and my daughter. In retrospect, that GF was absolutely terrible as a potential step-parent and some of the things she did were fucking awful even with the perspective of twelve years. But I also did some petty passive-aggressive stuff, and that helped me focus on those problems (that I can’t even remember now) rather than the really big things, and made everything worse for us all. And some people on that thread did say “break up now.” They were right. If you’re at the point where you’re ranting about ketchup, and not in a humourous way, your relationship is dying. And the relationship was killed by both of us, not just my evil ex. > [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Mrs Cad and I are on a strict no carb diet. > Stepson hates seafood. And I respect that and don’t cook fish or shrimp for him no problem. > Mrs Cad doesn’t eat pork or beef for ethical reasons. > So I make fish for us and spaghetti for him and he doesn’t eat it, neither Mrs. Cad nor I can eat it the next night. Now if I cook a pork roast and a chicken breast for Mrs. Cad then I will take the leftovers for lunch but I would say that level of dinner sychronicity in this house occurs maybe 50% of the time. Well, you could include more other proteins in your repertoire, maybe, like beans or… I’ll stop there because surely you know this? You could cook meals that would suit you all most days. You are choosing not to. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/247 "2014-04-20T04:40:51Z")
Thing is though, the SDMB isn’t a blog. Even if you’re just venting, you have to accept that you’re going to get criticism. I think we’ve all experienced that at one time or another. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/248 "2014-04-20T04:51:34Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Thing is though, the SDMB isn’t a blog. Even if you’re just venting, you have to accept that you’re going to get criticism. I think we’ve all experienced that at one time or another. Agreed. I think sometimes people treat it as one, though, and if it’s not something they do regularly (the OP is not a multiple violator), then it’s excusable. ---
**Author:** ![blindboyard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindboyard/32/2833_2.png) [@blindboyard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blindboyard)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/249 "2014-04-20T09:29:00Z")
You ought to use [brown](http://youtu.be/axDtj2bSduM). ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/250 "2014-04-20T14:38:29Z")
I’m getting the sense that Mrs. Cad, whatever her other virtues may be, raised a whiny, self-centered brat, knows that, and now expects Saint Cad to deal with her handiwork. And Saint Cad is taking it on the chin to keep the peace in the family. Where I live, that’s not keeping the peace, that’s being a doormat. These words of wisdom may help. > [@](#): > > If I don’t want to be a doormat, I have to get up off the floor. In other words, although I can’t control what other people say, do, or think, I am responsible for my choices. > > Looking back, I can accept that plenty of unacceptable behavior was directed at me, but _I_ was the one who sat and took it and often came back for more… I felt like a victim, but in many ways, I was a volunteer. (From Al-Anon Family Group’s _Courage to Change_, page 361.) The sprog used to do this to me all the time. I’d make dinner, he’d piss and whine about it, and I’d wind up making something different for him. He had me wrapped around his finger and knew it, and I took it over and over because I wanted to keep the peace. Once I stopped being a doormat, food (and a lot of other things) came in two flavors: Take or or leave it, but if you leave it, you make something for yourself or go hungry. I don’t go out of my way to make food I know he doesn’t like, but I stopped planning meals that revolve around him. One nice side effect of growing a backbone is that he now respects me and we have a much better relationship. I get it. You’re not pissed about the ketchup or even about cooking meals for a whiny, ungrateful bitch. You’re pissed about the whole situation, but until you change, nothing else will. That’s the bottom line. ---
**Author:** ![Asympotically\_fat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e47c2d/32.png) [@Asympotically\_fat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asympotically_fat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/251 "2014-04-20T14:59:51Z")
Give the kid a break, he just likes ketchup. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/252 "2014-04-23T15:51:17Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > 23 years old. Not a kid. 23 years old. Still a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/253 "2014-04-23T16:17:58Z")
23 years old. Not even close to being a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/254 "2014-04-23T16:42:26Z")
As a former 23 year old and a friend of many current and former 23 year olds I can testify that many 23 year olds are, in fact, still kids. [johnnytheshoeshineboy] Of course that doesn’t excuse what he’s doing, it just helps us understand him a little better. [/johnnytheshoeshineboy] ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/255 "2014-04-25T08:17:57Z")
Just thought I’d add… When I was young, I didn’t really appreciate my mom’s cooking (even though I realize now that she’s a really good cook). She’s getting up in years, and whenever I go home, she teaches me one of the traditional family recipes. It’s been kind of fun, and good bonding time. We’ve never really gotten along, but who knows how long we have left, and so at least we have some pleasant memories. Of course, after we’re done, she starts nagging me about the fact that she doesn’t have grandchildren. Or my haircut. Or something else. But, hey, we get a few hours of peaceful and fun interaction. So, who knows? Maybe one day the OP’s step-kid will come back and ask him to teach him his recipes. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/256 "2014-04-25T13:15:25Z")
> [@j666](#): > > Lot’s of people suggested it: Yep. And I stand by it. Like I said earlier, we’ve got way deeper issues than ketchup here. We’ve got Mrs. Cad taking the side of her 23 year old kid\* in a game of jerk-stepdad-around. Either Saint and Mrs. Cad come to a meeting of the minds about getting Young Jackass to (a) take care of his own damn self, and (b) show proper respect to his stepdad, or they don’t really have a marriage. Because you don’t really have a marriage if you don’t see eye to eye about something this fundamental. \*Young Jackass is an adult under the law, and should be one in fact, but has apparently been granted permission by Saint and Mrs. Cad to keep acting like a kid indefinitely. Since YJ is apparently taking full advantage of that permission, I call him a kid. When I’m not calling him Young Jackass, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/257 "2014-04-25T13:57:54Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > 23 years old. Still a kid. How is a 23 year old a kid!??! ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/258 "2014-04-25T14:03:59Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > How is a 23 year old a kid!??! Not a child. A kid. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/259 "2014-04-25T14:41:49Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > How is a 23 year old a kid!??! It all depends on one’s perspective. The older one gets, the older one considers people to still be ‘kids’. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/260 "2014-04-25T15:59:32Z")
Just because an adult acts like an immature douchebag doesn’t make him a kid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849.md?page=14)