# Just drink the fucking ketchup **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2014, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849 "2014-04-11T04:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/41 "2014-04-11T14:54:14Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > 😕 > > Why would you cook again for him? The standard in my family (and pretty much every family I know) is if you’re late for dinner/can’t make dinner you can have reheated leftovers. Just cook everything at once, save a plate for him for dinner, problem solved. It wouldn’t even occur to me to cook a separate meal for someone after the main dinner has been cooked. Hell, sometimes the main meal is just reheated leftovers from the last few days. Standard in my family when I was a teen–and even when I’m visiting my parents now that I’m an adult–is almost the same as that. There’s one mighty big exception: to get that treatment, one has to call home and inform the parent one will be late. Call home, arrive late, get reheated food. Don’t call and when you get home, no meal. And Heaven help you if you’re caught sneaking a snack before breakfast. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/42 "2014-04-11T15:21:59Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > If he’s paying board where food/cooking is included, then simply cook his food at the same time you make your own and he can reheat it in the microwave. > > If cooked meals isn’t included in his board, then he can make his own damned dinner. And if food isn’t included then he can make it using his own damned ingredients! > > He is paying board, right? I agree with all of this. 23 years old, getting home from work - time for Sonny Boy to act like an adult, and that includes cooking for himself and (probably) paying rent - that might depend on the situation, as in, if he’s finishing up a degree, maybe no rent until he’s finished school. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > If the OP wants meaningful advice, he’s going to have to tell us what the real problems are. It’s obvious this isn’t really about ketchup. Have to agree with this, too - there are some unhealthy dynamics at play here. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/43 "2014-04-11T15:24:25Z")
There are big problems in this household. Ketchup is not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/44 "2014-04-11T15:28:07Z")
Is he at least buying his own damned ketchup? ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/45 "2014-04-11T15:46:29Z")
When I first read your rant I thought “why not just let the poor kid enjoy his meal the way he likes it? After all, he’s just a kid. What do you expect from a . . . 23-year-old!!??” Ah . . . Yeah. Whaddafugizupwiddat!? Now you have my complete sympathy and bewilderment. As others have said, what is this self-entitled man-child doing whinging to his mummy about your cooking? That’s several shades of messed up right there! Clearly the two . . . no, the three of you have issues beyond Tiny Yolkem drowning his food in ketchup, and I think I remember you ranting about some of those in other threads. A big part of the problem seems to be simply that your adult stepson is behaving like a child, and being treated as such, by his mother at least. You shouldn’t have to put up with that bullshit. Show him how adults behave. Don’t go through mum. Tell him directly that you don’t mind cooking for him so long as your effort is appreciated and not wasted. Suggest he could also learn to cook for himself. And maybe suggest that if he’s not happy with something you’re doing, then he should speak to you about it, because “Maaaaaaahm!” is not the call of an adult. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/46 "2014-04-11T16:04:33Z")
Weird strange pit. I place the anus squarely on the OP. Regardless, add me to the list of folks who wonder why you don’t cook enough the first go around the let him heat it up. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/47 "2014-04-11T16:06:20Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > I place the anus squarely on the OP. Onus? Or do you really mean anus?😛 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/48 "2014-04-11T16:11:43Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Just so everyone knows, the “cooking food differently” comes form when he works late and wants dinner after I’ve cooked for everyone else. at 9:00pm my thought is why should I go to all of the effort to properly season and sear and basically work at his dinner if it’s just going to end up as 10% food / 90% ketchup. So you are on the couch watching tv half-asleep thinking about heading to bed soon and your stepson gets home from work and walks in and says, “Butler prepare my evening meal.” and you jump up from the couch, snap to and salute him and say, “Yes Sir.” and then go into the kitchen and make him a five star meal all the while muttering under your breath about him being a little bitch and bring him his meal while he is waiting at the table. It sounds to me like you’re the bitch in this household. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/49 "2014-04-11T16:17:11Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Onus? Or do you really mean anus?😛 My cat places her anus on everything around this house. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/50 "2014-04-11T16:19:58Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > How can a grown ass man honestly stamp his foot and insist the chef gets to say how everyone seasons their own meals? In what world? [This one.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MixYRIUzVXs) ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/51 "2014-04-11T16:37:57Z")
Don’t season the food, season the ketchup. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/52 "2014-04-11T16:43:27Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Why not make enough for everyone the first time around and stick the extra in the refrigerator for him to pull out when he’s home? > > Does he inform you in advance when he’s going to be eating elsewhere? Good question. When I do make dinner for him ahead of time, half the time he decides later on to eat elsewhere. Yes even after he swears up and down that he will eat dinner at home so his dinner goes into the refrigerator never to be seen again because heaven forbid he eat leftovers I made for him. Of course no support from Mrs Cad on that either but I’m willing to give her a little bit of a pass because she thinks that I take ingredients out and magically 45 minutes later they are a meal. Yeah she’s that clueless about cooking because for her - Kraft Mac & Cheese with twice the butter, half the milk and some pre-grated cheddar cheese is gourmet-level of chefing. The conclusion I came to last night was that when he gets home late, he needs to prep his own food. If he wants me to cook when I cook everyone else’s then he cannot eat out which wastes food. I don’t think that B is an option for him which leaves A. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/53 "2014-04-11T16:50:57Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Any particular reason the kid’s putting ketchup on [hookers](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chippies)? The acidic tomato paste acts as an antiseptic? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/54 "2014-04-11T16:59:57Z")
Wow - the lack of appreciation for what kind of effort it takes to cook a meal for multiple people in your house night after night is astonishing. I dunno - maybe you need to go on strike for a couple of weeks until it sinks in that they need to appreciate what you do or do it their own damned selves. ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/55 "2014-04-11T17:04:27Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Really? > > So, if I came to dinner would you get all butthurt if I added ketchup? I highly doubt it. > > If you’re expecting praise or gratitude for cooking for a 23 yr old you’re destined to be disappointed. Try and get your expectations aligned back to reality. > > What do you care what he puts on his freaking food? You’re not eating it! And as long as he eats it you have no complaint, to my mind. > > And you take offence and then stop seasoning his food altogether? That’s incredibly immature, just what exactly are you trying to teach the boy? How to be a wanker? > > And, ‘it’s an insult to the chef!’, what are you? The iron chef? Are you prepared to let him determine what your food gets seasoned with? I thought not! > > Since you clearly don’t have the power to make him cook for himself, it appears to me, you are just trying to exert control in a very thinly veiled and somewhat childish fashion. > > How can a grown ass man honestly stamp his foot and insist the chef gets to say how everyone seasons their own meals? In what world? NO SOUP FOR YOU! - the Soup Nazi (Larry Thomas) from the Seinfeld show. The “boy” already appears to be a wanker. No further teaching is required. (As an aside, would you mind defining what you mean by the term, _butthurt_? There seems to be some forum and general confusion about what that term means.) ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/56 "2014-04-11T17:18:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Onus? Or do you really mean anus?😛 The OP is possibly a little retentive, but the stepson sounds positively expletive. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My cat places her anus on everything around this house. Which end do you whisper to? And which end whispers back? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/57 "2014-04-11T17:37:48Z")
Poison the ketchup, frame the wife for the crime, sell the house, move into a penthouse apartment and buy a bright red Corvette, and then cook what you please exclusively for yourself and the twenty-something girlfriend you met on a cruise, and if she complains boot her off the balcony. Do I have to think of everything? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/58 "2014-04-11T17:41:39Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Your problem is much deeper than a 23 year old man acting like a spoiled child, but I think you know that. Having said this this problem is 100% entirely your fault, you own it completely. It’s not the man-child whiners fault or your supine wife’s fault. It is entirely your decision to cook and whom to cook for in a house of adults, but you are pretending it’s not so you can be insulted and oppressed by his horrible whining. > > You need to tell your wife and the man-child that your cooking is going to be more limited in the future and that he needs to fend for himself cooking-wise. There will be food for him to make his own meals if he chooses but the Saint Cad kitchen open to all is closed. Yes, this will cause issues until he manages to find away to fend for himself but the combo of somewhat controlling and sensitive cook (you) and a demanding man child who disrespects fine dining (him) is not sustainable. > > You need to lay it out dispassionately and matter of factly. If you start a “you disrespect my cooking” rant as part of this disengagement you will look like an overly emotional fool. I’ve got to side with _Astro_ on this. You own it. Either fix it or deal with it. Don’t get me wrong… I also agree that your step-son is a whiner, from what you’ve described. But this is, indeed, your problem to work out. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/59 "2014-04-11T17:43:47Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Just so everyone knows, the “cooking food differently” comes form when he works late and wants dinner after I’ve cooked for everyone else. at 9:00pm my thought is why should I go to all of the effort to properly season and sear and basically work at his dinner if it’s just going to end up as 10% food / 90% ketchup. Easier just to throw a couple of whatevers in a baking dish, throw it in an oven and tell him to take it out in 30 minutes. If I do that, then he bitches that I don’t cook his food like when we all eat together. When we all do, everyone eats the same stuff. He has a job? Why the heck is he still living at home? I would want to get the fuck out of there if it were me. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/60 "2014-04-11T18:01:55Z")
I stayed with my parents for about 3-4 months after I graduated from college and was saving up in order to get all the stuff needed for an apartment (furniture, TV, pots, pans, etc…) that I didn’t already have. I didn’t pay rent or anything- my folks were willing to help me out a little to get me set up on my own. At no point was I ungrateful to my family for cooking dinner though, even when it wasn’t things I’d like. I either sucked it up and ate it, cooked stuff I liked for everyone, or made my own food arrangements. And definitely at no time when I came in late did I expect anyone to cook for me or even have it ready; I wasn’t there at the designated meal time, so I was on my own. I think your stepson is being a dick- if he’s showing up at 9 pm after work, then his meals are his business and his problem. You’re not even really bound to make enough for him to have leftovers. If he’s there at the duly designated time, then he can eat what you cook or go get something else on his own. I’m kind of ambivalent on the ketchup thing- on one hand, I can see how if you spent a lot of effort on the meal that adding ketchup is kind of annoying, but by the same token, you’re not a professional chef, so it’s not like a professional insult if he puts ketchup on your nicely roasted t-bone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849.md?page=4)