# Just drink the fucking ketchup **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 11, 2014, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849 "2014-04-11T04:32:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/81 "2014-04-11T20:23:33Z")
Maybe, at least until he moves out, you can introduce the family to the wonders of a casserole or a slow-cooker meal. Sounds like your wife doesn’t mind what you feed her and the stepson only cares that he gets the same thing everyone else does, so if you insist on cooking, make it something easy that reheats well and you have no real personal investment in, and sometimes make a bit of fine cuisine for just yourself. After he leaves you can go back to cooking what you like to prepare and eat and that particular family drama is avoided. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/82 "2014-04-11T20:36:00Z")
> [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](#): > > I would just roll my eyes and not waste any fillet mignon, crab legs, or other expensive delicacies on him. If he wants to put ketchup on your inexpensive, yet delicious and subtly spiced garlic green beans with almond cream balsamic reduction and shitake compote or whatever the hell it is your making, why does it matter? Is making 3 helpings really that much harder than making 2? More or less. This is just food, not fine art. I understand the effort in making everything just right but, in the end, as long as your guests enjoy it–even if it means they slather it in ketchup–who cares? I cook as much for myself as for others. I don’t care what they do with their portion of the meal, as long as I get to enjoy mine how I like it (since I cooked it.) ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/83 "2014-04-11T21:33:46Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > While I do agree that he needs to get over it, I wouldn’t call a 23 year old man a “kid.” I mean “kid” in the context that it’s his wife’s child. I think at least part of the problem is that this isn’t the OPer’s child, or he might feel less resentful about his presence. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/84 "2014-04-11T21:35:37Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > No, it isn’t. In my experience, it is. Certainly in working class families. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/85 "2014-04-11T21:36:34Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > This is cooking for a family, man, not creating daily works of art. When I mow the lawn or take out the trash or do the laundry I don’t expect anyone to stand back and admire my work. I don’t throw a hissy fit when I see the exact same tee shirt in the laundry the next week with sweat stains. > > Just because you’re the only one who knows how to do it - or rather, knows how to do it to your liking - doesn’t mean you are some ACTUAL saint. You are just the person in the family who does the chore because you’re best equipped. Or because no one else gives a fuck. > > Yes your stepson is being a brat but, holy smokes, get over yourself! Cooking for a family is something that happens every day. If you’re expecting to be lauded for it every day then you are doing it wrong. I happen to disagree with you in some respects; daily chores can be Works of Art, and haven’t you ever stepped back and admired your lawn when you got it looking just right? Sushi chefs in Japan spend years learning to make rice properly (a really mundane job if you have ever done it) because that is the heart of sushi, not the fish. Chores are your opportunity to make good use of your time to make your house attractive, safe and healthy. You have to eat food everyday, so why not make it as appetizing to your palette, your eyes, and your soul as you possibly can. My friend makes the most incredible sandwiches for lunch because he knows that in the middle of a busy work day, it may be the only bright spot in it. I agree that his step son is being an ass wholeheartedly and expecting gratitude is plainly a waste of time. Don`t want to eat what I made? Make something yourself. Another tack may be to have #1 son make dinner once a week, which is something I did with my boys starting when they were about twelve, as well as their laundry. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/86 "2014-04-11T21:45:45Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I mean “kid” in the context that it’s his wife’s child. I think at least part of the problem is that this isn’t the OPer’s child, or he might feel less resentful about his presence. Ok, I agree with you. I just saw that some people weren’t aware that he was 23, so I didn’t know if you’d made the assumption that he was a small child, as well. Hell, the way the stepson acts, not knowing his age, I would’ve pegged him for 13 or younger. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/87 "2014-04-11T21:53:50Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > How would you feel? What would you do? I would feel like I needed to loosen up a little bit, and I would also feel like telling my stepson to stock up on Hungry Man frozen dinners for those late work nights from now on. I also don’t really understand how it’s this huge amount of extra effort to make him dinner in advance and put it in the fridge. Aren’t you making dinner for yourself and your wife already? Is it really that much harder to make food for 3 people instead of 2? And who cares if he goes out to eat instead? Yay, now you can have his saved dinner for your lunch tomorrow. Everybody wins. But that said, I seriously wouldn’t worry about his dinner at all. He’s a grown man. He can figure out how to feed himself. It is really, really not your problem. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/88 "2014-04-11T22:04:05Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I also don’t really understand how it’s this huge amount of extra effort to make him dinner in advance and put it in the fridge. Aren’t you making dinner for yourself and your wife already? Is it really that much harder to make food for 3 people instead of 2? And who cares if he goes out to eat instead? Yay, now you can have his saved dinner for your lunch tomorrow. Everybody wins. Especially since the OPer is such an extraordinary cook. Hell, they should be fighting over the leftovers. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/89 "2014-04-11T22:09:11Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Going back and re-reading the OP, I think the solution is kind of simple - just stop cooking for Sonny Boy. He can cook what he wants and drown it all in ketchup, or he can eat out - either way, you’ve removed yourself from the stress-inducing equation. Politely disagree. OP sez: > [@](#): > > Why not have him cook his own food? The little 23 year-old bitch complained to his mom that I didn’t cook for him and his mom got on my shit about it. Why is refusing to buy ketchup off the table? (_um, what?_) We don’t stock it at our house, where I do the cooking. Mostly this is because of the HFCS which contains ~5% more fructose than the corresponding percentage of monosaccharide fructose in sucrose. It just tastes weird to me, sorry. I have spent many years developing my cooking skills to the point where I can produce tasty, nourishing dishes with layers of flavorings that add to the richness and over-all quality of the dish. I would be a bit upset to be in the OP’s situation. As many others have said - the underlying issues seem to lie somewhere other than the cooking and the ketchup, however. ETA: Just remembered this is the Pit. Please strike the word “Politely” from my disagreeing. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2014, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/90 "2014-04-11T23:40:09Z")
The OP used the term _chef_. So, now I’m curious, is he actually a chef? If not, the pitting is even lamer than it seems at first blush. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/91 "2014-04-12T00:05:59Z")
Saint Cad, the son is really taking advantage of you by demanding meals at 9pm. If he goes crying to Mommy about the nice meals you leave in containers for him to microwave, stand up to her. This isn’t fair. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/92 "2014-04-12T00:35:30Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > Hear, hear! This notion that using normal condiments such as salt, pepper, catsup, etc. is an insult to the chef is one that seems to have crept in over the last 15-20 year. This attitude didn’t exist (or at least wasn’t prevalent) when I was growing up, and it frankly strikes me as a noobie chef notion that should have been slapped out of people their first semester of cooking school. There was a thread here once that complained about people eating all the foods on their plates separately - you know, eat all the carrots, then the broccoli, then the corn, etc. The “chef” posting that one was deeply offended that his or her guests weren’t sampling a little of everything together, as the “chef” had carefully selected the flavours to blend and compliment each other. This thread reminds me of that one because my reaction is the same to both: pretentious control freaks of the world, it’s actually none of your business if other people consume their food the “wrong way”, even if you cooked it. Get over yourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/93 "2014-04-12T00:48:53Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I mean “kid” in the context that it’s his wife’s child. I think at least part of the problem is that this isn’t the OPer’s child, or he might feel less resentful about his presence. Actually, it’s reversed. He moved in with us so “I’m not his dad.” unless he needs $20 or a ride to work. I think he’s under the assumption that if he gets to aggravated that he can tell his mom to boot me out and live the glorious life. I’ve made up my mind that I will help him by teaching him to cook basic food. Stove on medium for 5 minutes on both sides then in the 350 oven for 30 min. After that its up to him. If he asks about salt, pepper and seasonings, I’ll go to the refrigerator and pull out the ketchup for him. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/94 "2014-04-12T00:56:13Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > But that said, I seriously wouldn’t worry about his dinner at all. He’s a grown man. He can figure out how to feed himself. It is really, really not your problem. His wife made it his problem. That’s the thing about being in relationships with actual people-- you often have to stuff that you rather wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/95 "2014-04-12T00:59:03Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Are you kidding? That kid is living like a Boss! Yeah, where some dude is sleeping with his mom. Depending on when St Cad got married, it might not bother the kid in the abstract but its gotta be awkward to see three empty cans of whipped cream (low cal) in the trash on the morning. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/96 "2014-04-12T01:00:50Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > […] If he asks about salt, pepper and seasonings, I’ll go to the refrigerator and pull out the ketchup for him. Oh, please, please, _please_ do this. And then report to us. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/97 "2014-04-12T01:02:11Z")
> [@Doug\_K](#): > > Hear, hear! This notion that using normal condiments such as salt, pepper, catsup, etc. is an insult to the chef is one that seems to have crept in over the last 15-20 year. This attitude didn’t exist (or at least wasn’t prevalent) when I was growing up, and it frankly strikes me as a noobie chef notion that should have been slapped out of people their first semester of cooking school. I’m not so sure of your timeline. I remember first learning about it in my early teens, around 30 years ago. Just because it didn’t hit your radar until then didn’t mean it didn’t occur until then. > [@ZipperJJ](#): > > This is cooking for a family, man, not creating daily works of art. > [@Monty](#): > > The OP used the term chef. So, now I’m curious, is he actually a chef? If not, the pitting is even lamer than it seems at first blush. To some people, cooking is just something you have to do because you have to eat. To others, it is more important. It’s obviously important to **SaintCad**. It’s important to me, and that importance was instilled in me by my father. Putting good, fresh, multi-sensory appealing food on the table isn’t easy, and trying to do it in a way that you don’t end up in a rut (menu planning, food rotations, proper pairings, etc.) takes a lot of thought. You might not be a ‘chef’, but still be a damned good home cook putting high quality meals on the plate for your family. And being a human being, I’m sure a little appreciation would be nice. I’m lucky that my family, and my extended family when they visit, appreciate the time, thought, and effort that goes into feeding them. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/98 "2014-04-12T01:11:58Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > His wife made it his problem. That’s the thing about being in relationships with actual people-- you often have to stuff that you rather wouldn’t. You can tell the people who either live in [Pleasantville](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120789/) or aren’t in relationships. They say things like… > [@](#): > > Luckily, he’s over 18, so once you divorce the bitch, you can legally throw him out too. > [@](#): > > Instead of catering to the brat and his mom, just move the hell out and leave no forwarding address. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/99 "2014-04-12T01:15:40Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > He moved in with us so “I’m not his dad.” IMHO, the only appropriate response to that BS comment is, “Get out.” > [@](#): > > I think he’s under the assumption that if he gets to aggravated that he can tell his mom to boot me out and live the glorious life. Perhaps he’s getting strong indicators of that from, possibly, his mom. > [@](#): > > I’ve made up my mind that I will help him by teaching him to cook basic food. Stove on medium for 5 minutes on both sides then in the 350 oven for 30 min. After that its up to him. If he asks about salt, pepper and seasonings, I’ll go to the refrigerator and pull out the ketchup for him. How’s this for an idea? You: {Pointing to the kitchen} Food’s in there. SS: {Clueless look on his face} Really, where? I don’t see anything cooked and ready to eat like this is some 5-star restaurant. You: {Smug look on your face} No, kidding. You want to get fed, you’ll cook it yourself. And you will clean up after yourself. SS: {Whining} That’s so mean. You’re not my dad! You: Get out. Looks doable. Of course the alternative reaction from the stepson is that he realizes you’re not kidding and he actually learns to cook for himself. Maybe he’ll even learn to take turns cooking for the whole family. p.s. Ever heard of enabling behavior? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2014, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849/100 "2014-04-12T01:39:22Z")
In respect to cooking for him when he gets home, that has to stop for sure. Just always cook his portion when you’re cooking all the rest of it, and he can reheat it when he gets home. If he doesn’t like that, and if your wife doesn’t like that, you have got to put your foot down. When he doesn’t eat the portion that was left for him, personally, I would totally just have it for breakfast or lunch the next day. No waste. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-drink-the-fucking-ketchup/685849.md?page=6)