# Just for fun: Moms - did your SO get you a 'Push Present'? If so, what? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430 "2010-05-23T03:26:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/1 "2010-05-23T03:26:52Z")
Well - did you? And what do you think of them? FWIW, the Mr. has already picked up my Push Present but I don’t get it until Jr. actually arrives. What prompted this poll was this question to Ms. Manners: > [@](#): > > **Dear Miss Manners** , > We are expecting our first child, a boy, very soon. Is it expected of me as father to provide a gift for my wife? If so, what kind or type of gift is appropriate? > > **Gentle Reader** , > The greatest gift you can give your wife is to pitch in so that when the baby comes home, she can get some sleep. However, Miss Manners understands that a glamorous trinket does wonders for perking up a lady who may not have felt that she was looking too glamorous lately. I actually asked my husband if he had written it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/2 "2010-05-23T03:29:02Z")
Erm…nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/3 "2010-05-23T03:51:11Z")
My first reaction was " What is a push present ?" but I think I understand what you mean after reading your OP. My first husband did not buy me any presents when my children were born, no, but this was over 20 years ago. I’m thinking this is the kind of thing I wouldn’t presume to say whether people should do, or not do. I leave it up to the couple to do whatever works for their relationship. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/4 "2010-05-23T03:59:47Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > My first reaction was " What is a push present ?" but I think I understand what you mean after reading your OP. Yah - I had a heck of a time getting the poll feature to work and I think I lost some clarity in my OP. A ‘Push Present’ is as you describe - a gift the man gets for the woman as a ‘thank-you’ of sorts for giving birth. You know - pushing the baby out. I assume women getting a c-section get an even _BETTER_ present… ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/5 "2010-05-23T04:31:07Z")
I’ve heard of this, but only jokingly. My husband didn’t buy me anything for giving birth. He did turn down the offer of tea and cookies while I was in the OR with my second, so I give him credit for that. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/6 "2010-05-23T04:42:33Z")
I am torn between “baby is only present I need” and “what kind of new nonsense is this anyway?” Not that I am opposed to some kind of birth celebration. The main thing is, if I’d gotten a present just for delivery, I would have been much less likely to say things like, “Okay, I carried him for nine months. Your turn. Change that diaper,” and get results. My husband doesn’t get me mother’s day presents either; I’m not his mother. He has facilitated the purchase of some stuff though, and same for me for Father’s Day. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/7 "2010-05-23T04:46:02Z")
I’ve never even heard of this. I never did this for any our kids. Of course not. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/8 "2010-05-23T05:10:51Z")
Never heard of it; did not occur to me to want a present. It may be newer than my kids are? My youngest is 7. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/9 "2010-05-23T05:22:08Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > I am torn between “baby is only present I need” and “what kind of new nonsense is this anyway?” [This kind](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present). ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/10 "2010-05-23T05:45:22Z")
I was gift enough for my mother! \>:] ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/11 "2010-05-23T06:10:16Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > A ‘Push Present’ is as you describe - a gift the man gets for the woman as a ‘thank-you’ of sorts for giving birth. You know - pushing the baby out. I assume women getting a c-section get an even _BETTER_ present… Does the kid deserve a present, too? He’s the one being pushed. Of course, it probably doesn’t take much of a gift to make a big impression on a newborn. “Here you go, kid, have some air.” ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/12 "2010-05-23T06:14:18Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I was gift enough for my mother! \>:] If I didn’t know better I’d suspect you were one of my kids, you crazy chile. ---
**Author:** ![RhapsodyInBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RhapsodyInBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RhapsodyInBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/13 "2010-05-23T06:41:15Z")
I’ve never heard it called that, but I know several women who received some very impressive jewelry after giving birth. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/14 "2010-05-23T07:16:37Z")
This is the first I’ve heard of such a thing. A present for giving birth? Hmmph. You don’t see me getting awards for making a huge steamer in the toilet now, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/15 "2010-05-23T07:27:51Z")
You know, I think this is more common (if indeed it is common) in circles where the mother and father tend not to be married to each other, i.e., movie stars, gangsta rappers, welfare mothers. Or for rich people where the wife already doesn’t need to work. The kind of people (except for the welfare mothers) who get written up in US. Because otherwise it doesn’t make sense. An expensive present, coming out of the budget at this time? An expensive present that might make the difference between one of us quitting a job to stay home with the baby? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/16 "2010-05-23T12:12:43Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > An expensive present that might make the difference between one of us quitting a job to stay home with the baby? Errr…I’m not sure that’s _EXACTLY_ the idea. Hubby and I are hardly rich, but I’m still getting a present. Of course, it’s a $300 handbag, not $10,000 diamond earrings (or however much diamond earrings cost - I honestly have no idea as that’s not really my thing). Putting yourself in the poor house to buy a gift is dumb, regardless of the circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/17 "2010-05-23T13:30:41Z")
If the couple can afford it, I certainly don’t see the harm in it. The Mr. got me roses when I had PandaJr - that’s pretty much all we could afford. I particularly don’t have a problem with the idea of jewelry - especially if it’s something that has the baby’s birthstone in it. If Mom wants a gift and it’s reasonable - for 9 months of pregnancy and God knows how many hours of agonizing labor … why not? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/18 "2010-05-23T13:42:35Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > If the couple can afford it, I certainly don’t see the harm in it. The Mr. got me roses when I had PandaJr - that’s pretty much all we could afford. > > I particularly don’t have a problem with the idea of jewelry - especially if it’s something that has the baby’s birthstone in it. > > If Mom wants a gift and it’s reasonable - for 9 months of pregnancy and God knows how many hours of agonizing labor … why not? Pretty much. I didn’t get anything - but we aren’t big on gifts around here and my husband needs some help on these sorts of things. But if your husband is good at buying stuff, go for it. But sometimes you hear of women who go all “bridezilla” on their push present. And if you can afford it, great - but when women demand expensive trinkets without knowing where they money for daycare and diapers is coming from (babies are EXPENSIVE) - don’t bother to have kids, you are too damn selfish. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/19 "2010-05-23T13:47:51Z")
I was in labor all Christmas day. After my little one was born we exchanged presents, so it’s almost like a “push present!” Except not. I feel cheated man! Really I’ve never even heard of it except on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430/20 "2010-05-23T13:49:04Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Does the kid deserve a present, too? He’s the one being pushed. > > Of course, it probably doesn’t take much of a gift to make a big impression on a newborn. “Here you go, kid, have some air.” Our kids got “birthday presents” - their college funds were started pretty much that day. For us, that was way more in tune with the way we live than their mother getting expensive dodads. At the time our kids came along, money was pretty tight. Not very very tight, but pretty tight. With mortgage, daycare, diapers, formula it was a long time before their college funds saw much more than that initial money or presents from my parents (my parents give them a small toy and a check for their college funds). (Also, my son is adopted, I didn’t push for the first and went through no more work than my husband did. He may have done more work - he had to drive to the airport.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-for-fun-moms-did-your-so-get-you-a-push-present-if-so-what/540430.md?page=2)