# Just found out I have one more brother and one fewer sister **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2017, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689 "2017-09-19T03:22:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/21 "2017-09-20T19:33:29Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > This is a first time to be mistaken for a ba **k** er, though. :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack: ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2017, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/22 "2017-09-20T20:54:51Z")
OMG, I’ve _always_ read your name as Tokyo Baker. That’s so weird! ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/23 "2017-09-22T17:42:27Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > :smack: I got the initial email **wrong**. Subsequent email exchanges clarified that C identifies and intersex now and not as either male or female. Ooops. That’s a really embarrassing assumption to an unclear email. Apparently C identified as a male as a child but does not now. Please educate me. I thought the term _intersex_ referred to a person with ambiguous genitalia. And I thought the term for someone who wants to be considered neither male nor female (as it seems like C is now saying) was gender-fluid. Or, like, nongendered or agender or something. Not intersex. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/24 "2017-09-22T18:08:49Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > Please educate me. I thought the term _intersex_ referred to a person with ambiguous genitalia. And I thought the term for someone who wants to be considered neither male nor female (as it seems like C is now saying) was gender-fluid. Or, like, nongendered or agender or something. Not intersex. Generally, the term for someone who identifies as neither male nor female (or BOTH male AND female) is non-binary. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/25 "2017-09-22T22:50:43Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Generally, the term for someone who identifies as neither male nor female (or BOTH male AND female) is non-binary. “Intersex” is the term that C used in the email. I looked online and found that the use is controversial but at this stage I’m not going to be quibbling with C about details such as that. C and I are having an ongoing discussion via email, so I will ask C as some point. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2017, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/26 "2017-09-22T23:50:31Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > “Intersex” is the term that C used in the email. I looked online and found that the use is controversial but at this stage I’m not going to be quibbling with C about details such as that. C and I are having an ongoing discussion via email, so I will ask C as some point. Generally doesn’t mean universally. I was more answering **the wind of my soul** than commenting on your situation. Of course, your sibling gets to define the terms that apply here. ---
**Author:** ![MareIt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@MareIt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MareIt)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/27 "2017-09-23T02:07:35Z")
Regarding the issues processing in one language but not the other. I have a friend from HS whose first language is Chinese. She grew up with Chinese as her first language but then acquired an American stepfather. By the time she reached boarding school in the States, her written English was fluent, her spoken English was fluent but accented. She told me once that she really struggled with discussing emotions/feelings in Chinese, especially the ‘fuzzier’ emotions like love. So she always switched into English for those types of discussions - including her boyfriend at the time who was also bilingual and they normally communicated in Chinese. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2017, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689/28 "2017-09-23T05:28:02Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > “Intersex” is the term that C used in the email. I looked online and found that the use is controversial but at this stage I’m not going to be quibbling with C about details such as that. C and I are having an ongoing discussion via email, so I will ask C as some point. Speaking as an intersex person, the controversy is largely due to people who are not intersex who are trying to take the word from us. Normally it is done via ignorance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-found-out-i-have-one-more-brother-and-one-fewer-sister/796689.md?page=1)