# Just give me my fucking money, already! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 11, 2012, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665 "2012-12-11T02:08:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/21 "2012-12-11T22:33:30Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Last time I tried to do a 401k rollover the destination company lost the check. Where’d it go? No idea. So I had to send them another one. Cancelled the first one. Then what happens? > > They deposit the first one, which magically appeared. And despite my cancelling it, it still hit my account. The bank fixed that (since I had cancelled it, after all.) > > That, of course, caused the ACH transaction from the original check to be reversed, which caused the destination 401k to put an alert on my account for fraud. > > That was a fun couple of weeks. It doesn’t help that many of these accounts, because of beneficiary or co-ownership, require either a bank signature guarantee or a notary stamp (or both) on their forms. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/22 "2012-12-12T18:44:28Z")
Rolled over a 401K from T Rowe to Fidelity once upon a time when changing jobs. Had a serious 10 day period of “holy fuck our retirement money has freaking vanished” when T Rowe said they had sent it, and could prove that Fidelity had received it, meanwhile Fidelity said they had no funds from T Rowe, and didn’t care what TR said. Eventually Fidelity “found” it lounging in a “house” account where all funds go when they aren’t sure who they belong to. So for about 10 days my approximately 150K was lost. :eek::eek: Partly T Rowe’s fault for neglecting to put a specific account number on the funds transfer, partly Fidelity’s fault for choosing to ignore that my freaking name was attached to the transfer, and I have a rather unique name. So, yeah, fuck’em. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/23 "2012-12-14T16:30:09Z")
An update: all the various bits of paper have finally fallen into place for my rollovers, although I got a call from TSP yesterday about one of them. My wife’s money, however, is all in limbo while these fucking morons play catch up with the paperwork. Citibank is the worst, dragging their feet on sending a simple fax. She’s on the phone with them while I’m typing this, giving them hell. They’re making excuses and the argument is escalating. She just asked to speak to a supervisor. It takes a lot to get her past calm and rational, and a real mistake to piss her off, which they’ve now managed to do. Honestly, if you have money with any of these institutions, find a better safe haven for it. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/24 "2013-01-01T18:00:08Z")
The Final Solution: The last piddling $10K finally made it into my wife’s account and was posted last night. The company had neglected to send the TSP form, then sent it along; nobody at TSP bothered to put the two pieces of paper together. Luckily, my wife, who is nothing if not dogged, called them every day until everything was settled or it would still be languishing out there somewhere. So two months to get this taken care of, which should be sobering to anybody who has the same situation. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/25 "2013-01-01T21:51:35Z")
Mo’ money, Mo’ problems. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/26 "2013-01-02T01:20:42Z")
One way to handle it is to get a financial planner and have him/her consolidate all the accounts and do the legwork for you. Thats what I ended up doing. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/27 "2013-01-02T02:47:05Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > One way to handle it is to get a financial planner and have him/her consolidate all the accounts and do the legwork for you. Thats what I ended up doing. I’m not paying anybody to do what I can do myself, including annuities and the like, but thanks for the suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![Uber\_the\_Goober](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/58956e/32.png) [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/28 "2013-01-02T03:15:05Z")
Meh, it all depends on what you’d rather be doing. If hollering on the phone is your bag, then more power to you. If you’d rather be out making more money, or relaxing on a Tijuana beach, or anything else… ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/29 "2013-01-02T14:42:48Z")
> [@Uber\_the\_Goober](#): > > Meh, it all depends on what you’d rather be doing. If hollering on the phone is your bag, then more power to you. If you’d rather be out making more money, or relaxing on a Tijuana beach, or anything else… I’m 65: hollering on the phone is what I do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/30 "2013-01-02T16:42:17Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > It’s been a month since we started consolidating all these small 401(k) plans, IRA plans, etc into one account, and to date TWO out of six have shown up in the destination accounts. We’re not talking a fortune here, but you would think we were raiding an offshore account for millions. How fucking hard is it to cut a goddamned check and to follow the explicit instructions I sent you fucking fucks? They either make out the check to me, in which case the target account rejects it, or they don’t send the goddamn form that we enclosed that the target account REFUCKINGQUIRESYOUFUCKING DOUCHEBAGS, and it’s rejected, or some other clusterfuck comes up such as telling us that the plan manager has to fill out the form. That’s YOU, you fucking buttcrack-smelling motherfuckers! > > A word of advice to my fellow Dopers: whenever you leave a job where you were contributing to a retirement plan, make sure that when you open your new retirement plan at your next employer, that you get the money rolled over. If you’re looking at retirement in a few years and plan to consolidate several plans, start now, because these fucking ass monkeys will fuck up an anvil given half a chance and a ballpeen hammer. OUCH!!! We’ve never had quite the same kind of delays, though it does take longer than it should (most of 2 weeks, during which that money ain’t earning any income at all). The annoying one was where they sent the check, made out to something like “in trust for Mama Zappa’s 401k”… to _me_ (there was no way to say “dudes, send it directly to Billy Bob’s Brokers’n’Beer”, so I had to **drive** to the nearest BBBnB to hand them the check. At least they didn’t handle it in such a way that they withheld taxes!! This last time around (Typo Knig’s former job), they at least managed to get the money wired directly to the new brokerage. And one time _at_ that former job, they were changing brokerages - and the money was not _anywhere_ for a full month. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/31 "2013-01-02T17:24:19Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’m not paying anybody to do what I can do myself, including annuities and the like, but thanks for the suggestion. Does the interest you lose while you dick around, aggravation, and amateur bumbling trying to find decent funds/annuities offset the fee of a professional advisor? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/32 "2013-01-02T18:56:23Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Does the interest you lose while you dick around, aggravation, and amateur bumbling trying to find decent funds/annuities offset the fee of a professional advisor? I’m hardly an amateur. I’ve been successfully investing my own money since the mid-80s. And annuities are bullshit for someone like me, who wants to have control over his money. An annuity takes that away from you, as you can’t access the cash if you need it. Additionally, if you have an annuity and you die, the money goes to whoever is holding it for you and not to your heirs (spouse excepted, I believe). While spending a couple of months getting this straightened out has been an aggravation, my outrage is more about how incompetent investment companies are than about losing a bit of interest. But I should trust a professional adviser to take care of business? No thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/33 "2013-01-03T02:41:07Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’m 65: hollering on the phone is what I do. 😃 Hell, I can do that now - are you saying I’ll get better at it in 20 years? 🙂 I’m very glad to hear you finally got it all straightened out, and I get what you’re saying - you shouldn’t have to be a professional financial advisor for financial institutions to not dick you around and waste your time. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/34 "2013-01-03T16:23:15Z")
“Where’s the money, Lebowski?” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/35 "2013-01-03T23:23:13Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > “Where’s the money, Lebowski?” “Is it safe?” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/36 "2013-01-04T12:40:30Z")
> [@L. G. Butts](#): > > Wait a minute, is your name Tuttle by chance? Sorry, it says Buttle. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/37 "2013-01-04T14:52:58Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Sorry, it says Buttle. Is that a Steven Banks reference? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/38 "2013-01-04T14:54:30Z")
My husband is a financial advisor. If it’s any consolation, they make as many mistakes when you want to give them money as when you want to take it away. Dealing with “back office” mistakes is one of the most frustrating parts of his business. After her third mistake in rolling over an IRA, he admonished one incompetent lady at HQ to try really hard not to piss off his clients, as that is who paid her salary. Her response, “I don’t get paid by your client. I get paid by Corporate.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/39 "2013-01-04T15:58:04Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Is that a Steven Banks reference? [Brazil](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazil_(film)): > [@](#): > > Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce) is a low-level government employee who has frequent daydreams of saving a beautiful maiden. One day he is assigned the task of trying to rectify an error caused by a fly getting jammed in a printer, which caused it to misprint a file, resulting in the incarceration and death during interrogation of Mr. Archibald Buttle instead of the suspected “terrorist”, Archibald Tuttle. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665/40 "2013-01-04T20:39:29Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > An annuity takes that away from you, as you can’t access the cash if you need it. Call JG Wentworth! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-give-me-my-fucking-money-already/643665.md?page=3)