# Just GO already. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 7, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665 "2009-03-07T18:45:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/81 "2009-03-08T22:46:39Z")
My post on another board explaining why I take the whole thing seriously and why I’m currently unhappy with SMDB; [QUOTE=Chimera] I said long ago in another place (not the dope); An on-line message board is like a large party in a huge ballroom filled with people. People wander in and out, and wander from table to table in search of conversation. Very few people stand still and only engage in one conversation. In this particular situation, I’d say that upon reaching a certain stage, the party grows beyond the control of the host. It ceases to be their party and becomes OUR party. It isn’t about who is throwing the party, it’s about who is at the party, what can be said, what can be heard, what can be learned, what fun can be had. At this stage, the host has to recognize that he doesn’t control the situation. He can merely guide it, he can merely influence it, or he can shut it down completely and tell everyone to go home. He can kick individuals out of the party, and he can go from table to table (thread to thread) asking people not to speak in certain ways or about certain things. But the moment he moves on, the influence is lost and people will revert to acting the way that they choose to act. Ed stood on the table in the center of the ballroom and shouted above the crowd that we could all stop using certain words, and talking in certain ways and about certain subjects, or we could go find another party. Some of us did just that. He declared that he’d rather work at McDonalds than back down. But back down he did, if only in words, not in actual deeds. But then again, as others have pointed out, apologizing but not changing the actions that required the apology make the apology pretty worthless. We had a lot of fun at that party. We have a lot of good memories, and a lot of friends that we’ve made because we went there. That’s why we take it seriously. When someone asks us to leave simply because they want to change the rules and we don’t want them to, and they then respond by being petty and disrespectful of their guests; then we, as in real life, have cause to be offended and hurt, and to decide to go to a new party. I’m still a member there. I posted there this morning, although in the last week I’ve posted close to 80 times here and perhaps twice there. I didn’t walk out angry like some others, although I don’t blame them at all for doing so. But I have felt the need to step out for a while and see how things settle out. So do I take it too seriously? Perhaps by your standards. But those are your standards and are not mine. By my standards, I’m being very considerate to someone who has publicly allowed as that he doesn’t have any respect for me or anyone else at the party, and who happily showed us the door. That’s not normally a behavior that I’m very interested in tolerating IRL. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/82 "2009-03-08T23:52:24Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I guess I’m with **Justin Bailey** on this one. > > I think the stuff that started all this was quite possibly foolish and ill-thought. > > But I think all the stuff that is stemming from it and the huge ruckus that is now going on because of it… > …is foolish and ill-thought. > Both parties are going about all this in the wrong ways and this is the result. Idle, a lot of very poor decisions were made lately in the pit and elsewhere. If you care about my [specific complaints see my ATMB thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=509030). I think at the heart of over 900 active posters finding shared or alternate homes is the arbitrary moderation, lack of communication and sense that the community is not valued. \*\*Ed Zotti \*\*has owned up to the lack of communication being a real issue. He also said the community is valued. That gives me some hope. I think the two alternate boards may have been exactly what the dope needed at this point. Call it a wake up call. Oddly shortly after \*\*Ed Zotti \*\*made a very fair apology, \*\*SkipMagic \*\*gave a poster a warning over nothing. It was then rescinded at least. It was a head scratcher at best. Now can anyone tell me how “Just Go away” posts ever helped? ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/83 "2009-03-08T23:58:30Z")
This is not in answer to **What Exit** ’s post, but an answer to the question of ‘why are we still talking about this’. This schism reminds me of what happens when a long-term couple splits up. Some friends take one person’s side, some take the other person’s side; some people uncomfortably ride the fence; some people move out of that social circle altogether. The main thing is, people have a need to talk about it; some more than others, but all of them need to get things off of their chests so to speak. That’s what’s been going on across all three boards. It will die down eventually, just as friends eventually stop talking about The Divorce of the Century. It’s human nature. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/84 "2009-03-09T00:33:05Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > No, YOU shut the fuck up. People have a right to express their opinions, just as you do. Don’t like it? Tough nuts. Choke on it. Nobody’s forcing you to read these threads, you dried-up nag. And no one is forcing you to read _this_ one. “Dried-up nag”? _“Dried-up nag”?_ Allow me to _also_ query just when, exactly, you become such a raging asshole? When did meanspirited dickery become your whole reason for being, as far as this Board is concerned? All you do is troll around being a hateful motherfucker, and we should all be so lucky as to have you leave forever. Don’t like it? Tough nuts. Choke on your fucking bile. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/85 "2009-03-09T01:09:17Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > **All you do** is troll around being a hateful motherfucker… Oh, so you’re a liar, too. Good to know, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/86 "2009-03-09T01:21:36Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Oh, so you’re a liar, too. Good to know, thanks. Your sole point being that you’re only a _part time_ meanspirited motherfucker, and the accusations of raging assholishness and meanspirited dickery stand. Wow, you sure got me there. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/87 "2009-03-09T01:25:29Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Oh, so you’re a liar, too. Good to know, thanks. Well you do post nondickish things, but your posts in this thread kind of cross a line. Just sayin. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/88 "2009-03-09T01:29:21Z")
And your last few posts to me aren’t meanspirited and assholish because…? Errr, not you, **Tau**. The mean chick who thinks her farts don’t stink. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/89 "2009-03-09T01:29:56Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > All you do is troll around being a hateful motherfucker, and we should all be so lucky as to have you leave forever. Underlining mine. I thought calling someone a “sexual” something or other was against the rules now. Yes? No? If not what’s the dope? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/90 "2009-03-09T01:33:16Z")
> [@sinjin](#): > > Underlining mine. I thought calling someone a “sexual” something or other was against the rules now. Yes? No? If not what’s the dope? It’s specifically on the [proscribed list](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508858). I’m not bothering to report it, though, because I’m an adult and being called bad words doesn’t bother me. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/91 "2009-03-09T01:35:47Z")
Am I over the line? Then I withdraw the remark, though I offer no apology. If my hand gets slapped, I’ll accept that as merited, pull up my big-girl panties, deal with it, and move on. Because I’m an adult and how adults behave. ---
**Author:** ![Carson\_O\_Genic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Carson\_O\_Genic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carson_O_Genic)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/92 "2009-03-09T01:42:04Z")
Proscribed or no, attempts at insult via someone’s age, gender or sexual proclivity demean and diminish. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/93 "2009-03-09T02:11:44Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Well you do post nondickish things, but your posts in this thread kind of cross a line. What he said. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/94 "2009-03-09T02:16:24Z")
> [@Carson\_O\_Genic](#): > > Proscribed or no, attempts at insult via someone’s age, gender or sexual proclivity demean and diminish. Who are you, the arbiter of civil discourse or something? Let them duke it out. That’s one of the main reasons for the Pit. Why do I get the feeling you’re going to run and tell Teacher (or Mod)? \ ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/95 "2009-03-09T02:23:12Z")
> [@Carson\_O\_Genic](#): > > Proscribed or no, attempts at insult via someone’s age, gender or sexual proclivity demean and diminish. But calling someone a “dried-up nag” is ever so okay? If you’re going to dish out sanctimony, at least spread it around. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/96 "2009-03-09T02:41:47Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > But calling someone a “dried-up nag” is ever so okay? If you’re going to dish out sanctimony, at least spread it around. Isn’t that kind of the point. In reality calling someone a “motherfucker” isn’t nearly as mean as calling someone a “dried-up nag.” But now the one is ok and the other is not. ---
**Author:** ![Ed\_Zotti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/fbc32d/32.png) [@Ed\_Zotti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ed_Zotti)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665/97 "2009-03-09T03:02:42Z")
> [@sinjin](#): > > Isn’t that kind of the point. In reality calling someone a “motherfucker” isn’t nearly as mean as calling someone a “dried-up nag.” But now the one is ok and the other is not. Be that as it may, it’s on the proscribed list, so we would appreciate posters not using this term. Since this thread has degenerated into name-calling and little else, I’m going to close it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-go-already/488665.md?page=4)