# Just got laid!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2012, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602 "2012-11-30T19:35:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/1 "2012-11-30T19:35:49Z")
Sorry, this is NOT a parody of the “Just got laid off” thread, though that would be my sense of humor. (I once wrote a “I got a blowjob” thread to parody a “I just got a job” thread, I think, which was received shall-we-say variously around here.) No, this is a mundane and pointless complaint about my latest batch of Creative Writing students who are setting new records for writing intense but mind-numbingly dull sex scenes. About three-quarters of them this term are, for some reason, describing their sex lives instead of writing fiction and not really understanding why I keep asking them “Uh, what’s the point here? Is this ABOUT anything? Are we supposed to care about these characters?” To understand what I’m complaining about, imagine a typical Penthouse Forum letter. No, imagine a letter rejected by the Penthouse forum for its lack of wit, clever imagery, smooth and supple prose. No, imagine a letter EASILY rejected by the Penthouse forum for its lack of wit, clever imagery, smooth and supple prose. That’s about it. “I fucked her, and then I decided to turn her over and fuck her again, which I did. I drank eight beers, then I fucked that big-titted girl in my co-ed dorm again. This was turning out to be a pretty good morning so far” is about the level of this writing–I’m as tough to offend for vulgarity as anyone I know, and I’ve been teaching this stuff since the late 1970s, but this is just absurd. Apart from my own sensibilities, I’m wondering whether some of the quieter students in the class might not be offended by this stuff. It’s really so awful. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/2 "2012-11-30T19:38:32Z")
You teach a class in how to write bad porn? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/3 "2012-11-30T19:39:50Z")
Where do I sign up for this class? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/4 "2012-11-30T19:44:18Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > “I fucked her, and then I decided to turn her over and fuck her again, which I did. I drank eight beers, then I fucked that big-titted girl in my co-ed dorm again. This was turning out to be a pretty good morning so far” And?? And??? Don’t leave us hanging! ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/5 "2012-11-30T19:49:11Z")
Assessment Gems is better. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/6 "2012-11-30T19:51:19Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > You teach a class in how to write bad porn? I don’t think that’s what the catalogue specifies, but that’s how it’s working out. Actually, I’m trying to teach how NOT to write bad porn. Now that I think of it, if anyone has suggestions for good erotic and literary writing, I’ll suggest those as models–so far, I’ve been recommending Mailer, Miller, Roth, Nicholson Baker–but really what I want to recommend that they find subjects that they actually know a little bit about. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/7 "2012-11-30T19:51:51Z")
Have somebody in the room singing “Bow chicka bow wow” while you read it aloud. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/8 "2012-11-30T19:55:49Z")
**OFF!** ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/9 "2012-11-30T21:55:53Z")
Someone writes a crappy S&M porn novel and it smashes world sales records and next thing you know creative writing students are writing nothing but shitty porn. Who’d a thunk it? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/10 "2012-11-30T22:10:53Z")
There is an anthology that comes out every year of the best erotic short stories. That might be good. I’d also tell them, because its true, that erotica needs to be written at a higher standard than other genres for the same credit. IF you have a student that can pull of “literary fiction” then they can do it poorly - its HARD to do well. SF/Fantasy and Romance can be rather mediocre. If your students are trying to write erotica, they need to do it that much better. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/11 "2012-12-01T00:31:19Z")
Might I just say, **Dangerosa** , that your post followed by your sig line is in many ways some of the finest subtle porn I’ve read in a long time. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/12 "2012-12-01T00:52:45Z")
My favorite sex scene I ever wrote: > [@](#): > > They were copulating (It was not good or passionate sex) Of course, that’s exactly the sort of sex these people would have… ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/13 "2012-12-01T00:54:52Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > I don’t think that’s what the catalogue specifies, but that’s how it’s working out. Actually, I’m trying to teach how NOT to write bad porn. Now that I think of it, if anyone has suggestions for good erotic and literary writing, I’ll suggest those as models–so far, I’ve been recommending Mailer, Miller, Roth, Nicholson Baker–but really what I want to recommend that they find subjects that they actually know a little bit about. Didn’t Mailer get the _Literary Review_ bad sex award one year? ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/14 "2012-12-01T01:01:53Z")
It sure wasn’t all good–I think his sex scenes in ANCIENT EVENINGS were hilariously bad. But when he was good, he was very, very good. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/15 "2012-12-01T01:05:31Z")
> [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](#): > > Didn’t Mailer get the _Literary Review_ bad sex award one year? You might be confusing him with\*\* Mormon Nailer\*\*. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/16 "2012-12-01T01:22:13Z")
Maybe you should have used the writings of Henry Miller as a guide? Best sex scenes ever, IMO. Quasi ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/17 "2012-12-01T01:27:59Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > Maybe you should have used the writings of Henry Miller as a guide? > > Best sex scenes ever, IMO. > > Quasi Read post #6 very carefully. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/18 "2012-12-01T01:41:50Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Might I just say, **Dangerosa** , that your post followed by your sig line is in many ways some of the finest subtle porn I’ve read in a long time. > > 😃 I am NOT going to write or read Teletubbie fanfic :eek: Though it sounds like it would be way more creative and witty just out of the gate than anything PRR’s students are writing. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/19 "2012-12-01T02:24:16Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Read post #6 very carefully. Sorry, didn’t mean to sound glib. Just missed it, is all. 🙂 Q ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602/20 "2012-12-01T02:27:23Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > And?? And??? Don’t leave us hanging! If that left you ‘hanging’, there’s a pill for that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-laid/642602.md?page=2)