# Just got some spectacularly bad advice from someone I trust **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-some-spectacularly-bad-advice-from-someone-i-trust/557482 "2010-10-17T21:25:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-some-spectacularly-bad-advice-from-someone-i-trust/557482/61 "2010-10-20T17:52:30Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > One part of the retreat was faculty introductions/career advice. One guy said, “People say I have no life. Well, this [academia] is my life. I suggest it be yours too, if you want to be successful.” No other faculty member said, “But it’s important to balance work and personal life.” So, a bunch of people that I should supposedly look up to for advice are all overtly or tacitly agreeing with my original view of myself: that I should define myself in terms of academic performance. . I know, that you know, that you have a catastrophizing outlook at the moment (compare your OP with what actually occured for one data point), but AT MOST you had a group people who chose not to outwardly disagree with the statement. You didn’t say, so I presume you didn’t observe, most or all of the people murmurring agreement or even nodding at the statement. The reasons they might choose not to respond in disagreement are numerous, but the foremost one that strikes me is the basic social nicety of not arguing with a person’s self-identification or point of view at a getting-to-know-you event. Imagine if the person had said, instead, “My name is Bob and I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior, and you should too.” As inappropriate as Bob’s remark is, most people would avoid a discussion, in that moment and in that context, of whether Bob was correct about Jesus. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-got-some-spectacularly-bad-advice-from-someone-i-trust/557482.md?page=3)