# Just heard from a guy I drunkenly hooked up with 15 years ago **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 18, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374 "2011-05-18T21:33:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/81 "2011-05-19T23:37:40Z")
Also, keep anything and everything he sends you, and document it. Just in case. (I appologize if this has been said already and I happened to miss it) ---
**Author:** ![Junkman209](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/junkman209/32/5522_2.png) [@Junkman209](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junkman209)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/82 "2011-05-20T02:42:04Z")
> [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > And the crazy keeps on coming… > And he has to know I’m married…my profile pic is a picture of me, my husband and our little girl. > > He’s officially blocked now, btw, I swear. WITHOUT DELAY – Have your family members block him too! In my opinion, the stalking has begun. I am sure he is going to try to gather all the information about you that he can. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/83 "2011-05-20T03:20:55Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Exactly. Why are you guys obsessed with right or wrong here? Someone is hurt. What you do with hurt people is try to make them feel better, as long as it isn’t too big an imposition on you. > > Who the fuck cares whether the guy was justified or not? Why does that factor into your compassion? Sorry Pollyanna, but this guy’s a nutbar with a capital NUT. There’s hurt and there’s crazy weirdoness, and this guy’s pretty clearly in the latter rather than the former. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/84 "2011-05-20T03:42:50Z")
> [@Gleena](#): > > Sorry Pollyanna, but this guy’s a nutbar with a capital NUT. I beg your pardon. My NUT has always been in lower case. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/85 "2011-05-20T04:41:48Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Those other kids had good instincts. They should have finished the job. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/86 "2011-05-20T05:13:25Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I’d send him one more note ebfore blocking, just to say “Hey, all I did was kiss you, and then I wasn’t interested. Whatever these guys did I’m not taking responsibility for. Good luck to you, I’m going to block you now because I don’t think there’s anythign to be gained from further communication.” Don’t do this. You’ll just be giving him an in to respond to “it was just a kiss” with whatever stupid horseshit significance he’s cooked up over the last decade and a half of stewing- even if you blocked him, it’d only encourage him to find other ways to contact you. Don’t listen to this person. Listen to everyone else in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/87 "2011-05-20T05:49:28Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > I beg your pardon. My NUT has always been in lower case. 😉 Win! /hijack You’re in Tragic City? I’ve spent far too much time there! ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/88 "2011-05-20T15:57:20Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Don’t do this. You’ll just be giving him an in to respond to “it was just a kiss” with whatever stupid horseshit significance he’s cooked up over the last decade and a half of stewing- even if you blocked him, it’d only encourage him to find other ways to contact you. Don’t listen to this person. Listen to everyone else in the thread. Absolutely yes, the “ETA” was meant to say exactly that. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2011, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/89 "2011-05-20T21:37:01Z")
Have everyone who is a friend of your on FB block him, too. Otherwise, he can keep tabs on you by looking at their pages. Keep copies of all the messages. Do not respond in any way. This guy isn’t a weirdo. He’s dangerously out of touch with normal social expectations, and therefore unpredictable in what he’ll do next. He could, of course, just go away, but I would bet on at least a few attempts to contact you through other channels before he does so. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/90 "2011-05-21T05:43:18Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Have everyone who is a friend of your on FB block him, too. Otherwise, he can keep tabs on you by looking at their pages. How? When you block someone on Facebook, you become invisible to them. I’m not aware of any way for a blocked person to see interactions between you and your mutual friends. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/91 "2011-05-21T15:04:07Z")
I’m not that worried about it, anyway–we have two mutual Facebook friends, and I never interact with either of them. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/92 "2011-05-21T19:06:04Z")
I believe once you message someone, they have access to your page for 30 days. Hopefully that is negated by blocking him, but during that time until you did, he could access everything you had open for viewing. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/93 "2011-05-21T23:36:18Z")
> [@Poysyn](#): > > I believe once you message someone, they have access to your page for 30 days. Nope. Not sure where you heard this. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/94 "2011-05-22T00:12:38Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Nope. Not sure where you heard this. In **Poysyn** ’s defense, I believe that _used_ to be true, but it hasn’t been for quite some time. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Ed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Just\_Ed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Ed)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/95 "2011-05-22T00:13:53Z")
> [@Poysyn](#): > > I believe once you message someone, they have access to your page for 30 days. Hopefully that is negated by blocking him, but during that time until you did, he could access everything you had open for viewing. > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Nope. Not sure where you heard this. Might be some confusion with friend requests, which do (or at least used to) give the person you requested access to your Wall. Blocking does indeed sever all connections, though: “Once you block someone, that person can no longer be your friend on Facebook or interact with you (except within applications and games you both use).” Oh, and **PeskiPiksi** , sounds to me like you reacted kindly to an odd situation, and did the best you could with it. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/96 "2011-05-22T00:46:09Z")
> [@DooWahDiddy](#): > > In **Poysyn** ’s defense, I believe that _used_ to be true, but it hasn’t been for quite some time. Certainly wouldn’t be the first time I had the wrong information, thanks for clarifying. I hope the OP hears nothing else from the weirdo. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/97 "2011-05-22T01:17:50Z")
> [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > Okay now this is just sad. This is his response to my apology: > > **[This incident] was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me, and keep in mind that at the age of 12 I was stuffed under a sink by a gang of kids who nearly suffocated me to death by spraying chemicals. When I recovered from that, they beat me senseless. This was worse, not by much, but worse…(Here he goes off on one a rant against my best guy friend at the time, complaining that “this is the type of guy I was being judged and humiliated by.” I hope you’re having a good life too, and I hope this doesn’t come up again.** Damn, girl! All I can say is you must be one helluva kisser. 😉 I’ve dealt with more than my share of crazy people and still do (Thailand attracts them like flies). Now that you’ve apologized an offered and explanation and he’s _still_ acting so creepy, attempts at blocking any contact are the right way to go. The stalking bit is scary; I may have missed it in the thread, but I hope he’s still not living in your area. If by some chance he evades all attempts to cut off contact and manages to speak or write to you, then that will be the time to tell him honestly that his behavior is completely inappropriate and you want nothing to do with him; and then you might want to mention it to the police, because your words will not have registered on him if my experience is anything to go by. As for “hooking up,” back in my day it just meant any kind of relationship, sexual or otherwise. You could “hook up” with someone downtown and go out for a drink. Or a quickie. Or a pizza. Guess it’s evolved. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/98 "2011-05-22T03:01:30Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > You could “hook up” with someone downtown and go out for a drink. Or a quickie. Or a pizza. Guess it’s evolved. AFAIK, it still has that meeting. “Let’s hook up for a beer” is still common usage, unless I really have crested comfortably into middle age. But when you talk about a “drunken hook-up”, to me that’s always been sexual. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/99 "2011-05-22T05:20:30Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Damn, girl! All I can say is you must be one helluva kisser. 😉 You know it! 😛 Seriously, though…I have a feeling that in his mind I’m still that skinny, attractive, shy-but-friendly nineteen year-old. I think maybe if he came face to face with the middle-age, overweight (gotta be honest) woman I’ve become (who barely has time to brush her teeth some days and usually has a baby on one arm and a toddler clutching after)…well…lets just say he might not be so enthusiastic to rekindle the past! Thanks everyone for all the advice in the thread. So far all’s been quiet, but my little girl’s been sick so I’ve barely left the house. Next time I go out I’ll make sure to watch for cars following behind! ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374/100 "2011-05-22T05:27:13Z")
Several years ago I bought my first home. A 10yrs younger friend was visiting, checking out the new situation. When he saw that I now owned my own washer-and-dryer, his exact words were “dude. You got the hookup!” ~goes back to having cheap, emotionally-unattached-and-uninvolved sex with the washer-and-dryer~ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-heard-from-a-guy-i-drunkenly-hooked-up-with-15-years-ago/582374.md?page=6)