# Just how many Doms/subs ARE there on the SDMB? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 28, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449 "2003-07-28T15:51:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/1 "2003-07-28T15:51:23Z")
My ears perked up after reading the thread in the pit about the bambis… I had NO idea there were other subs on the SDMB. Mind you I dont come here much anymore, between everquest, school full time(now work full time) and livejournal… i just sorta drifted away… Anyhoo, i would love to have a nice discussion thread with other subs, anyone interested? ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/2 "2003-07-28T18:31:48Z")
ack now i am embarrassed!:o _crickets chirp_ ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/3 "2003-07-28T19:14:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > \*\*ack now i am embarrassed!:o > > _crickets chirp_ \*\* Nah, we just figured you were into public humiliation 😉 That or no one could get permission to post. Was there anything in particular you wanted to discuss? Just general subbiness or what? ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/4 "2003-07-28T19:29:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lost4life \* > **Nah, we just figured you were into public humiliation 😉 That or no one could get permission to post.** ROFL good one! I dont know any subs in ‘real life’ so i dont have anyone to chat with about this, how did you all get started? when did you realize? any bad experiences? does your family/friends know you are submissive… That kind of chat 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/5 "2003-07-28T19:31:35Z")
Speaking of crickets…Kricket? Get yer ass in her now! 😉 (she’s gonna kill me) ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/6 "2003-07-28T19:32:18Z")
jarbaby used to exhibit some pretty pronounced sub qualities. Haven’t seen her around much of late though. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/7 "2003-07-28T19:38:31Z")
i keep pretty close tabs on the jar via LJ, and she is an inspiration to me. Boy i hope this thread doesnt jump up and slap me in the ass (well, OK, i really DO…) but lets not hope this isnt an overshare that haunts me later 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/8 "2003-07-28T19:41:01Z")
My name in other fora in Missfran. Guess where I stand? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/9 "2003-07-28T19:48:45Z")
Just popping in to say HI KELLI! Long time no see, girlfriend. It’s me, **Canthearya** AKA **Gazelle from Hell** and now just plain ol’ **Gazelle** ---
**Author:** ![Brad\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8dc957/32.png) [@Brad\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brad_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/10 "2003-07-28T19:54:21Z")
Hi kellibelli! I’ve actually got quite a few questions, and this seems like it might be the thread to get them answered. My wife and I have recently discovered the fun of Dom/Sub play, with me the Dom and her the Sub. We kind of stumbled upon it by accident, after over a decade of first meeting. As the Dom, I’m really unsure of how I’m supposed to do things though. We’ve picked up a couple of magazines, and watched a couple of tapes, but the stuff we see is kinda (for lack of a better word) hardcore for us right now. We are still in kind of a trial and error stage right now, and while that stuff looks interesting, its all a bit overwhelming right now. Any one have any words of advise for a beginner? ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/11 "2003-07-28T20:24:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Brad the Impaler \* > \*\*Hi kellibelli! > > I’ve actually got quite a few questions, and this seems like it might be the thread to get them answered. > > My wife and I have recently discovered the fun of Dom/Sub play, with me the Dom and her the Sub. We kind of stumbled upon it by accident, after over a decade of first meeting. > > As the Dom, I’m really unsure of how I’m supposed to do things though. We’ve picked up a couple of magazines, and watched a couple of tapes, but the stuff we see is kinda (for lack of a better word) hardcore for us right now. We are still in kind of a trial and error stage right now, and while that stuff looks interesting, its all a bit overwhelming right now. > > Any one have any words of advise for a beginner? \*\* Well most magazines and videos are about as realistic as a porno movie is to a regular sex life. The main advice I could give is that your wife is the sub, so that means she’s in charge. Figure out what her feelings are and go with that. Certain websites have little tests that have you rate your interests in a variety of different bdsm topics. Look for one of those, both of you fill it out, then compare your answers. There are quite a few how-to books and websites out there where you can gain a bit of knowledge. Good luck… ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/12 "2003-07-28T20:33:41Z")
I highly recommend [The Topping Book](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1890159360/qid=1059424702/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-8192048-6417528?v=glance&s=books) and it’s sister companion The Bottoming book (also linked on that page). It’s easy to read and good for beginners. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/13 "2003-07-28T21:51:59Z")
**Moderator’s Notes:** As fascinating as some might find this, since this isn’t _Penthouse Forum_, we’re gonna keep this thread from getting too graphic. Right? I thought so. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/14 "2003-07-28T22:13:14Z")
Frannie! You’re _British_, for heaven’s sake! Talk about shattering images. _Man!_ Whatever happened to “close your eyes and think of England”? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/15 "2003-07-28T22:51:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Francesca \* > \*\*I highly recommend [The Topping Book](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1890159360/qid=1059424702/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-8192048-6417528?v=glance&s=books) and it’s sister companion The Bottoming book (also linked on that page). It’s easy to read and good for beginners. \*\* Actually, it’s **The _New_ Bottoming Book**. Guess the old one must have worn out. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/16 "2003-07-28T23:10:11Z")
**Coldie** obviously is unaware of British public school education. Nothing is more British than a good spanking. It is amazing what an inventive dom can do with a few clothes pegs, duck tape, and a bit of old rope. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/17 "2003-07-29T00:13:29Z")
wheeee! some familiar faces! hey canthearya… What? LOL I dont see this getting anymore graphic than any of the gazillion gay threads… submission doesnt necessarily mean sick wicked horrible hardcore violent scary stuff. Brad, love to help, but i am a bit of a novice myself, Frans books look promising, i might get one myself. I was really hoping for more of a chat less about details, and more about the practical stuff, day to day, like how do you cover the marks? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/18 "2003-07-29T00:37:25Z")
For reading, you might also try SM101 and Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns. The latter is a bit cutesy for me but overall well done. kellibelli, you just wear clothes over them! I’ve been told putting arnica on them will make them fade faster - although that’s not always the goal. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Carcosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@Carcosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carcosa)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/19 "2003-07-29T05:28:03Z")
I would second the book SM101. Also, you might google for local groups which usually have presentations concerning different techniques and other subjects such as after care and hygiene. And be sure to cruise Home Depot, they have all sorts of gadgets (clamps, ropes, rods, chains, etc…) they can be put to uses for which they were not originally intended.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449/20 "2003-07-29T08:10:57Z")
BeagleDave showing a Dom side? Who would have thougt? 😉 He looks so mild mannered by day, but by night… And I wouldn’t dare dream of hurting you, but I might wait to see what Dommes wander in and see what interesting things they could come up with for ya’. UncleBeer, is there anyway we could convince you to let us get a bit naughty? Or if we do get a touch out of hand without permission will there be spankings all around? As for marks being left, if you find someone who has a bit of expirence you don’t get marks. If it’s new to both marks can happen. Arnica helps a bit, as well as just keeping them covered as suggested. I have been brought to the edge with a crop and had no marks left. Other times marks can be left as a reminder. And don’t get me wrong, on the times that no marks were left, there was still the sting left to remind me everytime I sat down. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/just-how-many-doms-subs-are-there-on-the-sdmb/191449.md?page=2)